Dealing with someone who always has something snarky to say to and about you is a true test of patience.
It’s hard not to explode and tell them exactly what you think of them, but that likely wouldn’t solve anything, and it would just end up making you look bad. Instead, confront them head-on in a mature way by saying one of these things. It may not lead to any kind of resolution, but calling them on their behaviour will make it clear that you’re not a doormat.
1. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
This puts them on the spot. They’ll either have to explain their dig, making it clear they’re being nasty, or they’ll backtrack. Either way, it calls attention to their behaviour without you seeming aggressive.
2. “That comment wasn’t necessary.”
Short and to the point. You’re letting them know you’ve noticed their dig and you’re not okay with it. It’s a calm way to set a boundary without getting into a big argument.
3. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me like that.”
This is a polite but firm way to stand up for yourself. You’re clearly stating that their behaviour is not acceptable to you, and you’re doing it in a way that’s hard to argue with.
4. “Do you realise how that sounds?”
Sometimes people don’t realise how their words come across. This question gives them a chance to think about what they’ve said and potentially apologise if they didn’t mean to be hurtful.
5. “I’m not sure if you meant that to be hurtful, but it was.”
This response acknowledges that their intention might not have been to hurt you, but it clearly states that regardless of intent, their words had a negative impact. It opens the door for a conversation about how their words affect you.
6. “Let’s change the subject, shall we?”
If you’re not in the mood for confrontation, this is a way to shut down the conversation without directly addressing the dig. It’s a clear signal that you’re not interested in continuing along that line of discussion.
7. “I don’t appreciate comments like that.”
This is a straightforward way to express your displeasure. You’re not attacking them, but you’re making it clear that their behaviour is not okay with you.
8. “Could you please not do that?”
Simple and direct. You’re asking them to stop their behaviour without getting into the specifics of what they said. It’s a good option if you want to address the issue quickly and move on.
9. “That’s an interesting way to see it. I disagree, though.”
This response acknowledges their comment without accepting it. You’re standing your ground and expressing your own opinion without getting defensive or aggressive.
10. “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”
This shows that their comment has thrown you off balance, which might make them realise they’ve crossed a line. It also buys you some time if you need a moment to collect your thoughts.
11. “We’ve talked about this before. Please stop.”
If this is a recurring issue, this response reminds them that it’s an ongoing problem and that you’ve already asked them to stop. It’s a firm way to reinforce your boundaries.
12. “I’m walking away now.”
Sometimes, the best response is to remove yourself from the situation. This statement lets them know why you’re leaving and that their behaviour is the cause.
13. “Can we talk about this privately?”
If you’re in a public setting, this response allows you to address the issue without causing a scene. It also signals that you take the matter seriously enough to want a proper conversation about it.
14. “I know you’re probably joking, but it doesn’t feel good.”
This gives them the benefit of the doubt while still expressing that their words have hurt you. It’s a gentle way to address the issue if you think they might not realise the impact of their words.
15. “I’ve had enough of these comments. They need to stop.”
When you’re really at the end of your rope, this direct statement leaves no room for misinterpretation. You’re clearly stating that the behaviour is unacceptable and needs to end.
16. “Why do you keep saying things like that?”
This question puts the focus back on them and their motivations. It might make them reflect on their behaviour and why they feel the need to make these digs.
17. “I’m not going to engage with this anymore.”
This is a clear statement that you’re done with their behaviour. You’re setting a boundary and letting them know that you won’t be participating in or responding to their digs in the future.