Dating these days doesn’t just suck for women — men are struggling too.
The landscape has changed dramatically, and a lot of men find themselves questioning whether it’s worth the effort. For many, the crap they deal with just doesn’t seem like it’s worth the effort anymore. Here are just some of the reasons a lot of men are considering going it alone in life moving forward.
1. Dating apps have created an overwhelming overload.
The sheer number of dating apps has turned finding a partner into a never-ending swipe fest. Men feel overwhelmed by choice, leading to decision paralysis. The constant influx of new profiles creates a “grass is always greener” mentality, making it feel pretty much impossible to focus on building a genuine connection with one person.
2. Ghosting wasn’t just a passing fad.
The prevalence of ghosting has left many men feeling disposable. Investing time and energy into conversations or dates only to have the other person vanish without explanation is demoralising. This behaviour breeds mistrust and makes men hesitant to open up or pursue potential relationships.
3. Financial expectations in dating can be overwhelming.
Traditional expectations of men paying for dates are still out there, despite all the “equality” talk. This can be really pressurizing for men, especially when juggling multiple first dates. They feel like they have to impress with expensive dates, creating stress and resentment, particularly when there’s no guarantee of a second date.
4. Mixed signals lead to constant confusion.
Navigating the fine line between being attentive and appearing desperate is exhausting. Men struggle to interpret signals, fearing they’ll be labelled as creepy if they show too much interest or uninterested if they don’t pursue aggressively enough. This constant second-guessing is mentally draining.
5. Social media creates unrealistic relationship comparisons.
The curated perfection of relationships on social media sets totally unrealistic expectations. Men feel forced to compete with idealised versions of romance, leading to disappointment when real-life dating doesn’t measure up to the filtered, hashtag-laden posts they see online.
6. Fear of commitment has become widespread.
A pervasive fear of commitment has men questioning the point of dating. With divorce rates high and long-term relationships seeming increasingly rare, many wonder if investing in a relationship is worth the potential heartbreak and financial risk.
7. Career prioritisation doesn’t leave much time or energy for dating.
Given how competitive the job market is these days, men often prioritise career advancement over dating. Long work hours and high-stress levels mean that pursuing romantic relationships often just isn’t a priority. The focus on professional success can make dating feel like an unnecessary distraction.
8. Dating burnout is a real and exhausting phenomenon.
The cycle of meeting new people, small talk, and first-date rituals becomes repetitive and exhausting — women know this all too well. Men experience dating burnout too, feeling like they’re going through the motions without any meaningful connections. This leads to a sense of futility in the dating process.
9. Trust issues from past experiences make it tough to form new connections.
Past experiences of infidelity or betrayal have left many men wary of new relationships. The fear of being hurt again makes it difficult to open up and be vulnerable. This defensive stance can prevent the formation of genuine connections.
10. Unrealistic standards create pressure to be perfect.
The abundance of choice (or what appears to be an abundance, anyway) has led to inflated expectations. Men feel pressure to be perfect in every aspect – looks, career, personality – while also facing increasingly high standards from potential partners. This creates a discouraging environment where many men feel they can’t measure up.
11. Hook-up culture makes finding serious relationships challenging.
Given how much everyone seems to be into casual encounters — yes, even in their 30s, 40s, and beyond! — makes it challenging to find partners interested in serious relationships. Men looking for meaningful connections often feel out of place in a dating scene that seems to prioritise short-term flings over long-term commitment.
12. The fact that most communication is digital leads to a lot of misunderstandings.
Reliance on text-based communication has made it harder to form genuine connections. Misinterpretations are common, and the lack of face-to-face interaction can lead to a false sense of intimacy. Men struggle to build real rapport in this digital landscape.
13. The time investment in dating feels disproportionate to the results.
The time required to date successfully – from profile creation to messaging to actual dates – doesn’t feel like it offers much payoff in the end. Men question whether this time could be better spent on personal development, hobbies, or building platonic relationships.
14. Fear of false accusations can make dating anxiety-inducing.
Source: Unsplash In the post-#MeToo era, some men have become overly cautious in their interactions with women. Worrying that they’ll be falsely accused or have their actions misinterpreted makes them anxious and hesitant in pursuing romantic interests, making dating feel like a minefield.
15. Changing gender dynamics have thrown dating norms for a loop.
Source: Unsplash Evolving gender roles have created uncertainty in dating norms. Men are unsure of expectations regarding chivalry, initiative, and traditional masculine behaviours. This confusion can lead to awkward interactions and misunderstandings.
16. The emotional labour required in modern dating is overwhelming.
Source: Unsplash The emotional effort required in modern dating – constant communication, managing expectations, navigating complex social dynamics – can be overwhelming. Men find themselves emotionally drained, questioning if the potential payoff is worth the mental toll.
17. The pressure to present some kind of idealised dream man is intense.
Source: Unsplash The pressure to present an idealised version of oneself, both online and in person, feels inauthentic. Men struggle with balancing honesty and the desire to impress, often leading to frustration when the façade inevitably cracks.
18. Age creates pressure to settle down quickly.
Source: Unsplash As men get older, a lot of them feel increasing pressure to settle down, just like women do. This urgency can make dating feel like a race against time rather than an organic process of finding a compatible partner. The stress of this ticking clock kind of takes the fun out of dating.
19. Dating market saturation in cities makes it hard to stand out.
Source: Unsplash In major cities, the sheer number of single people can be paradoxically limiting. Men feel lost in the crowd, struggling to stand out or make meaningful connections amidst the sea of options. This oversaturation leads to a sense of anonymity and disposability.
20. Achieving work-life balance becomes more difficult with dating.
Source: Unsplash Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is challenging enough without adding dating to the mix. A lot of men find it difficult to carve out time for romance while juggling career demands, personal interests, and existing relationships with friends and family.
21. Social skills have gone down the tube due to increased reliance on technology.
Source: Unsplash Increased reliance on technology has led to a decline in face-to-face social skills. Men find themselves struggling with in-person interactions, feeling awkward and unsure in real-life dating scenarios. This discomfort makes the prospect of dating anxiety-inducing rather than exciting.
22. Disillusionment with romance is only natural after repeated disappointments.
Source: Unsplash Constantly being let down and experiencing a string of failed relationships have left many men cynical about love. The ideal of finding a soulmate or long-lasting partnership seems increasingly unrealistic. This disillusionment saps the motivation to continue putting effort into dating. It’s a shame, but it’s true.
