Life’s too short to be miserable, but many of us are.
That’s largely down to some of the habits and mindsets we’re clinging to that drag us down without even realising it. Here are some of the things you might want to ditch for good if you want to live a happier life.
1. Holding grudges
Holding grudges doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself. Sure, it’s not easy to let go, especially when someone’s really hurt you. But holding on to that anger and resentment just keeps you stuck in the past. Try to forgive, not for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. It doesn’t mean you have to be best buddies with them, just that you’re choosing to move on.
2. Chasing other people’s approval
If you’re always trying to please everyone, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You can’t make everyone happy all the time — it’s just not possible. Focus on what makes you feel good about yourself instead of what other people think. Your own approval is the most important. Remember, those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
3. Negative self-talk
That little voice in your head that’s always putting you down? It’s time to tell it to shut up. Constantly criticising yourself doesn’t motivate you to do better — it just makes you feel crappy. Start catching yourself when you’re being overly critical and try to reframe those thoughts. It might feel weird at first, but with practice, you can change that inner dialogue to be more supportive.
4. Procrastination
We all put things off sometimes, but if procrastination is your default mode, it’s time for a change. Constantly leaving things to the last minute just adds unnecessary stress to your life. Try breaking big tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. Start with just five minutes — often, that’s all it takes to get the ball rolling. Your future self will thank you for it.
5. Toxic relationships
If you’ve got people in your life who constantly bring you down, it might be time to re-evaluate those relationships. This could be friends, family, or even romantic partners. It’s not about cutting people off at the first sign of trouble, but if someone consistently makes you feel bad about yourself or drains your energy, it’s okay to create some distance. Your mental health matters.
6. Fear of failure
Being afraid to fail can stop you from even trying. But here’s the thing — everyone fails sometimes. It’s part of learning and growing. Instead of seeing failure as the end of the world, try to view it as a stepping stone. What can you learn from it? How can you do better next time? Remember, the only real failure is not trying at all.
7. Comparing yourself to other people
Especially thanks to social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to other people’s. But remember, you’re seeing their highlight reel, not their behind-the-scenes. Everyone’s on their own journey. Focus on your own progress and goals instead of worrying about how you measure up to everyone else. Your only competition should be the person you were yesterday.
8. Dwelling on the past
We’ve all got regrets or “what ifs” from the past. But constantly replaying old mistakes or missed opportunities doesn’t change anything — it just keeps you stuck. Learn from the past, sure, but don’t live in it. Focus on what you can do now to create the future you want. The past is done, but you’ve got control over what happens next.
9. Neglecting your health
It’s easy to take your health for granted when you’re feeling good. But neglecting your physical and mental well-being will catch up with you eventually. Make time for regular exercise, eat foods that make you feel good, and don’t skimp on sleep. And don’t forget about your mental health — find ways to manage stress and anxiety. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
10. Being overly critical of other people
If you’re always finding fault with other people, you might want to take a step back. Not only does it make you unpleasant to be around, but it also reflects more on you than on them. Try to practice more empathy and understanding. Everyone’s fighting their own battles that you might not know about. Plus, being kinder to people often leads to being kinder to yourself.
11. Saying “yes” to everything
Being a “yes” person might make you feel helpful, but it can lead to burnout real quick. It’s okay to say no sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary. Be selective about what you commit to. Make sure you’re leaving enough time and energy for the things and people that really matter to you. Remember, every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.
12. Avoiding tough conversations
Nobody likes confrontation, but avoiding tough talks doesn’t make problems go away. In fact, it usually makes them bigger. Whether it’s with a friend, partner, or colleague, addressing issues head-on (in a respectful way) can clear the air and prevent resentment from building up. It might be uncomfortable in the moment, but it’s better than letting things fester.
13. Perfectionism
Striving for excellence is great, but perfectionism can be paralysing. If you’re always waiting for things to be “perfect” before you share them with the world, you might be holding yourself back. Remember, you can always improve and iterate as you go. Don’t let the pursuit of perfection stop you from starting or finishing things.
14. Living beyond your means
Source: Unsplash Trying to keep up with a lifestyle you can’t afford is a fast track to stress and debt. It’s not about how much you make, it’s about how you manage what you have. Learn to live within your means and save for the future. Find ways to enjoy life that don’t involve spending money you don’t have. Financial stress can seep into every area of your life, so get a handle on it now.
15. Ignoring your intuition
That gut feeling you get sometimes? Pay attention to it. Your intuition is often picking up on things your conscious mind hasn’t processed yet. If something feels off about a situation or person, don’t ignore it. This doesn’t mean you should be paranoid, but trust yourself enough to at least investigate when your instincts are sending you signals.
16. Surrounding yourself with negativity
If you’re constantly exposed to negativity — whether it’s from the news, social media, or the people around you — it’s going to affect your mood and outlook. Be mindful of what you’re consuming and who you’re spending time with. Look for positive influences and information that inspires and uplifts you. It doesn’t mean ignoring real issues, but balance is key.
17. Neglecting personal growth
Life’s all about growing and evolving. If you’re not actively working on improving yourself or learning new things, you might start feeling stuck or unfulfilled. This doesn’t mean you need to make massive changes overnight, but set some personal goals. Read books, take classes, try new hobbies. Keep challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone.
18. Holding on to stuff you don’t need
This goes for physical stuff and emotional baggage. Clutter in your space can lead to clutter in your mind. Go through your stuff regularly and get rid of things you don’t use or love. The same goes for old ideas, habits, or relationships that no longer serve you. Clearing out the old makes room for new experiences and growth.
19. Avoiding responsibility
It’s tempting to blame other people for circumstances for things that go wrong in your life. But constantly avoiding responsibility for your actions or decisions keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. Own your choices — both the good and the bad. When you take responsibility, you also take back your power to make changes and improve your situation.
20. Forgetting to appreciate what you have
It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong or what you don’t have. But taking time to appreciate the good stuff in your life can seriously boost your happiness. Try to practice gratitude regularly. It could be for big things like your health or job, or small things like a good cup of coffee or a sunny day. Recognising the positives can help put the negatives in perspective.
