Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, but sometimes our instincts tell us something’s off.
While it’s important not to jump to conclusions, certain behaviours can point to a potential breach of trust. If you’re noticing these signs, it might be time for an honest conversation with your husband. Here are 17 signs your husband might not be trustworthy around your best friend.
1. He’s overly interested in your best friend’s life.
If your husband suddenly knows more about your best friend’s daily life than you do, it’s a red flag. This excessive interest could indicate he’s paying more attention to her than is appropriate. Pay attention to how often he brings her up in conversation, or how detailed his knowledge of her life becomes.
2. He finds excuses to be alone with her.
Watch out for situations where your husband seems to engineer one-on-one time with your best friend. If he’s volunteering to pick her up, drop her off, or help her with tasks that don’t require his specific skills, he might be looking for opportunities for private interactions. Doing this suggests he’s prioritising time with her over maintaining appropriate boundaries.
3. His body language changes around her.
Non-verbal cues can speak volumes. If your husband’s body language noticeably shifts when your best friend is around — leaning in closer, making prolonged eye contact, or finding reasons to initiate physical contact — it could indicate a deeper interest. These subtle changes might be subconscious, but they’re important to note.
4. He’s overly protective or possessive of her.
If your husband starts acting protective or possessive of your best friend, especially in social situations, it’s concerning. This might manifest as him speaking for her, defending her excessively, or showing jealousy when she interacts with other men. It suggests he’s developing feelings that go beyond a typical friendship.
5. He compares you to her — and she comes out on top.
Beware if your husband starts comparing you to your best friend, especially in ways that paint you in a negative light. Comments like “Why can’t you be more like her?” or constantly praising her qualities while criticising yours are huge red flags. This undermines your self-esteem and indicates he’s idealising your friend.
6. He’s secretive about his phone or social media.
Sudden secrecy around digital communications is always suspicious. If your husband has become protective of his phone, changed passwords without explanation, or seems to be hiding his screen when messaging, it could indicate he’s having inappropriate conversations with your friend. This lack of transparency is a serious breach of trust.
7. He tries to create distance between you and your friend.
If your husband starts discouraging your friendship or finding reasons why you shouldn’t spend time with your best friend, be wary. This could be a manipulative tactic to reduce your closeness with her, either out of guilt or to create more opportunities for him to interact with her without you present.
8. He’s overly critical of your friend’s partners.
Pay attention if your husband becomes unusually critical of your best friend’s romantic partners or seems pleased when her relationships end. This behaviour might indicate jealousy or a desire for her to be single. It’s especially concerning if he didn’t show this level of interest in her love life before.
9. Your friend seems uncomfortable around him.
Sometimes, your friend’s behaviour can be telling. If she seems uneasy around your husband, avoids being alone with him, or has become distant from you, it might be because she’s picking up on his inappropriate interest or has experienced uncomfortable interactions with him.
10. He remembers details about her that you don’t.
Source: Unsplash When your husband recalls specific details about your best friend that even you don’t remember, it’s a sign he’s paying unusually close attention to her. This could include remembering her favourite foods, important dates in her life, or preferences you weren’t aware of. Such detailed knowledge suggests a level of interest that goes beyond casual friendship.
11. He’s suddenly more interested in activities she enjoys.
If your husband suddenly develops passionate interests in hobbies or activities that your best friend enjoys, especially if they’re things he previously showed no interest in, it could be an attempt to create common ground with her. While shared interests aren’t inherently bad, this sudden shift might indicate he’s trying to forge a closer connection with her.
12. He becomes defensive when you mention their interactions.
Source: Unsplash Pay attention to your husband’s reactions when you bring up his relationship with your best friend. If he becomes unusually defensive, dismissive, or tries to quickly change the subject, it could indicate guilt or discomfort about his behaviour. Open, honest communication shouldn’t provoke such strong reactions.
13. He’s overly complimentary of her appearance.
Source: Unsplash While it’s normal to occasionally compliment friends, excessive or intimate comments about your best friend’s appearance from your husband are inappropriate. If he’s constantly remarking on how attractive she is or noticing small details about her looks, it suggests he’s viewing her in a way that goes beyond platonic appreciation.
14. He tries to create inside jokes or shared experiences with her.
Source: Unsplash Be wary if your husband seems to be cultivating a separate relationship with your best friend, complete with inside jokes or shared experiences that exclude you. This creates an emotional intimacy that can threaten your relationship with both your husband and your friend.
15. Your intuition is telling you something’s off.
Source: Unsplash Never underestimate your gut feeling. If you have a persistent sense that something isn’t right about your husband’s interactions with your best friend, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly why, it’s worth paying attention to. Our subconscious often picks up on subtle cues that our conscious mind might miss.
16. He gets jealous when she spends time with other friends.
Source: Unsplash If your husband shows signs of jealousy or irritation when your best friend spends time with other friends, especially male friends, it’s a red flag. This possessive behaviour suggests he’s developed feelings for her that go beyond the boundaries of a married man’s relationship with his wife’s friend.
17. He’s overly eager to resolve conflicts between you and her.
Source: Unsplash While it’s nice for your husband to care about your friendships, be cautious if he becomes overly invested in resolving any conflicts between you and your best friend. If he’s quick to take her side or seems more concerned about maintaining your friendship than you are, it could indicate he has a vested interest in keeping her in your lives.
