Growing up in a big family is a unique experience that shapes you in ways you might not even realise.
If you’re one of the lucky ones who had to fight for the last slice of pizza, share a bedroom with multiple siblings, or navigate the chaos of family gatherings, you know what I’m talking about. It’s not always easy, but it definitely makes you stronger, more adaptable, and a master of compromise. Here are 17 things that only those who grew up in a big family will truly understand.
1. You never had your own bedroom.
If you grew up in a big family, the concept of personal space was probably a foreign one. You shared a bedroom with at least one sibling, if not more, and the idea of having your own room was a distant dream. You learned to make the most of your little corner of the world, even if it meant getting creative with storage solutions and negotiating for top bunk privileges.
2. Hand-me-downs were a way of life.
When you have a lot of siblings, brand new clothes are a rarity. You got used to wearing your older brothers’ or sisters’ hand-me-downs, even if they were a bit worn or out of style. You learned to be grateful for what you had and not to get too attached to material things. Plus, it made those rare occasions when you did get something new feel all the more special.
3. You had to be quick to get seconds at dinner.
In a big family, meals are a competitive sport. If you wanted a second helping of your favourite dish, you had to be quick and strategic. You learned to pile your plate high the first time around, and to keep a watchful eye on the serving bowls for your chance to swoop in. And if you were too slow, well, you learned to be content with what you had and to negotiate trades with your siblings for their unwanted veggies.
4. Trying to get a word in was a sport.
With so many people vying for attention, it could be hard to make yourself heard in a big family. You had to be assertive and persistent if you wanted to get a word in edgewise. You learned to speak up for yourself and not to be afraid to interrupt if you had something important to say. And if all else failed, you could always resort to the tried-and-true method of the silent treatment until someone noticed you.
5. You never had to worry about being lonely.
One of the best things about growing up in a big family is that you always had built-in playmates and companions. Even if you didn’t always get along, you knew that you had a support system and people who would always have your back. You learned the value of loyalty and the importance of sticking together, even when times were tough.
6. Privacy was a foreign concept.
In a big family, there’s no such thing as privacy. You learned to change clothes quickly and discreetly, and to never leave your diary lying around unless you wanted it to be read by prying eyes. You also learned to be resourceful when it came to finding moments of solitude, whether it was hiding out in the bathroom or climbing a tree in the garden.
7. You had to be creative with gift-giving.
When you have a lot of siblings, birthdays and Christmas can be a financial strain. You learned to be creative with gift-giving, whether it was making homemade presents or pooling your resources with your siblings to get something really special. You also learned the value of thoughtfulness over extravagance, and that sometimes the best gifts are the ones that come from the heart.
8. You’re an expert at conflict resolution.
With so many strong personalities under one roof, conflicts are inevitable in a big family. But you learned from an early age how to mediate disputes and find compromises that work for everyone. You’re a master at reading people’s emotions and knowing when to push and when to back off. These skills have served you well in all areas of your life, from the playground to the boardroom.
9. You have a high tolerance for chaos.
Growing up in a big family, you learned to thrive in the midst of chaos. You’re not fazed by noise, clutter, or last-minute changes of plan. You know how to go with the flow and adapt to whatever life throws your way. This resilience and flexibility has made you a valuable team player and a cool head in a crisis.
10. You’re a master of multitasking.
When you have a lot of siblings, you learn to juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities from an early age. Whether it’s helping with homework, doing chores, or keeping an eye on younger siblings, you know how to prioritise and manage your time effectively. This ability to multitask and stay organised has served you well in your adult life, both personally and professionally.
11. You appreciate the simple things in life.
Growing up in a big family, you couldn’t always have the latest gadgets or brand-name clothes. But you learned to appreciate the simple things in life, like a home-cooked meal, a game of catch in the garden, or a family film night. You know that the most valuable things in life aren’t material possessions, but the people and experiences that make you feel loved and connected.
12. You have an unshakeable sense of loyalty.
In a big family, you learn from an early age that blood is thicker than water. No matter how much you might bicker or fight with your siblings, you know that they will always have your back when it really counts. You have an unshakeable sense of loyalty to your family that extends to your friends and loved ones as well. You know the value of showing up for the people you care about, no matter what.
13. Humour is a survival skill.
In a big family, you learn to find the humour in even the most chaotic and stressful situations. Whether it’s laughing at your dad’s terrible jokes or finding the absurdity in a sibling squabble, you know that humour is a powerful coping mechanism. You’ve developed a sharp wit and a quick tongue that helps you diffuse tension and bring people together.
14. Remembering names is an art form.
When you have a lot of siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, remembering everyone’s name can be a challenge. You’ve learned to master the art of the subtle inquiry, the quick glance at the family tree, or the strategic use of nicknames. You know that getting someone’s name right is a sign of respect and connection, and you go out of your way to make everyone feel seen and valued.
15. Patience is a virtue.
Growing up in a big family, you learned the value of patience from an early age. Whether it was waiting your turn for the bathroom, the telephone, or the family computer, you knew that good things come to those who wait. You also learned to be patient with your siblings’ quirks and shortcomings, knowing that everyone is doing their best with what they have. This patience and empathy has made you a better friend, partner, and colleague.
16. Alone time is a rare and precious commodity.
Source: Unsplash In a big family, alone time is a rare and precious commodity. You learned to cherish those moments of solitude and quiet, whether it was taking a long bath, going for a solo walk, or just hiding out in your room with a good book. You know that taking time for yourself is essential for your mental health and well-being, and you make it a priority even in your busy adult life.
17. A full heart is the best feeling in the world.
Growing up in a big family, you learned that love isn’t a finite resource, but an endless well that only grows deeper with time. No matter how much you might fight or get on each other’s nerves, you know that your family will always be there for you, cheering you on and picking you up when you fall. You’ve learned that a full heart is the best feeling in the world, and that the bonds of family are the strongest and most enduring of all.
