Some people will do whatever it takes to get what they want, even when it might not be in everyone’s best interest.
They don’t always use brute force or overt manipulation, either ; sometimes, it’s about subtle tactics that can be hard to spot until you’re already caught in their web. If you’ve ever felt like someone’s been pulling the strings without you realising it, here are a few sneaky tricks to watch out for.
1. They use guilt trips.
A classic manipulation tactic, guilt trips are designed to make you feel responsible for someone else’s emotional state. They might say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me,” or “I’ve done so much for you, it’s the least you can do.” The goal is to make you feel obligated to give in, even if it’s not what you truly want.
2. They play the victim.
Another common tactic is playing the victim card. They might exaggerate their problems, downplay your concerns, or blame you for their misfortunes. This can make you feel guilty or responsible for their well-being, leading you to do things you wouldn’t normally do.
3. They use flattery and compliments to manipulate you.
Who doesn’t like to be complimented? But when someone is overly flattering or showering you with praise, it can be a sign that they’re trying to butter you up. They might be hoping that your positive feelings towards them will make you more likely to agree to their requests or overlook their flaws.
4. They withhold information or play dumb.
By keeping you in the dark or pretending not to understand something, they can maintain control and get you to do their bidding. This tactic can be especially effective when you’re in a vulnerable position or need their expertise.
5. They create a false sense of urgency.
By making you feel like you need to act quickly or miss out on an opportunity, they can pressure you into making decisions you might later regret. This tactic is often used in sales, but it can also show up in personal relationships.
6. They use passive-aggressive behaviour
Instead of directly confronting you, they might make sarcastic remarks, give you the silent treatment, or subtly undermine your efforts. This can be confusing and frustrating, leaving you feeling unsure of where you stand and what they really want.
7. They gaslight you.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that involves making you doubt your own sanity or perception of reality. They might deny things they’ve said or done, twist your words, or even accuse you of being paranoid or delusional. This can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental health.
8. They love bomb you.
This tactic involves overwhelming you with affection, attention, and gifts in order to gain your trust and affection. Once they have you hooked, they might start to withdraw or become more demanding, leaving you confused and desperate to please them.
9. They triangulate you.
This involves bringing a third person into the situation to support their agenda or create conflict between you and someone else. They might share your secrets with other people, pit you against a friend or family member, or even pretend to be the mediator between you and someone else, all while manipulating the situation behind the scenes.
10. They make you feel like you owe them.
Whether it’s through constant reminders of past favours or exaggerated displays of self-sacrifice, they create a sense of indebtedness in you. This makes it harder to say no to their requests or stand up for yourself when they cross a line.
11. They isolate you from your support system.
Manipulative people often try to isolate you from your support network of friends and family. They might criticise your loved ones, plant seeds of doubt about their intentions, or even make it difficult for you to spend time with them. This isolation makes you more dependent on them and more vulnerable to their influence.
12. They use your insecurities against you.
They might subtly highlight your weaknesses, insecurities, or past mistakes to make you feel less confident and more reliant on their approval. This can be particularly effective if they know something personal about you that you’re sensitive about.
13. They deflect blame and responsibility.
When things go wrong, they’re quick to point the finger at someone else, often you. They might refuse to apologise, downplay their role in the situation, or even accuse you of being oversensitive or unreasonable. This can leave you feeling frustrated and unheard.
14. They change the subject or avoid difficult conversations.
When confronted about their behaviour, they might try to change the subject, deflect the blame, or simply shut down the conversation. This can be infuriating and make it difficult to address the issue at hand.
15. They use silence as a weapon.
The silent treatment can be a powerful tool of manipulation. By withdrawing their attention and affection, they can make you feel anxious, insecure, and desperate to regain their approval. This can be especially effective if you’re someone who values connection and communication.
16. They project their own flaws onto you.
Instead of acknowledging their own shortcomings, they might accuse you of having the very traits they exhibit. For example, if they’re dishonest, they might accuse you of being untrustworthy. This projection can be confusing and make you question your own sanity.
17. They make empty promises.
Manipulative people are often skilled at making promises they have no intention of keeping. They might offer to change their behaviour, make amends, or do something for you in the future, but their words rarely match their actions. This can leave you feeling disappointed and betrayed.
