18 Easy Mistakes You're Making That Come Across As Desperate And Overeager

Javier Sánchez Mingorance

We’ve all experienced that eagerness to connect with someone, to make a good impression, and to find a spark.

However, sometimes in all that enthusiasm, we might accidentally cross the line into “overeager” territory. It’s like trying to bake a cake at 500 degrees: too much heat, and things can get a little… intense. If you’re worried you might be coming on a little too strong, try not to worry too much about it. It happens to the best of us. However, you should be aware of these questionable behaviours and maybe pare back on them a bit.

1. You text them constantly throughout the day.

While staying in touch is important, bombarding someone with texts can be overwhelming. It can make you seem overly invested or even clingy. Try spacing out your messages and giving them time to respond before sending another one. Remember, a little mystery can be alluring.

2. You always agree with everything they say.

It’s great to find common ground, but always agreeing with someone can make you seem like a pushover or lacking in your own opinions. Don’t be afraid to respectfully disagree or offer a different perspective. A healthy dose of debate can be stimulating and show that you have your own thoughts.

3. You’re always available at the drop of a hat.

Being flexible is good, but being too available can make you seem like you have nothing else going on in your life. It’s important to maintain your own interests and commitments. Don’t always be the first one to suggest plans or drop everything to accommodate theirs.

4. You shower them with excessive compliments.

Genuine compliments are wonderful, but overdoing it can feel insincere or even creepy. Focus on specific, thoughtful compliments rather than generic praise. Remember, a little goes a long way.

5. You overshare personal details too soon.

Opening up is important for building intimacy, but revealing too much too soon can be a red flag. It can make you seem overly eager or even unstable. Take your time getting to know each other and gradually share more personal information as trust builds.

6. You constantly bring up the future.

Talking about future plans, like vacations or moving in together, when you’ve just started dating can be a major turn-off, It can make you seem overly invested or even desperate for commitment. Focus on enjoying the present moment and let the relationship develop naturally.

7. You get jealous easily.

A little jealousy is natural, but if you’re constantly questioning their conversations with other people or trying to control their behaviour, it’s a sign you’re coming on too strong. Trust is essential in any relationship, and jealousy can extinguish that trust quickly. Focus on building a strong foundation of trust and security before letting your insecurities take over.

8. You try to change yourself to please them.

It’s tempting to try to mould yourself into the person you think they want, but that’s not a sustainable way to build a connection. Be yourself and let them get to know the real you. If they don’t appreciate you for who you are, then they’re not the right person for you.

9. You fish for compliments and reassurance.

While it’s natural to want validation, constantly fishing for compliments can come across as insecure and needy. Trust in your own worth and let compliments come naturally rather than fishing for them.

10. You talk about them incessantly to your friends.

It’s exciting to share your feelings with friends, but if you’re constantly gushing about this person, it can be a turn-off. It can make you seem overly fixated and less interesting as an individual. Remember, you have a whole life outside of this budding connection.

11. You drop everything for them.

While spontaneity can be fun, constantly rearranging your schedule to accommodate them can send the wrong message. It might seem like you don’t value your own time or have other priorities. Maintain your own schedule and hobbies; a healthy balance is key.

12. You try to speed up the getting-to-know-you phase.

Rushing into deep conversations or trying to force intimacy can be overwhelming. Let the relationship unfold naturally. Enjoy the process of getting to know each other at a comfortable pace.

13. You overanalyze their every move.

male and female colleague chatting at cafe — Unsplash

Reading into every text message or social media interaction can drive you crazy and lead to unnecessary anxiety. Not every emoji or comment has a hidden meaning. Relax, trust your gut, and give them the benefit of the doubt.

14. You compare yourself to their past partners.

Comparing yourself to someone’s exes is a recipe for insecurity and self-doubt. It’s important to remember that you’re unique and have your own special qualities to offer. Focus on building your own connection with them, rather than dwelling on their past relationships.

15. You try to make them jealous.

Playing games or trying to make someone jealous is a manipulative tactic that can backfire. It’s a sign of insecurity and can create unnecessary drama. Focus on building a genuine connection based on trust and honesty, rather than resorting to petty tactics.

16. You constantly check up on them.

Constantly asking where they are, who they’re with, or what they’re doing can be suffocating. Trust is essential in any relationship, and constantly checking up on someone can signal a lack of trust. Give them space and allow them to live their own lives.

17. You try to control who they talk to/hang out with.

Trying to dictate who they can and can’t talk to or be friends with is a major red flag. It’s controlling and shows a lack of respect for their autonomy. Remember, everyone has the right to choose their own friends and social circles.

18. You put your own needs and desires on the back burner.

While compromise is important in any relationship, neglecting your own needs and desires to please someone else is a recipe for resentment and burnout. It’s important to maintain your own identity and prioritize your own well-being. A healthy relationship involves a balance of give and take.