21 Surprising Signs Someone Secretly Loves You

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Trying to figure out if someone has feelings for you can be a maddening exercise in overanalysing and second-guessing.

People aren’t always forthcoming with their affections, especially if they’re unsure how you’ll respond. But here’s the thing: even if they’re not saying “I love you” outright, chances are they’re giving off some pretty clear signals that they’re into you. You just need to know what to look for. Here are 21 surprising signs that someone secretly loves you.

1. They remember tiny details about things you’ve told them

When we’re into someone, we hang on their every word like it’s gospel truth. If your crush can recall the name of your childhood goldfish or the exact coffee order you mentioned in passing three weeks ago, it’s a sign they’re paying close attention. They’re not just nodding along politely — they’re filing away every tidbit you share like it’s sacred knowledge. That level of active listening and recall is a clear indicator that you’ve got a special place in their mental Rolodex.

2. They always find excuses to touch you or be physically close

Touch is a powerful way to build intimacy and show affection. If your crush is constantly finding ways to make physical contact, whether it’s a playful shoulder bump, a lingering hug, or “accidentally” brushing your hand, they’re probably trying to create a sense of closeness. Pay attention to whether they touch other people with the same frequency and intensity. If you’re the only one getting the constant shoulder rubs and knee pats, it’s a pretty good sign they’re into you.

3. They mirror your body language and speech patterns

Mirroring is a subconscious way we build rapport and show alignment with someone. If you notice your crush starting to adopt your favourite phrases, copy your posture, or match your tone of voice, it’s a sign they’re trying to create a sense of unity and connection. They’re not just agreeing with you — they’re subconsciously syncing up with you. This is a subtle but powerful way of signalling that they’re on the same wavelength and want to be closer to you.

4. They remember your schedule and check in on you regularly

When someone is into you, your life becomes a priority to them. They remember when you have a big presentation at work or a dentist appointment coming up. They check in to see how your day is going or to wish you luck on a test. These little gestures show that they’re keeping tabs on your life and want to be a part of it. If they’re always the first to comment on your social media posts or send you a supportive text, it’s a sign you’re on their mind.

5. They go out of their way to do thoughtful things for you

male and female colleague chatting at cafe — Unsplash

Grand romantic gestures are great, but sometimes it’s the little things that really show how much someone cares. If your crush goes out of their way to bring you soup when you’re sick, help you move flats, or pick up your favourite snack from the store, it’s a sign they’re invested in your well-being. They’re not just doing these things to be nice — they’re doing them because they genuinely want to make your life easier and happier. That level of thoughtfulness is a clear indicator of deeper feelings.

6. They get jealous when you mention other potential love interests

Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it’s especially potent when we’re into someone. If your crush visibly bristles or gets quiet when you mention a hot date or a flirty coworker, it’s a sign they’re not exactly thrilled about the idea of you with someone else. They may try to play it cool and act like they’re totally fine with you seeing other people, but their body language and tone will usually betray their true feelings. A bit of jealousy is a clear sign they want you all to themselves.

7. They make an effort to look their best around you

When we’re attracted to someone, we naturally want to present our best selves. If you notice your crush always seems to be rocking a fresh haircut, a sharp outfit, or a little extra cologne when you’re around, it’s a sign they’re trying to impress you. They may be subtle about it, but pay attention to whether they seem more put-together than usual in your presence. Making an effort to look good is a way of signalling that they care what you think of them.

8. They find excuses to contact you, even if it’s just to say hi

In the age of texting and social media, it’s easier than ever to stay in constant contact with our crushes. If you find yourself getting “thinking of you” messages, funny memes, or random life updates on the regular, it’s a sign you’re always on their mind. They may not have anything earth-shattering to say, but they just want an excuse to connect with you and keep the conversation flowing. Consistent communication is a way of showing that they want you to be a steady presence in their life.

9. They get nervous or tongue-tied in your presence

Confidence is sexy, but sometimes a little nervous energy can be endearing. If your usually smooth-talking crush becomes a bumbling mess in your presence, it’s a sign they’re a little intimidated by how much they like you. They may stumble over their words, fidget with their hands, or seem uncharacteristically shy. This is actually a good thing — it means they care about impressing you and don’t want to screw it up. A little bit of nerves is a sign of authentic attraction.

10. They remember and reference inside jokes that you share

Inside jokes are the secret language of intimacy. They’re the little moments and memories that only you two share. If your crush is constantly bringing up funny things you’ve said or done together, it’s a sign they cherish those moments of connection. Referencing inside jokes is a way of saying, “We have a special bond that no one else understands.” It’s a subtle but powerful way of creating a sense of closeness and exclusivity.

