Some people have an uncanny ability to get what they want, often at other people’s expense.
They might be charming, charismatic, and seemingly helpful, but there’s a darker side to their personality that’s not always easy to spot. That’s why it’s important to be able to spot and identify the most common traits, so you can see those red flags waving from a mile away.
1. They’re masters of charm and charisma.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators often exude charm and charisma, making them appear trustworthy and likeable. They know how to make people feel special and important, which helps them gain trust and influence. This charm, however, is often a façade, masking their true intentions.
2. They play the victim.
Manipulators love to play the victim, painting themselves as innocent and helpless. They use this tactic to garner sympathy and deflect blame. They might exaggerate their problems or make up stories to gain your support and loyalty. Don’t be fooled by their crocodile tears!
3. They use guilt trips to get their way.
Guilt is a powerful emotion, and manipulators know how to exploit it. They’ll make you feel guilty for not doing what they want, even if it’s unreasonable or harmful to you. They might use phrases like “If you really loved me, you would…” or “I’m so disappointed in you.” Don’t fall for their emotional blackmail.
4. They twist your words and actions.
Manipulators are experts at twisting your words and actions to fit their narrative. They’ll take something you said out of context or misinterpret your intentions to make you look bad. This tactic is designed to make you doubt yourself and your judgment, making you more susceptible to their influence.
5. They’re always right (or so they think).
Manipulators have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe their opinions are always correct. They’ll dismiss your ideas and opinions, making you feel insignificant and inferior. This tactic is designed to undermine your confidence and make you more reliant on them.
6. They love to gaslight you.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that involves making someone question their sanity or reality. Manipulators might deny things they said or did, blame you for their mistakes, or make you feel like you’re imagining things. This tactic is designed to make you doubt yourself and your perception of events.
7. They’re passive-aggressive.
Manipulators often resort to passive-aggressive tactics to get what they want. They might give you the silent treatment, make sarcastic remarks, or undermine you behind your back. This behaviour is designed to make you feel uncomfortable and off-balance, making you more likely to give in to their demands.
8. They use flattery and compliments to manipulate you.
Manipulators know how to stroke your ego with flattery and compliments. They’ll shower you with praise and make you feel special, but their motives aren’t always pure. This tactic is designed to lower your guard and make you more susceptible to their influence. Don’t let their sweet talk fool you!
9. They play mind games.
Manipulators love to play mind games to keep you off balance and under their control. They might give you mixed signals, create drama, or deliberately withhold information. These games are designed to make you feel insecure and unsure of yourself, making you more reliant on them for validation and guidance.
10. They isolate you from your friends and family.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators often try to isolate you from your support network of friends and family. They always have something negative to say about your family and friends, make it difficult for you to see them, or even try to turn them against you. This tactic is designed to make you more dependent on them and less likely to ask for help or advice from other people.
11. They’re masters of projection.
Source: Unsplash Projection is a defence mechanism where people attribute their own negative traits or behaviours to other people. Manipulators often use projection to deflect blame and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They might accuse you of being selfish, manipulative, or crazy, even if it’s actually them who are exhibiting those behaviours.
12. They use your insecurities against you.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators are skilled at identifying your weaknesses and insecurities. They’ll use this knowledge to their advantage, exploiting your vulnerabilities to get what they want. They might make you feel inadequate, insecure, or unworthy, making you more likely to give in to their demands.
13. They’re experts at deflecting blame.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators rarely take responsibility for their actions. They’ll blame other people, external circumstances, or even you for their mistakes and shortcomings. This tactic is designed to avoid accountability and maintain their image of superiority.
14. They make empty promises.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators are notorious for making promises they never intend to keep. They’ll dangle the carrot of future rewards or improvements, but their words rarely translate into action. This tactic is designed to keep you hopeful and invested in the relationship, even when they’re not reciprocating.
15. They create a sense of urgency.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators often create a sense of urgency to pressure you into making decisions or taking actions that benefit them. They might use phrases like “It’s now or never” or “This is your last chance.” This tactic is designed to bypass your rational thinking and force you to act impulsively, without considering the consequences.
16. They lack empathy and remorse.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators often have a limited capacity for empathy and remorse. They might not understand or care about how their actions affect people. This lack of empathy allows them to exploit and manipulate people without feeling guilty or remorseful.
17. They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Source: Unsplash Manipulators create an environment of fear and uncertainty. You never know what to expect from them, so you’re constantly on edge, trying to avoid triggering their anger or displeasure. This feeling of walking on eggshells is a sign that you’re being manipulated.
18. They never apologise (sincerely).
Manipulators might offer a fake apology to avoid conflict or appease you, but they rarely mean it. Their apologies often come with excuses, justifications, or even blame-shifting. A sincere apology involves taking responsibility for one’s actions and expressing remorse, something manipulators are often incapable of doing.
