We live in an era of radical transparency, where people blast their most intimate details across the internet for the world to see.
However, just because you can share something doesn’t mean you should. Keeping certain things private isn’t about being fake or having something to hide — it’s a matter of discretion, intelligence, and self-protection. Here are 18 things you’re better off keeping to yourself for your own peace of mind. People don’t need to know everything about you!
1. Your deepest insecurities and fears
We all have dark thoughts and nagging self-doubts that keep us up at night. And while being vulnerable with loved ones can be cathartic, spilling your deepest insecurities to anyone who will listen is a recipe for rumination and self-sabotage. When you put your darkest fears on blast, you risk giving them more power and inviting unsolicited opinions that may only amplify your anxiety. Share selectively with trustworthy confidantes who can offer balanced perspective and support.
2. The details of your intimate life
Source: Unsplash Your intimate life with your partner should stay between the two of you. It’s not a juicy story to entertain your friends with or content for your public social media musings. Divulging the private details of your encounters, your partner’s body, their desires and insecurities, or your challenges in the bedroom is a violation of their trust and your relationship. Keep that sacredness and mystery alive by keeping the details of your love life on lock.
3. Your family drama and childhood trauma
Just because someone asks about your family doesn’t mean you owe them your whole life story, especially if it’s full of painful chapters you’re still processing. Childhood wounds and family conflicts are heavy, sensitive topics that should only be unpacked in safe, supportive spaces with people you wholeheartedly trust — like a best friend, therapist or partner. You don’t need to satisfy other people’s curiosity at the expense of reopening old scars.
4. Your uncensored political and religious views
Source: Unsplash In these polarised times, broadcasting your unfiltered opinions on the hot button political and religious issues of the day is an easy way to start a firestorm and damage relationships. You’re entitled to your views, but that doesn’t mean you need to share them with everybody. Discretion is key, especially in professional contexts. Think critically about your audience and the potential fallout before wading into a controversial public debate or putting a provocative bumper sticker on your car.
5. Your income, debt and detailed financial status
How much money you make, what you owe, and the nitty-gritty of your saving and spending is sensitive information best kept close to the vest. Frequently disclosing your income can breed resentment and unrealistic expectations in your relationships. Revealing the dirty details of your debts and budgeting woes to the wrong people can make you vulnerable to judgment and unsolicited advice. Stay prudent about who you let under the hood of your financial life.
6. Uncharitable thoughts and gossip about people
Source: Unsplash A stray critical thought about a colleague or a bit of hot gossip about an acquaintance may be titillating in the moment, but voicing those rude thoughts can come back to bite you. You never know who is in earshot or how quickly rumours can spread. Even if you trust your confidante, speaking negatively about people when they’re not around to defend themselves is unkind and unwise. Take the high road and keep your judgmental observations to yourself.
7. Complaints about your partner and relationship problems
It’s normal to need to occasionally vent about your relationship challenges and your partner’s annoying habits. But save those gripes for your therapist’s couch or a few trusted, impartial friends. Frequently badmouthing your partner to your family, colleagues, or mutual pals can unfairly taint their opinion of them and strain your relationship. If you’re going through a rough patch, resist the urge to over-divulge and assassinate their character to the whole world.
8. The fact that you’re job hunting
When you’re ready to make a career move, keep your search on the DL until you’ve landed a new gig and handed in your notice. Broadcasting that you’re exploring other options can jeopardise your current role and change the way you’re seen at work (and not in a good way). Loose lips can also lead to awkward situations if a prospective employer reaches out to your boss for a reference before you’ve disclosed your intentions. Play your cards close.
9. Past (and current) romantic encounters
The ghosts of relationships past (and present) should stay firmly in the vault, not become fodder for public speculation and scrutiny. When you start a new relationship, your partner doesn’t need to know the details of every romantic tryst that came before them. And if you’re seeing multiple people, each relationship deserves discretion and privacy. A gentleman (or gentlewoman) never kisses and tells.
10. Other people’s secrets shared in confidence
Source: Unsplash When someone trusts you enough to divulge a sensitive personal matter, that privilege comes with the responsibility of keeping your mouth zipped. It’s not your story to share, no matter how juicy or scandalous. Spilling a friend’s secret for your own social capital and excitement is a massive betrayal that can obliterate trust instantly. Lock it down and throw away the key, even if you’re bursting at the seams to talk about it.
11. Ill-advised late night purchases and spending splurges
We all have our vices and retail therapy moments, but advertising your reckless impulse buys and shopping sprees only invites judgment and unsolicited financial advice you don’t need. Flashing your latest extravagant purchase on the ‘Gram may give you a momentary dopamine hit, but you might regret it when that credit card bill comes due and your budget is in tatters. If you’re prone to stress spending, keep those indulgences under wraps.
12. Your every whereabouts and daily schedule
Given that everyone is driven to compulsively share their day-to-day lives down to what they ate for lunch, a little mystery and privacy is refreshing. You don’t need to announce to the world your exact coordinates at all times or give a play-by-play of your daily schedule. Keeping your whereabouts and routine low-key doesn’t just preserve your mystique — it’s also a safety issue. Be judicious about the real-time information you put out there.
13. Unsavoury (but temporary) habits you’re not proud of
We all go through rough patches where we cope through less-than-ideal means, whether it’s drinking a bit too much, eating our feelings, or slacking on our responsibilities. While you shouldn’t feel ashamed for being human, advertising these behaviours in the midst of your struggle can make temporary setbacks seem like permanent character flaws. Focus on getting back on track, not seeking commiseration or normalising what you know is holding you back.
14. Embellished tales of your accomplishments and abilities
A little strategic self-promotion is savvy, but there’s a fine line between putting your best foot forward and being a braggart who exaggerates their achievements for clout. If you have to puff yourself up and stretch the truth to impress people, you’ll live in fear of being exposed as a fraud. Let your actual abilities and accomplishments speak for themselves. Honesty and humility are a much better long game than BS.
15. Sensitive information shared by your boss/company
Blabbing in the workplace can cost you more than just social capital — it can put your whole livelihood at risk. If you’re privy to confidential intel, trade secrets, or sensitive details about your company’s inner workings and challenges, keep that information locked up tighter than the Crown Jewels. Resist the urge to whisper at the water cooler or humblebrag about being “in the know.” Breaching your employer’s trust is never worth the ego stroke. In fact, it could leave you on the dole!
16. Your passwords and sensitive online data
Source: Unsplash You’d think this would go without saying in this day and age, but it’s worth repeating — your passwords, financial info, and sensitive online data should be guarded like a state secret. Don’t leave a trail of clues a hacker could use to crack into your accounts by reflecting your pet’s name or your wedding anniversary. Enable two-factor authentication. Never give your login deets to a romantic partner. Be careful on public Wi-Fi, too. Lock it down.
17. Unverified rumours and unsubstantiated claims
In the age of viral misinformation, taking an unverified rumour or piece of salacious gossip and running with it is not just unwise — it’s flat-out irresponsible. Before you hit share or repeat a shocking claim you’ve heard through the grapevine, take a minute to verify it against credible sources. If you can’t find any solid substantiation, keep it to yourself. Better to stay silent than spread a false story you might regret.
18. Your every thought and reaction
Some people feel like have to share every musing and knee-jerk reaction to get noticed. However, constantly externalising your stream of consciousness for validation can disconnect you from who you really are. Keep some thoughts and ideas just for you. Resist the urge to perform your life for the peanut gallery. By opting for discretion with your own mind, you create space for more clarity and creativity that’s truly your own.
