Narcissists seem bizarrely good at choosing the perfect victims to manipulate, and that’s not an accident.
These manipulative people are actually incredibly selective when it comes to picking their ideal partner. They want someone who will be easy to control and bend to their will, so they’re always looking for certain traits and personality types to exploit.
1. They look for empaths.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are drawn to empathetic people because these caring souls are more likely to excuse bad behaviour and try to understand the narcissist’s perspective. They see these people as a bottomless well of compassion they can tap into whenever they need it.
2. They choose people with low self-esteem.
Someone with shaky self-worth is easier to manipulate and control. Narcissists can boost their own ego by putting down their partner, and the partner is more likely to believe it. It’s a twisted way of ensuring they always feel superior.
3. They’re attracted to success and status.
Narcissists often go for partners who have achievements or status they can brag about. It’s like finding a trophy they can show off to make themselves look good. The partner’s success becomes a reflection of their own greatness, despite the fact that none of these accomplishments have anything to do with the narcissist.
4. They look for people-pleasers.
Someone who’s always trying to make other people happy is perfect for a narcissist. These partners will bend over backwards to keep the narcissist content, often at the expense of their own needs. As a result, the narcissist always gets what they want without complaint.
5. They’re drawn to nurturers.
Narcissists love partners with a strong nurturing instinct, largely because these people will take care of the narcissist’s every need, often neglecting their own in the process. They’re basically looking for a replacement parent who will sacrifice everything for the narcissist’s whims.
6. They seek out those with a history of trauma.
People with past trauma often have skewed ideas of what love looks like. Narcissists can exploit this, making their partner believe that their toxic behaviour is normal or even loving. It’s a way of ensuring their bad treatment goes unchallenged.
7. They’re attracted to beauty or youth.
Many narcissists go for partners who are physically attractive or much younger. It’s another status symbol they can show off to boost their own ego. Plus, younger partners might be easier to mould and control.
8. They look for independent people.
Surprisingly, narcissists often like partners who are self-sufficient. It means less responsibility for the narcissist and someone who won’t be too clingy. They want attention on their terms, not constant neediness.
9. They seek out optimists.
An optimistic partner will always try to see the best in the narcissist. They’ll make excuses for bad behaviour and hold on to hope that things will improve. It’s like having a cheerleader who never loses faith, no matter how badly they’re treated.
10. They’re drawn to fixers.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists love partners who have a strong desire to “fix” people. These people will see the narcissist’s flaws as challenges to overcome, not reasons to leave. It keeps the partner invested and trying harder, no matter how futile it may be.
11. They look for those with a strong sense of loyalty.
Source: Unsplash A loyal partner will stick around through thick and thin. Narcissists exploit this trait, knowing they can push boundaries and still have their partner by their side. It’s basically a guarantee that their bad behaviour won’t have consequences.
12. They want people in vulnerable positions.
Source: Unsplash Someone going through a tough time or major life change is an easy target. The narcissist can swoop in as the “saviour” and create a sense of dependency. It’s a way of ensuring the partner feels indebted to them.
13. They’re attracted to those with poor boundaries.
Source: Unsplash A partner who struggles to set and maintain boundaries is ideal for a narcissist. They can push limits and invade personal space without much resistance. In other words, they get free rein to do whatever they want.
14. They look for those who are easily impressed.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists love partners who are easily wowed by their stories or achievements. It feeds their need for constant admiration. These partners provide an endless source of ego boosts and validation, which is exactly what they’re after.
15. They seek out those with a fear of being alone.
Source: Unsplash Someone who’s terrified of being single is less likely to leave, no matter how bad things get. Narcissists take advantage of this fear, knowing their partner will put up with a lot to avoid being alone.
16. They’re drawn to people with a strong desire for approval.
Source: Unsplash Partners who crave approval will work hard to please the narcissist. They’ll change themselves and their behaviour to win the narcissist’s favour. As a result, the narcissist has a constant source of validation and ego stroking.
17. They look for people who are conflict-avoidant.
Source: Unsplash A partner who hates confrontation won’t challenge the narcissist’s behaviour. They’ll suffer in silence rather than risk an argument, which then allows the narcissist to continue their toxic behaviour unchecked.
18. They seek out those who believe in “soulmates” or “perfect love”.
Source: Unsplash Someone with idealized notions of love is more likely to overlook red flags. They’ll cling to the idea that their love can conquer all, even in the face of clear problems. It’s a way for the narcissist to keep their partner hooked on false hope.
