We’ve all met people who seem to have missed the memo on basic human decency.
They’re not necessarily villains twirling their moustaches, but their self-centred behaviour can leave people feeling frustrated, used, and disrespected. Here are some signs that someone’s looking out for number one and no one else.
1. They’re masters of the one-way conversation.
Talking to them feels like a monologue, not a dialogue. They’ll go on and on about their lives, their problems, their achievements, but ask them a question about you? Suddenly, they’ve got somewhere to be. It’s like they’re starring in their own personal reality show and everyone else is just an extra.
2. “Favour” is a foreign concept to them.
Need a hand moving? Don’t call them. These folks are mysteriously busy whenever someone needs help. But boy, do they remember every little thing they’ve ever done for other people. They keep a mental tally and aren’t shy about calling in their chips when they need something.
3. They have a PhD in blame-shifting.
Nothing is ever their fault. Bad grade? The teacher had it out for them. Missed deadline? Traffic was a nightmare. They’ve got an excuse for everything, and it always involves pointing the finger at someone or something else. Taking responsibility is like kryptonite to them.
4. Empathy? Never heard of it.
When other people are going through tough times, these people are about as comforting as a cactus. They might make the right noises, but their eyes glaze over if the conversation isn’t about them. Or worse, they’ll find a way to turn your crisis into a story about their own hardships.
5. They’re always keeping score.
Relationships are transactional for them. They remember every favour, every gift, every kind word — not out of gratitude, but to make sure they’re not “losing” in some imaginary game of life. They’re the type to Venmo request you for that $2 coffee you forgot to pay them back for three months ago.
6. Rules are for other people.
Speed limits, quiet hours, “employees must wash hands” signs — these are all just suggestions in their book. They’ll do whatever is convenient for them, regardless of how it affects other people. Cutting in line isn’t rude; it’s efficient (for them, at least).
7. They’ve never met a boundary they didn’t want to cross.
Personal space? Privacy? These concepts don’t compute for them. They’ll ask invasive questions, borrow things without asking, or show up unannounced because their time is obviously more valuable than yours. Your comfort is a small price to pay for their convenience.
8. Ghosting is their preferred communication style.
Source: Unsplash They’re all charm when they want something, but once they’ve got what they need? Poof! They vanish like a magician’s assistant. Unanswered texts, cancelled plans, and radio silence are their specialities. Until, of course, they need something again.
9. They’re allergic to gratitude.
“Thank you” seems to be missing from their vocabulary. They take favours, gifts, and kind gestures as their due. In their mind, the world owes them, so why be grateful? They’re more likely to complain about what they didn’t get than appreciate what they did.
10. Compromise is not in their play book.
It’s their way or the highway. Trying to find a middle ground with them is like negotiating with a brick wall. They see compromise as losing, and they’re not about to let that happen. Your plans, preferences, or needs are just inconvenient obstacles to getting what they want.
11. They’re emotional vampires.
Source: Unsplash Hang out with them, and you’ll feel drained faster than a phone with 100 apps running. They feed off drama and attention, creating crises that everyone else has to deal with. Your emotional energy is just fuel for their never-ending needs.
12. They’ve got a gold medal in humblebragging.
Source: Unsplash “Ugh, I hate how my new car attracts so much attention!” They’ve elevated false modesty to an art form. Every “complaint” is just a thinly veiled boast. They crave admiration but want to appear humble, resulting in some truly cringeworthy statements.
13. They’re surprisingly stingy.
Despite often having the means, they’re mysteriously short on cash when it’s time to chip in. They’ll order the most expensive item on the menu, but conveniently forget their wallet when the bill comes. Generosity is a one-way street that always leads to their pocket.
14. They’re champions of the double standard.
“Do as I say, not as I do” could be their motto. They’ll call you out for being five minutes late but think nothing of making you wait an hour. Rules and courtesies apply to everyone else, but they always have a reason why their case is “different.”
15. They’ve weaponised FOMO.
They use fear of missing out like a pro, making every invitation feel like a test of loyalty. Couldn’t make it to their last-minute plans? Prepare for a guilt trip. They create a sense of obligation around their social life, making people feel bad for having boundaries or other commitments.
16. They’re fair-weather friends.
When life is good and the party’s pumping, they’re front and centre. But when times get tough? They’re nowhere to be found. Your value to them is directly proportional to how much fun or benefit you can provide at any given moment.
17. They’ve got selective hearing.
They only seem to hear things that benefit them. Tell them about a job opportunity they might like, and they’re all ears. Mention that you need help with something? Suddenly, they’ve gone deaf. It’s almost impressive how they filter information to only pick up what serves their interests.
