By Nothing tells you a relationship is doomed quite like a highly curated Instagram account full of happy couple photos.
In every single picture, they’re smiling widely, looking as if the world is their oyster, and every post is captioned with something like, “Best day with this one 😍.” They’re trying very hard to convince everyone of their love story, but more often than not, there are major issues under the surface. Here are some other warning signs you’ll likely notice.
1. They post about their relationship more than they actually spend time together.
If their social media is full of couple content, but they barely see each other in real life, something’s off. Real relationships happen offline, not just on social media. They’re probably more invested in the idea of the relationship than the reality of the relationship itself.
2. Every photo looks like it’s straight out of a magazine.
While it’s nice to share your best moments, if every single photo looks professionally staged, it might be a sign they’re more focused on appearances than genuine connection. Sadly, perfectionism can create unrealistic expectations and put unnecessary pressure on the relationship to always look ‘Instagram-worthy’.
3. They never admit to any disagreements or challenges.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, so if their posts only ever show the highs, they might be trying to convince themselves (and everyone else) that everything’s perfect when it’s not.
4. Their captions are always over-the-top declarations of love.
Constant public declarations of undying love might seem romantic, but they can also be a way of overcompensating for lack of real intimacy or trust issues. Being so grandiose all the time is a way of convincing themselves of their feelings while also trying to impress other people.
5. They post about each other more than they post about their individual lives.
Healthy relationships involve two whole people, not two halves. If their entire identity seems wrapped up in being part of a couple, codependency might be an issue. Losing yourself in a relationship is not a good look, and in the end, the relationship will start to feel suffocating.
6. They share private moments that should really stay private.
Oversharing intimate details or moments can be a cry for attention or validation from other people, rather than finding that validation within the relationship. Plus, when you’re airing all your dirty laundry in public, that’s sure to destroy the trust in a relationship, don’t you think?
7. Their posts always seem to one-up other couples.
If they’re constantly trying to prove they’re the ‘best’ couple, it might be because they’re feeling insecure about their relationship in reality. Seeing everything as a competition can turn their relationship into a performance, rather than a genuine partnership. I’ve seen this too many times to count!
8. They post passive-aggressive messages directed at each other.
Vague posts about ‘loyalty’ or ‘trust’ that seem aimed at their partner obviously means they’re having issues they’re not addressing directly. It reeks of those passive-aggressive away messages everyone used to post on MSN Messenger back in the day (you know, when you were a teenager, not a grown adult).
9. They’re always on extravagant dates or holidays.
While nice dates are great, if every post is about grand gestures or expensive trips, they might be using material things to paper over cracks in their relationship. Focusing on all of these elaborate experiences is a good way to avoid dealing with problems in the relationship, don’t you think?
10. They never show themselves just hanging out at home.
Real relationships involve a lot of mundane moments. If they can’t find joy or meaning in the everyday stuff, it might be a red flag. The ability to enjoy simple, quiet moments together is often a sign of a strong, comfortable relationship.
11. Their posts always get the same comments from the same people.
If it seems like they have a ‘fan club’ that always comments on how perfect they are, they might be surrounding themselves with yes-people who don’t challenge them. Being in an echo chamber keeps them from seeing or addressing their problems, and that’s not a good thing.
12. They always post about how they ‘never fight’.
Healthy disagreement is normal in relationships. Claiming to never fight could mean they’re avoiding important conversations or one person is always giving in. When you don’t address little issues, they often fester and become big ones, and that can destroy a relationship.
13. Their posts often include subtle digs at exes or other couples.
If they’re constantly comparing their relationship to other people’s or putting down exes, it could signal insecurity or unresolved issues. They’re obviously defining their relationship in opposition to everyone else’s, rather than on its own merits. Yikes.
14. They post the same ‘perfect’ photos over and over again.
Repeatedly sharing the same handful of ‘best’ photos might mean they’re living in the past or struggling to create new happy memories. Fixating so much on past moments could mean that the present isn’t all that great for them (but they’d never admit that, would they?).
15. Their posts seem more focused on their appearance as a couple than their connection.
If it’s all about how good they look together rather than how they feel or what they do together, and that points to their so-called connection being pretty superficial. You can’t have much depth in a relationship when all you’re focused on is appearances.
16. They post about their relationship milestones before they’ve even happened.
Announcing engagements before they’ve happened or talking about forever too soon could be a sign of rushing things to keep up appearances. Their eagerness to hit relationship milestones might point to insecurity, or a desperation to keep up with other people who are further down the road. Again, it’s not a competition!
17. Their posts always include long explanations or justifications.
If they feel the need to explain or defend their relationship choices in every post, it might mean they’re feeling judged or insecure. If they have to justify so much, they’re obviously not confident in their decisions or feel like they need other people’s approval.
18. They post about their partner more than they interact with their partner’s posts.
If they’re all about creating content about their relationship but don’t engage with what their partner shares, that screams “one-sided dynamic”. If they’re this imbalanced online, what must they be like in real life?
19. Their posts are always about big romantic gestures, never about supporting each other.
Real love is often shown in small, everyday acts, and those of us who’ve been in healthy long-term relationships know this. If it’s all grand gestures, they might be missing the deeper aspects of partnership. Their insistence on focusing on spectacle over substance tells you they don’t really know what it takes to maintain a solid connection.
20. They suddenly stop posting about each other without explanation.
A dramatic shift from constant posts to radio silence could mean either that they’re going through issues that are too big to ignore, or that perfect facade has finally broken — and so have they. Uh oh!
