Some people are really good at presenting a version of themselves that’s nothing close to the truth.
Everyone wants to make a good impression, but if someone is being inauthentic to do so, that’s a red flag. If you want to know what they’re really like under all the false pretences, here are some ways to delve into the nitty-gritty of their character.
1. How they treat service staff speaks volumes.
Watch how someone interacts with waiters, cashiers, or cleaners. Are they polite and respectful, or dismissive and rude? This can be a major tell about their empathy levels and how they see other people. If they’re nasty to the waiter, it’s a red flag that they might not be so nice when the chips are down.
2. Their reaction to minor inconveniences is quite revealing.
Does a slight delay or a small mistake send them into a rage? Or do they take it in stride? How someone handles life’s little hiccups can show you a lot about their patience and emotional stability. If they flip out over a wrong coffee order, imagine how they’d handle real problems!
3. The way they talk about their exes can be eye-opening.
Listen closely when someone discusses their past relationships. Are they respectful and balanced, or do they paint themselves as the perpetual victim? If every ex is a “crazy psycho,” it might be time to wonder if they’re the common denominator in all that drama.
4. Their behaviour when no one’s watching is telling.
Ever caught someone thinking they’re alone? That’s when the real them comes out. Do they litter when they think no one’s looking? Or do they still hold the door even if there’s no audience? These moments of perceived privacy often reveal a person’s true colours.
5. How they handle being wrong says a lot.
Can they admit when they’re mistaken, or do they double down and get defensive? A person who can gracefully acknowledge their errors shows maturity and humility. But if they’d rather die on every hill than admit they’re wrong, that’s a sign of some serious ego issues.
6. The way they treat animals can be quite revealing.
Are they kind to animals, or do they show indifference or even cruelty? This can be a big indicator of their capacity for empathy and care. Someone who’s gentle with animals often has a softer, more compassionate side. But if they’re mean to furry friends, watch out!
7. Their reaction to someone else’s success speaks volumes.
Are they genuinely pleased about other people’s good news, or do they get jealous and try to downplay it? A person who can be happy for people shows security and generosity of spirit. But if they’re always trying to rain on everyone else’s parade, it might be because they’re not too happy with themselves.
8. How they handle stress can be quite telling.
Do they keep their cool under pressure, or do they crumble and lash out? Stress has a way of bringing out our true selves. If someone can stay level-headed when things get tough, that’s a good sign. But if they turn into a hot mess at the first sign of trouble, it might be time to reconsider how reliable they really are.
9. The way they talk about people who aren’t present reveals a lot.
Are they kind and respectful when discussing other people, or are they pros in gossip and backstabbing? This can show you their loyalty and integrity. If they’re always chatting rubbish about people behind their backs, chances are they’re doing the same to you when you’re not around.
10. Their punctuality (or lack thereof) is quite revealing.
Are they consistently on time, or always running late? This can indicate their respect for other people and their ability to manage their life. Someone who’s always late isn’t just bad at timekeeping — they’re essentially saying their time is more valuable than yours. Not cool!
11. How they handle money can be eye-opening.
Source: Unsplash Are they generous or stingy? Responsible or reckless? Their relationship with money can reveal a lot about their values and self-control. If they’re always “forgetting” their wallet or splurging on unnecessary stuff, it might be a sign of deeper issues with responsibility and impulse control.
12. The way they use social media is quite telling.
Do they overshare, humblebrag, or engage in online arguments? Their digital behaviour can be a window into their personality and maturity level. If their feed is full of drama and attention-seeking posts, it’s probably a good indication of what they’re like in real life, too.
13. Their sense of humour reveals a lot about them.
What makes them laugh? Are their jokes kind-hearted or mean-spirited? A person’s sense of humour can tell you a lot about their outlook on life and their empathy levels. If they’re always laughing at other people’s expense, it might be time to question their kindness.
14. How they handle apologies speaks volumes.
Can they genuinely apologise when they’ve messed up, or do they offer non-apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way”? The ability to take responsibility and make amends shows maturity and empathy. If they can’t say sorry without making excuses, that’s a red flag for sure.
15. Their behaviour in group settings can be quite revealing.
Do they dominate conversations or listen attentively? Are they inclusive or cliquey? How someone acts in a group can show you their social skills and consideration for other people. If they’re always hogging the spotlight or excluding people, it might be a sign of some not-so-great personality traits.
16. The way they talk about their family says a lot.
Are they respectful and understanding, or constantly complaining and blaming? While family relationships can be complex, how someone speaks about their relatives can reveal their capacity for forgiveness and their ability to see different perspectives. If they’re always playing the victim in family dramas, it might be worth wondering why.
17. How they handle power or authority is telling.
Do they become arrogant and controlling when given power, or do they remain humble and fair? This can reveal a lot about their character and values. If a little bit of authority goes straight to their head, imagine how they’d behave with real power. Yikes!
18. Their attitude towards learning and growth can be eye-opening.
Are they open to new ideas and willing to learn, or are they set in their ways? A person’s attitude towards personal growth and learning can tell you a lot about their mindset and adaptability. If they think they already know everything, it’s probably a sign that they’ve got a lot to learn — about themselves and about life in general.
