Narcissists lack the ability and the willingness to be accountable for their own actions.
Everything is always everyone else’s fault, and they’re the innocent victims who’ve once again been hard done by (at least in their own minds). Because of this, don’t be surprised when they point the finger at you and blame you for these things (which, by the way, definitely aren’t your fault).
1. They’ll blame you for their emotional outbursts.
Narcissists aren’t great at regulating their emotions, so when they have an outburst, they might claim you “made” them angry or upset. Remember, you’re not responsible for their emotional reactions. Everyone is in charge of managing their own feelings, regardless of the situation.
2. They’ll hold you accountable for their failures.
When things don’t go their way, narcissists look for a scapegoat. They might blame you for their missed opportunities or failed projects, even if you had nothing to do with them. It’s important to recognise that their lack of success is not your responsibility.
3. They’ll accuse you of being too sensitive when they hurt your feelings.
Narcissists lack empathy and make hurtful comments all the time. When you express that they’ve upset you, they turn it around and accuse you of being overly sensitive. It’s a deflection tactic that serves as a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Convenient, that.
4. They’ll blame you for their bad moods.
If a narcissist is in a foul mood, they claim it’s because of something you did or didn’t do. They say things like, “I wouldn’t be in such a bad mood if you had done what I asked.” The thing is, their mood is their own responsibility, not yours.
5. They’ll hold you responsible for their lack of time management.
Narcissists often struggle with time management but rarely admit it. If they’re late or miss deadlines, they blame you for distracting them or not reminding them. Obviously, they can manage their own schedule and need to. You’re not their personal assistant, after all.
6. They’ll accuse you of being unfaithful or untrustworthy without cause.
Narcissists project their own insecurities onto people, so it makes sense that they would accuse you of cheating or being untrustworthy, even without any evidence. These baseless accusations are more about their own issues than your actions.
7. They’ll blame you for their financial problems.
If a narcissist is struggling financially, they try to pin the blame on you. They accuse you of spending too much or not earning enough, even if their own financial decisions are the real problem. Unless you’re moonlighting as their financial advisor, this is not your responsibility.
8. They’ll hold you responsible for their unhappiness.
Narcissists struggle with internal happiness and try to make other people responsible for their contentment, so of course they claim that you’re the reason they’re unhappy or unfulfilled. The truth, however, is that everyone is responsible for their own happiness.
9. They’ll blame you for their social failures.
If a narcissist struggles in social situations or loses friends, they blame you. They either accuse you of embarrassing them or driving people away. In reality, their own behaviour is likely the cause of their social troubles.
10. They’ll accuse you of not supporting them enough.
Narcissists usually have unrealistic expectations of support from other people because they truly believe they’re the centre of the universe. They accuse you of not being supportive enough, even when you’re doing your best, but it’s not your job to fulfil their every whim and need.
11. They’ll blame you for their poor health choices.
If a narcissist makes unhealthy lifestyle choices, they might try to shift the blame onto you. They could claim that your cooking is making them unhealthy or that stress from your relationship is causing their health issues. Their health choices are ultimately their own responsibility, though.
12. They’ll hold you accountable for their lack of success.
Narcissists often have grandiose ideas about their potential. If they don’t achieve the success they believe they deserve, they blame you for holding them back. They claim that your needs or the relationship are preventing them from reaching their full potential, when really, they’re their own biggest obstacle.
13. They’ll blame you for their inappropriate behaviour.
When narcissists behave inappropriately, they try to shift the blame. They claim that your actions “forced” them to behave badly, or that they wouldn’t have done it if you had acted differently. Nice try!
14. They’ll accuse you of making them look bad in front of other people.
Narcissists are preoccupied with their image, so if hey feel embarrassed or slighted in a social situation, they might blame you, even if you didn’t do anything wrong. They could accuse you of purposely trying to make them look bad or not supporting their narrative.
15. They’ll hold you responsible for their addictive behaviours.
If a narcissist struggles with addiction, they might try to blame you for their habits. They could claim that stress from your relationship drives them to drink or use substances. Obviously, support is important, but ultimately, managing addictive behaviours is their responsibility.
16. They’ll blame you for their decision to end the relationship.
If a narcissist decides to end the relationship, they might try to make it seem like it’s entirely your fault. They claim that your behaviour or shortcomings “forced” them to leave. The thing is, relationship decisions are a shared responsibility, and you’re not solely to blame for a breakup.
17. They’ll accuse you of not understanding them.
Narcissists often feel misunderstood and might blame you for not “getting” them. They accuse you of not trying hard enough to understand their perspective or needs. Yes, mutual understanding is important in relationships, it’s not solely your responsibility to decipher their thoughts and feelings.
