It’s not always easy to tell when someone’s mental health is suffering.
After all, some people are good at hiding how they really feel, instead preferring to bottle up their emotions and keep on going with that classic stiff upper lip. However, if you notice any of these signs, they might be struggling behind closed doors, and it’s worth checking in to see how they really are.
1. They’re suddenly always “busy”.
If your usually social friend is constantly dodging plans or saying they’re swamped, it might be more than just a hectic schedule. Sometimes, being “busy” is a cover for not wanting to face people. It’s their way of hiding what’s really going on. Try reaching out in a low-pressure way, like a quick text to check in.
2. Their social media presence changes dramatically.
Source: Unsplash Maybe they’ve gone from regular poster to ghost, or they’re suddenly oversharing. Both can be signs something’s up. The radio silence might mean they’re withdrawing, while oversharing could be a cry for help. Keep an eye out for drastic changes in their online behaviour.
3. They’re always tired.
If they’re constantly exhausted, it might not just be about lack of sleep. Mental struggles can be seriously draining. When someone’s always running on empty, it could be a sign they’re dealing with some heavy emotional stuff. Check if they’re taking care of themselves and getting proper rest.
4. Their eating habits have changed.
Suddenly skipping meals or eating way more than usual? Food can be a comfort or a control mechanism when someone’s struggling. Big changes in appetite or eating patterns might signal that something’s off. It’s worth gently asking if everything’s okay.
5. They’re more irritable than usual.
If your usually chill friend is snapping at every little thing, they might be dealing with some internal turmoil. When people are struggling, their fuse gets shorter. Try not to take it personally, and maybe ask if there’s anything on their mind.
6. They’re using humour to deflect serious topics.
Cracking jokes isn’t always a bad thing, but if they’re using humour to avoid talking about real issues, it could be a defence mechanism. Pay attention if they’re always changing the subject with a laugh when things get serious. They might need a safe space to open up.
7. They’re drinking more than usual.
A sudden increase in alcohol consumption can be a red flag. If they’re hitting the bottle harder or more often, it might be their way of coping with something. Keep an eye out for this behaviour and maybe suggest some alcohol-free hangouts.
8. Their appearance has changed.
If your usually put-together friend starts neglecting their appearance, it could be a sign they’re struggling. This isn’t about fashion choices, but more about basic self-care. If they seem to have stopped caring about how they look, it might be because they’re focusing all their energy on just getting through each day.
9. They’re always “fine”.
When “fine” becomes their go-to response for everything, it might actually mean the opposite. If they’re brushing off every “how are you?” with a quick “I’m fine,” they might be trying to avoid talking about what’s really going on. Try asking more specific questions to get past the automatic response.
10. They’re withdrawing from hobbies they used to love.
If they’ve stopped doing things they used to be passionate about, it could be a sign something’s wrong. Losing interest in favourite activities often goes hand in hand with struggling mentally. Maybe gently remind them of the things they used to enjoy and see how they react.
11. Their sleep patterns have changed dramatically.
Sleeping way more or much less than usual can both be signs of inner turmoil. If they’re suddenly pulling all-nighters or spending all day in bed, it might be worth checking in. Sleep disturbances often go hand in hand with mental health struggles.
12. They’re always apologising.
If they’re saying sorry for every little thing, it might mean they’re feeling insecure or anxious. Excessive apologising can be a sign of low self-esteem or feeling like a burden. Reassure them that they don’t need to apologise for existing.
13. They’re avoiding making plans.
Source: Unsplash If they’re hesitant to commit to anything in the future, even fun stuff, it could mean they’re having a hard time seeing beyond their current struggle. This lack of forward-thinking can be a sign of depression. Try involving them in some short-term plans to give them something to look forward to.
14. They’re always helping other people, but never asking for help.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people who are struggling throw themselves into helping people as a distraction. If they’re always there for everyone else but never seem to need support themselves, they might be deflecting from their own issues. Remind them it’s okay to need help too.
15. Their work performance has dropped.
If they’re usually on top of things but suddenly missing deadlines or making uncharacteristic mistakes, it could be because their mind is preoccupied with personal struggles. Mental health issues can seriously impact concentration and productivity. If you notice this at work, approach the topic sensitively.
16. They’re more accident-prone than usual.
Constantly bumping into things or having minor accidents? It could be because they’re distracted by internal struggles. When our minds are preoccupied, we tend to be less careful. If you notice this, gently ask if everything’s okay.
17. They’re avoiding physical touch.
If someone who was usually okay with hugs or casual touches starts pulling away, it might signal they’re going through something. Personal space needs can change when we’re struggling. Respect their boundaries, but let them know you’re there if they need support.
18. They’re engaging in risky behaviour.
Suddenly taking unnecessary risks can be a cry for help or a way of feeling something when they’re numb inside. If they’re doing things that seem out of character and potentially dangerous, it’s definitely time for a chat. Express your concern without judgement.
19. They’re always changing the subject when asked about themselves.
If every attempt to talk about their life gets redirected, they might be avoiding discussing what’s really going on. This deflection can be a way of keeping their struggles hidden. Try to create a safe, judgement-free zone for them to open up.
20. Their home is messier than usual.
A sudden inability to keep up with basic household chores can be a sign of inner turmoil. If their usually tidy space is in chaos, it might reflect their mental state. Instead of judging, maybe offer to help tidy up together. Sometimes, a little practical support can open the door to deeper conversations.
