20 Seemingly Minor Habits That Are Making You Miserable

If you’re constantly feeling a bit rubbish, it might not be just bad luck.

Sometimes, it’s the little things we do, the habits we unknowingly cultivate, that contribute to our unhappiness. They might seem harmless enough on the surface, but over time, they can really take a toll on our mental and emotional health. Here are some things you may be doing that are keeping you miserable.

1. You’re always comparing yourself to other people.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the carefully curated highlight reels on social media that are total BS in reality. But remember, everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself only leads to feelings of inadequacy. Focus on your own path, celebrate your unique strengths, and appreciate your individual journey.

2. You hold grudges and often feel resentful.

Carrying around anger and resentment is like holding a hot coal – it only burns you. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but it frees you from the emotional burden. Let go of past hurts, practice forgiveness (even if it’s just for yourself), and focus on cultivating positive emotions.

3. You neglect your physical and mental health.

Our physical and mental well-being are deeply interconnected. Skipping workouts, binging on junk food, and neglecting sleep can leave you feeling sluggish and irritable. Make time for exercise, eat nutritious food, prioritize sleep, and practice mindfulness to nurture your body and mind.

4. You isolate yourself and avoid social interaction.

Humans are social creatures, and connection is vital for our well-being. Isolating yourself can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression. Make an effort to reach out to friends and family, join social clubs, or engage in activities that bring you in contact with other people. Even small interactions can make a big difference in your mood.

5. You focus on the negative and overlook the positive.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world, but dwelling on the bad only amplifies it. Train your brain to notice the good things in your life. Practice gratitude, celebrate small wins, and focus on the positive aspects of your experiences. This shift in perspective can significantly improve your outlook on life.

6. You dwell on “what ifs” and regrets.

Replaying past mistakes or dwelling on missed opportunities can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining. Focus on the present moment and make the most of the choices you have now. Learn from your past, but don’t let it hold you back from creating a brighter future.

7. You procrastinate and avoid taking action.

Putting things off until the last minute can create unnecessary stress and anxiety. Break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Take consistent action towards your goals, even if it’s just a little bit each day. Progress, no matter how small, can boost your confidence and motivation.

8. You surround yourself with negative people.

The people you spend time with can have a significant impact on your mood and outlook on life. If you’re surrounded by negative, critical, or draining people, it’s time to re-evaluate those relationships. Seek positive, supportive individuals who uplift you and bring out the best in you.

9. You neglect your personal growth and development.

Feeling stagnant or stuck in a rut can contribute to unhappiness. Make a conscious effort to learn new things, acquire new skills, and challenge yourself intellectually. Read books, take courses, attend workshops, or pursue hobbies that ignite your curiosity. Personal growth broadens your horizons and boosts your self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.

10. You constantly seek external validation.

Relying on external validation for your happiness can be a recipe for misery. Likes on social media, compliments from other people, or material possessions might provide a temporary boost, but true happiness comes from within. Focus on cultivating self-love, self-acceptance, and inner peace. Recognize your own worth and value, independent of external opinions or achievements.

11. You suppress your emotions and avoid dealing with difficult feelings.

Ignoring or suppressing your emotions won’t make them disappear. In fact, it can lead to a build-up of emotional baggage that weighs you down. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions, both positive and negative. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist if you need support processing difficult feelings. Emotional expression is a healthy and necessary part of life.

12. You have unrealistic expectations of yourself and other people.

Expecting perfection from yourself — or anyone else, for that matter — is a recipe for disappointment. Accept that everyone makes mistakes, including yourself. Set realistic goals, embrace your imperfections, and learn to accept people for who they are, flaws and all. This will free you from unnecessary pressure and allow for more fulfilling relationships.

13. You lack a sense of purpose or meaning in your life.

Feeling like you’re drifting through life without a clear purpose can leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled. Take some time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. What truly matters to you? What kind of impact do you want to make on the world? Finding your purpose can give your life meaning and direction.

14. You’re addicted to your phone and social media.

While technology can be a useful tool, excessive use can be detrimental to your well-being. Constantly checking social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy, FOMO (fear of missing out), and comparison. Set limits on your screen time, prioritize real-life interactions, and engage in activities that nourish your soul offline.

15. You resist change and cling to the familiar.

Change can be scary, but it’s also essential for growth. Resisting change can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities. Embrace new experiences, step outside your comfort zone, and challenge yourself to grow. You might be surprised at the new possibilities that open up when you let go of fear and embrace change.

16. You engage in negative self-talk and self-sabotage.

Your thoughts and beliefs have a powerful impact on your reality. If you constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough, you’ll start to believe it. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Be your own cheerleader and believe in your ability to achieve your goals. Avoid self-sabotaging behaviours that hold you back from reaching your full potential.

17. You don’t practice gratitude.

Focusing on what you lack, rather than what you have, can breed discontentment and unhappiness. Take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small they may seem. Gratitude can shift your perspective, increase your happiness, and help you to see the abundance that surrounds you.

18. You avoid dealing with difficult situations.

Sweeping problems under the rug or avoiding difficult conversations might seem like the easier path, but it can lead to unresolved conflicts and lingering resentment. Address challenges head-on, communicate openly and honestly, and seek solutions collaboratively. Taking charge of difficult situations can empower you and bring a sense of peace.

19. You don’t set healthy boundaries with people.

Saying yes to everything and everyone can leave you feeling drained and taken advantage of. Learn to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your own needs. It’s okay to say no sometimes, and it’s important to protect your time and energy. Setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect and can lead to healthier relationships.

20. You’re not living in alignment with your values.

When your actions don’t align with your values, it can create internal conflict and unhappiness. Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your core values? Are your choices and actions consistent with those values? Living in alignment with your values can bring a sense of peace, purpose, and fulfilment to your life.