11. They defend you and stand up for you, even when you’re not around

When we love someone, we become their fiercest ally and protector. If you find out that your crush has been singing your praises or defending your honour when you’re not around, it’s a sign they have your back no matter what. They’re not just saying nice things to your face — they genuinely believe in you and want everyone to see how great you are. Having someone who is willing to go to bat for you, even when there’s nothing in it for them, is a sign of real love and loyalty.

12. They make an effort to get along with your friends and family

Our loved ones are a big part of our lives, and someone who wants to be with you long-term will make an effort to integrate themselves into your social circle. If your crush goes out of their way to charm your friends, remembers details about your family members, and seems genuinely interested in getting to know the people you care about, it’s a sign they’re in it for the long haul. They’re not just trying to win you over — they want to be a part of your whole world.

13. They pay attention to your likes and dislikes and try to accommodate them

When we’re into someone, we want to make them happy. If your crush remembers that you hate cilantro and always orders your tacos without it, or surprises you with tickets to see your favourite band, it’s a sign they’re paying attention to your preferences and wants. They’re not just going through the motions of dating — they’re actively trying to do things that will bring you joy. Paying attention to the little things is a big way of showing love.

14. They make future plans and include you in them

When someone is really into you, they start to envision a future with you in it. If your crush casually mentions a concert they want to go to with you next year, or starts making plans for a summer holiday together, it’s a sign they see you as a long-term prospect. They’re not just thinking about the next date — they’re thinking about all the adventures they want to have with you down the road. Including you in their future is a way of saying, “I want you in my life for a long time to come.”

15. They give you meaningful gifts that show they understand you

Anyone can buy a generic box of chocolates or a gift card. But when someone gives you a present that is perfectly tailored to your interests and tastes, it’s a sign they really “get” you. If your crush surprises you with a rare vinyl record from your favourite obscure band or a book by an author you mentioned loving, it means they’ve been paying attention to what makes you tick. Giving thoughtful, personalised gifts is a way of showing that they appreciate and value the unique person you are.

16. They make an effort to learn about and participate in your hobbies

Shared interests are a big part of compatibility. If your crush starts showing an interest in your favourite hobbies or passions, even if they’re not naturally their thing, it’s a sign they want to connect with you on a deeper level. They may start asking you to teach them about photography, or tag along to your weekly trivia night even though they’re terrible at it. Making an effort to embrace your interests is a way of showing that they want to be a bigger part of your world.

17. They go out of their way to help you, even if it’s inconvenient for them

When we love someone, their needs and wants to become a priority for us. If your crush is always willing to go the extra mile to help you out, even when it’s a hassle for them, it’s a sign they care deeply about your well-being. They may offer to pick you up from the airport in the middle of the night, or spend their whole weekend helping you move flats. Sacrificing their own comfort and convenience for your sake is a big way of showing that you’re important to them.

18. They remember and celebrate important dates and milestones

Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations — these are all milestones that matter to us, and someone who loves you will make an effort to honour and celebrate them. If your crush always remembers to send you a birthday card or congratulate you on a big accomplishment, it’s a sign they’re invested in your life and want to be there for the big moments. Celebrating your successes and milestones is a way of showing that they’re proud of you and want to be your biggest cheerleader.

19. They make an effort to resolve conflicts and communicate openly

No relationship is perfect, and conflicts are bound to arise. But someone who truly loves you will be willing to work through the tough stuff and find a way to understand each other. If your crush is always willing to have an honest conversation when things get rocky, and makes a genuine effort to see your perspective and find a compromise, it’s a sign they’re in it for the long haul. Being able to navigate conflicts with maturity and openness is a sign of a deep and lasting bond.

20. They show vulnerability and share personal things with you

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of intimacy. When we let someone see our true selves, flaws and all, it’s a sign of deep trust and affection. If your crush starts opening up to you about their fears, their dreams, or their painful past experiences, it means they feel safe and accepted by you. Sharing personal and vulnerable things is a way of saying, “I trust you with my whole self, and I want you to know me on a deeper level.” It’s a big step towards real love.

21. They look at you in a way that makes you feel seen and adored

Sometimes, love is communicated in the simplest and most subtle of ways — a look, a smile, a gentle touch. If you catch your crush gazing at you with a soft, warm expression, like you’re the most amazing thing they’ve ever seen, it’s a sign their feelings run deep. They may not be ready to say “I love you” out loud, but their eyes are communicating it loud and clear. Feeling truly seen and appreciated by someone is a special kind of magic that can’t be faked. Trust your gut — if it feels like love, it probably is.