There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ marriage, but many of us still have a picture of what it looks like in our head.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need grandiose romantic gestures or to be head over heels every second of every day to have a happy, fulfilling marriage that stands the test of time. In fact, you don’t need any of these things to be happy with your spouse.
1. You don’t need constant grand gestures.
Sure, romantic surprises and extravagant gifts are lovely, but they’re not the foundation of a lasting relationship. It’s the small, everyday acts of kindness and consideration that truly matter. A cup of tea in the morning, a listening ear after a tough day, or a simple “I love you” can go a long way in nurturing a strong connection.
2. You don’t need to agree on everything.
Having different opinions and interests is perfectly normal, and it can even add spice to a relationship. Embrace your individuality and respect your partner’s differences. Healthy debates and compromises can lead to growth and understanding, making your bond even stronger.
3. You don’t need a picture-perfect life.
Social media often paints an unrealistic picture of perfection. Don’t compare your marriage to the carefully curated ones you see on social media. Every couple faces challenges and has their own unique journey. Focus on building a life that’s authentic and fulfilling for you and your partner, even if it doesn’t fit the Instagram aesthetic.
4. You don’t need to spend every waking moment together.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. Having your own interests, hobbies, and social circles is healthy and can enrich your relationship. Spending time apart allows you to grow as individuals and brings fresh energy and excitement when you reconnect.
5. You don’t need to keep score.
Love isn’t a competition. Keeping track of who does more chores, who initiated the last date, or who said “I love you” first is a recipe for resentment. Focus on contributing to the relationship as a team, and appreciate each other’s efforts without keeping a tally.
6. You don’t need to be the same person.
Your partner is not an extension of yourself. Embrace their unique personality, quirks, and interests, even if they differ from your own. Celebrate your differences and learn from each other. A diverse and dynamic partnership can be incredibly enriching.
7. You don’t need to hide your flaws.
Nobody’s perfect, and trying to maintain a facade of flawlessness can be exhausting. Embrace your imperfections and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. True intimacy comes from accepting each other, flaws and all.
8. You don’t need to have all the answers.
Source: Unsplash Life is full of uncertainties, and it’s okay to not have all the answers. Be willing to navigate the unknowns together, support each other through challenges, and learn and grow as a couple. It’s the journey, not the destination, that truly matters.
9. You don’t need to avoid fighting or disagreeing at all costs.
Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. Avoiding conflict altogether can lead to resentment and unresolved issues. Learn to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, even when it’s uncomfortable. Healthy conflict resolution can strengthen your bond and lead to deeper understanding.
10. You don’t need to have the same love language.
Everyone expresses and receives love differently. Don’t expect your partner to show love in the same way you do. Learn each other’s love languages and make an effort to express your affection in ways that resonate with them. This creates a deeper sense of connection and understanding.
11. You don’t need to share every single thought or feeling.
While open communication is important, it’s also okay to have your own private thoughts and feelings. You don’t need to share every single detail of your life with your partner. Maintaining a healthy sense of individuality and personal space is important for a balanced relationship.
12. You don’t need to have a perfect intimate life.
Physical intimacy is an important part of many relationships, but it’s not the only factor that determines happiness. Intimacy comes in many forms, and it’s okay if your intimate life ebbs and flows over time. Focus on open communication, mutual respect, and exploring different ways to connect with your partner, both physically and emotionally.
13. You don’t need to have children to have a fulfilling marriage.
The decision to have children is a deeply personal one, and it’s not a prerequisite for a happy and healthy marriage. Many couples find joy and fulfilment in pursuing other passions, travelling, or simply enjoying each other’s company. Don’t let societal pressures dictate your choices.
14. You don’t need to have a lavish wedding.
A wedding is a celebration of love, but it doesn’t have to be a grand and expensive affair. Focus on creating a meaningful and memorable experience that reflects your values and personalities as a couple. It’s the commitment you make to each other, not the size of the wedding, that truly matters.
15. You don’t need to change who you are to please your partner.
A healthy relationship allows both partners to be their authentic selves. Don’t try to mould yourself into someone you’re not just to please your partner. Embrace your individuality and celebrate your unique qualities. A loving partner will appreciate you for who you are.
16. You don’t need to have a spotless house.
While a clean and organised living space can be enjoyable, it’s not a requirement for a happy marriage. Don’t let housework become a source of stress or conflict. Focus on creating a comfortable and welcoming home where you can both relax and be yourselves.
17. You don’t need to have the same career goals.
Supporting each other’s career aspirations is important, but it’s okay if you have different paths and ambitions. Celebrate each other’s successes and encourage each other’s growth, even if your career trajectories differ. A healthy marriage allows for individual pursuits and mutual support.
18. You don’t need to be perfect.
Striving for perfection in any aspect of life, including marriage, is unrealistic and unsustainable. Embrace the imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and focus on growing together as a couple. It’s the willingness to learn, adapt, and support each other through life’s ups and downs that truly makes a marriage happy and healthy.
