Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
Source: Unsplash At times, unrealistic expectations creep in and create a major rift that can tear a relationship apart. Women are just as guilty of this as men, of course, but there are certain expectations men often have of their wives that are unfair and unsustainable at best and downright toxic at worst. Here are some of the worst offenders.
1. She should always be in the mood for intimacy.
Let’s be real — everyone has days when they’re just not feeling it. Whether it’s due to stress, fatigue, or hormonal fluctuations, it’s perfectly normal for your wife’s desire to ebb and flow. Demanding intimacy or making her feel guilty for not being in the mood can create resentment and damage your connection.
2. She should never get angry or upset.
Your wife is a human being with a range of emotions, just like you. Expecting her to be perpetually cheerful and suppress her anger or frustration is unrealistic and unfair. Allow her to express her emotions healthily, and be there to listen and support her through challenging times.
3. She should always put your needs before her own.
A healthy marriage involves mutual respect and consideration. While it’s important to be attentive to your wife’s needs, expecting her to constantly sacrifice her own desires and prioritise yours is a recipe for resentment. Encourage her to pursue her own passions and dreams, and find a balance that works for both of you.
4. She should be perfect at everything she does.
Nobody is perfect, and expecting your wife to be flawless in every aspect of her life is setting her up for failure. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or managing finances, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Embrace her imperfections and celebrate her unique talents.
5. She should always agree with you.
Healthy debate and differences of opinion are natural in any relationship. Expecting your wife to agree with you on everything stifles her individuality and prevents you from growing as a couple. Embrace healthy discussions, respect her perspectives, and be willing to compromise.
6. She should never change or evolve.
People grow and change throughout their lives, and so do their interests and aspirations. Expecting your wife to remain the same person she was when you first met is unrealistic and can hinder her personal growth. Embrace her evolution and support her journey of self-discovery.
7. She should be able to read your mind.
As much as we wish it were true, your wife doesn’t possess telepathic abilities. If you have a need or want, communicate it clearly and openly. Assuming she should automatically know what you’re thinking is setting both of you up for disappointment and miscommunication.
8. She should be your sole source of happiness.
While a happy marriage is a wonderful thing, it’s important to remember that your wife is not responsible for your overall happiness. You need to find joy and fulfilment in other areas of your life, such as your career, hobbies, and friendships. Relying solely on your wife for happiness puts undue pressure on her and the relationship.
9. She should always look her best.
Life is messy, and so are the realities of maintaining a household and raising a family. Expecting your wife to always look like she stepped out of a magazine is unrealistic and unfair. Appreciate her for who she is, not just how she looks.
10. She should never need time for herself.
Everyone needs time to recharge and pursue their own interests. Expecting your wife to be constantly available and attentive to your needs can lead to burnout and resentment. Encourage her to take time for herself, whether it’s reading a book, spending time with friends, or pursuing a hobby.
11. She should always be available to take care of the kids.
Parenting is a shared responsibility. While it’s wonderful when your wife enjoys spending time with your children, expecting her to be their sole caregiver 24/7 is unrealistic and unfair. Step up, be an active participant in their lives, and give your wife the break she needs and deserves.
12. She should never complain about housework or chores.
Source: Unsplash Maintaining a household requires effort from both partners. Expecting your wife to handle all the chores without complaint is a recipe for resentment. Share the workload, appreciate her efforts, and work together to create a system that feels fair and equitable for both of you.
13. She should never ask for help or support.
Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. Whether it’s with emotional struggles, household tasks, or childcare, expecting your wife to handle everything on her own is unrealistic and isolating. Be there for her, offer your support, and show her that you’re a team.
14. She should always be the one to initiate romance or intimacy.
Romance and intimacy should be a two-way street. While it’s lovely when your wife surprises you with romantic gestures, expecting her to always be the initiator can make her feel unappreciated and unwanted. Take the initiative sometimes, surprise her with a thoughtful gesture, and show her that you still care about keeping the spark alive.
15. She should never have any secrets or privacy.
Everyone needs a little space and privacy, including your wife. Demanding to know every detail of her life, snooping through her phone, or interrogating her about her friendships is a violation of her trust and autonomy. Respect her privacy and allow her to have her own space and secrets.
16. She should never express any negative emotions towards you.
Healthy relationships involve open communication, both positive and negative. Expecting your wife to always be happy and never express frustration, anger, or disappointment is unrealistic and unhealthy. Allow her to express her feelings honestly, and work together to address any underlying issues.
17. She should always be the one to apologise first.
Taking responsibility for your mistakes and apologising when you’re wrong is a sign of maturity and respect. Expecting your wife to always be the first to say she’s sorry perpetuates an unfair power dynamic in the relationship. Be willing to admit your faults and make amends when necessary.
18. She should magically know how to make you happy.
Your happiness is your responsibility. While your wife can certainly contribute to your joy and well-being, expecting her to be the sole source of your happiness is unrealistic and unfair. Communicate your needs and wants openly, and take ownership of your own emotional well-being.
19. She should never have any needs or desires that differ from yours.
Your wife is an individual with her own dreams, aspirations, and preferences. Expecting her to always align her desires with yours is suffocating and disrespectful. Encourage her individuality, support her dreams, and find common ground that respects both of your needs.
20. She should love you unconditionally, no matter how you behave.
While love is a powerful force, it’s not a blank check for bad behaviour. Treating your wife with disrespect, neglecting her needs, or repeatedly hurting her feelings will slowly smother her love and affection over time. Show her love and respect, cherish her presence in your life, and work together to build a strong and fulfilling partnership based on mutual understanding and support.
