By Marriage is about sharing, but that doesn’t mean spilling every little detail.
Sometimes, keeping a few things to yourself is totally fine. In fact, you have the right to privacy in your relationship, and exercising that right can be healthy and actually make your relationship stronger. Here are some things that you’re fine to keep to yourself.
1. The exact cost of your latest shopping spree
Look, we all love a good retail therapy session now and then, but does your hubby really need to know the precise damage to your bank account? As long as you’re not breaking the bank or hiding serious financial issues, it’s okay to keep the exact figures to yourself. Maybe that new dress was on sale, or maybe it wasn’t — some mysteries are best left unsolved, right?
2. Every little detail about your past relationships
Your past is your past, and while honesty is important, you don’t need to give a blow-by-blow account of every ex. As long as there’s nothing that directly impacts your current relationship, feel free to keep the nitty-gritty details of past romances to yourself. Your husband probably doesn’t want to know anyway!
3. The white lies you tell to avoid hurting his feelings
Sometimes, a little white lie is the kindest option. If he asks if his new haircut looks good, and you’re not a fan, it’s okay to fib a bit. It’s like when your gran gives you an ugly jumper — you smile and say thanks. These small mercies keep the peace and don’t really hurt anyone. Just don’t make a habit of it, or you’ll end up with a wardrobe full of ugly jumpers!
4. Your occasional doubts or fleeting negative thoughts about the relationship
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s normal to have moments of doubt. But sharing every fleeting negative thought isn’t always helpful. As long as these thoughts aren’t persistent or serious, it’s okay to work through them on your own or with a friend.
5. The full extent of your beauty or grooming routines
Whether it’s your monthly battle with unwanted hair or your complex skincare routine, you don’t need to share every detail. It’s like how magicians don’t reveal their tricks — a little mystery keeps the magic alive. Plus, he probably doesn’t want to know about your nose hair trimming technique anyway!
6. Every conversation you have with your friends
Your chats with your mates are your business. You don’t need to give him a full transcript of every gossip session or girls’ night out. As long as you’re not talking about anything that would hurt your relationship, feel free to keep those convos to yourself.
7. Your occasional fantasies about other people
We’re all human, and it’s normal to have the odd daydream about that fit celebrity or charming coworker. As long as it stays firmly in fantasy land and doesn’t affect your relationship, there’s no need to spill the beans.
8. The little things about him that occasionally annoy you
Every quirk that you once found adorable can sometimes grate on your nerves. His loud chewing or the way he leaves wet towels on the bed might drive you up the wall, but you don’t always need to voice it.
9. Your private health concerns that don’t affect him
If you’re worried about a weird mole or considering changing your birth control, you don’t necessarily need to share every detail. As long as it’s not something serious that could impact your life together, it’s okay to keep some health matters private. There are some things you can (and would rather) handle on your own.
10. The fact that you sometimes check his phone or social media
We’ve all been there — curiosity gets the better of us, and we have a little snoop. As long as it’s not a habit, and you’re not invading his privacy regularly, there’s no need to confess to every time you’ve peeked at his messages. It’s not great, of course, but it’s not the end of the world if it’s a once-off.
11. Your occasional comparisons of your relationship to other people’s
It’s natural to sometimes wonder how your relationship stacks up against others, but voicing these comparisons can be hurtful. Whether you’re envying your friend’s romantic husband or feeling smug about your superior cooking skills, keep these thoughts to yourself.
12. The full extent of what you spend on gifts for him
When it comes to pressies, sometimes ignorance is bliss. Whether you’ve splashed out or found a bargain, the cost doesn’t matter as much as the thought. Let him enjoy the gift without worrying about the price tag.
13. Your occasional doubts about big decisions you’ve made together
Sometimes after making a big decision together, like buying a house or choosing a school for the kids, you might have moments of “Did we do the right thing?” Unless these doubts are serious or persistent, it’s okay to work through them on your own.
14. The little white lies you tell to your family to keep the peace
Family dynamics can be tricky, and sometimes a little fib is necessary to avoid drama. If you tell your mum you’re busy when you’re actually having a lazy day at home, or say you loved her awful casserole, you don’t need to confess these to your husband.
15. Your private fantasies or dreams that don’t involve him
We all have our own inner worlds, and that’s okay. Whether you’re daydreaming about winning the lottery or fantasising about living in a cottage by the sea, you don’t need to share every flight of fancy.
16. The times when you’ve bent the truth to make him feel better
If you’ve ever exaggerated how good his cooking was or how interesting you found his work story, don’t worry about confessing. These little boosts to his ego are harmless and kind. He’s probably done the same plenty of times!
17. Your occasional desire for alone time or space
It’s normal to sometimes crave solitude, even in the happiest of relationships. You don’t need to tell him every time you wish you had the house to yourself or dream of a solo holiday. As long as you’re not constantly avoiding him, it’s healthy to have these feelings.
18. The full extent of your insecurities or self-doubts
While it’s good to be open about your feelings, you don’t need to voice every fleeting insecurity. If you’re feeling a bit rubbish about your appearance or doubting your abilities at work, it’s okay to work through some of these feelings on your own.
