Finding a church community can be an amazing source of support, but it’s important to be aware that not all churches are created equal.
Sometimes, red flags might crop up that signal a less-than-healthy environment. Here are some subtle signs that might indicate it’s time to take a closer look or even consider finding a different spiritual home.
1. There’s an excessive focus on money and donations.
While churches need financial support to operate, it shouldn’t feel like a constant pressure cooker. If the message seems more about filling the coffers than feeding the soul, that’s a red flag. It’s also a concern if leaders flaunt their personal wealth or make members feel guilty for not giving more.
2. Dissent or questioning is discouraged.
Source: Unsplash Healthy churches welcome thoughtful questions and respectful disagreements. If your church seems to shut down any form of dissent, viewing it as a threat to authority, it might not be the most welcoming place for spiritual growth. This can create an environment where people are afraid to express their doubts or concerns.
3. There’s a lack of transparency in finances or decision-making.
Churches should be open and honest about how they use their resources and how decisions are made. If there’s a lack of transparency or a sense of secrecy surrounding these matters, it can breed distrust and suspicion. Open communication is key to building a strong and healthy community.
4. The leadership seems more interested in power than service.
Church leaders should be humble servants, putting the needs of the congregation before their own egos. If you notice leaders vying for power, making decisions that benefit themselves, or acting like they’re above reproach, that’s a big red flag. It can create a toxic environment where abuse of power can flourish.
5. There’s an us-versus-them mentality.
Source: Unsplash A healthy church should welcome people from all walks of life, regardless of their background or beliefs. If your church fosters an “us-versus-them” mentality, where members are taught to view outsiders with suspicion or judgment, it’s a sign of exclusivity and intolerance.
6. The church promotes harmful or discriminatory teachings.
Source: Unsplash While different churches have varying theological perspectives, there’s a line when it comes to teachings that promote harm or discrimination. If your church’s teachings encourage prejudice against certain groups, justify abuse, or promote harmful practices, it’s time to find a more inclusive and loving community.
7. There’s a culture of fear and control.
Source: Pexels Healthy churches encourage members to think for themselves and make informed decisions. If your church uses fear tactics, manipulation, or guilt to control its members, that’s a major red flag. It can lead to a toxic environment where people feel trapped and afraid to speak up.
8. There’s a lack of accountability for leaders or members.
Everyone makes mistakes, including church leaders and members. However, a healthy church should have mechanisms in place to address those mistakes and hold people accountable for their actions. If there’s a lack of accountability, or if problematic behaviour is swept under the rug, it can create a culture of impunity and abuse.
9. There’s a lack of diversity in leadership or representation.
Churches should reflect the diversity of the communities they serve. If the leadership and representation are predominantly from one demographic group, it can signal a lack of inclusivity. It might also mean that certain voices and perspectives are not being heard or valued.
10. The church prioritises appearance over substance.
While a welcoming atmosphere and an aesthetically pleasing environment are nice, they shouldn’t be the primary focus of a church. If it seems like more effort goes into maintaining a certain image than addressing real needs, it can indicate a lack of depth and authenticity.
11. There’s an overemphasis on rules and regulations.
While some structure and guidelines are important, too many rules can stifle spiritual growth and create a legalistic environment. If your church seems more focused on enforcing rules than fostering grace and compassion, it might not be the most supportive place for you.
12. The church promotes a prosperity gospel.
The prosperity gospel, which teaches that financial blessings are a sign of God’s favour, can be misleading and harmful. It can create a false sense of entitlement and lead people to believe that material wealth is the ultimate goal. A healthy church emphasises spiritual growth and service to others, not material gain.
13. There’s a lack of support for those in need.
Churches should be a refuge for those facing challenges and difficulties. If your church neglects to provide support for those in need, whether it’s emotional, financial, or spiritual, it might not be living up to its mission. A truly compassionate church cares for its members in times of crisis.
14. The church isolates itself from other faith communities.
While it’s important for churches to have their own unique identities, healthy churches also recognise the value of interfaith dialogue and collaboration. If your church seems to isolate itself from other faith communities, viewing them as rivals or enemies, it can hinder spiritual growth and understanding.
15. There’s a culture of gossip and judgment.
Gossip and judgmental attitudes can quickly poison a church community. If you notice that people are quick to criticise people, spread rumours, or engage in backbiting, it’s a sign of a toxic environment. Healthy churches foster a culture of love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
16. The church discourages critical thinking or intellectual inquiry.
Faith and reason are not mutually exclusive. A healthy church encourages members to engage in critical thinking, explore different perspectives, and ask tough questions. If your church discourages intellectual inquiry or demands blind obedience, it can stifle spiritual growth and intellectual curiosity.
17. You feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Ultimately, the most important factor is how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or unwelcomed in your church, trust your gut instincts. There are many different churches out there, and you deserve to find one where you feel loved, supported, and respected.
