Are you always bringing down the vibe because you’re so uptight?
While there’s nothing wrong with being organised and responsible, some things you’re saying might be making you sound uptight faster than you can say “relax.” Here are 23 phrases that might be sending the wrong message, even if you’re secretly a laid-back soul at heart.
1. “That’s not how we do things here.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase shuts down new ideas and makes you seem resistant to change. Instead of clinging to old ways, try embracing different approaches. You might be surprised at the positive results.
2. “This isn’t in the budget.”
While budgeting is important, constantly using this phrase can make you seem overly frugal and unwilling to consider new opportunities. Sometimes, taking a calculated risk or investing in something worthwhile can lead to significant rewards in the long run.
3. “I need this done by yesterday.”
We all have deadlines, but constantly using this phrase creates a sense of urgency that can be overwhelming for people. Instead, clearly communicate deadlines and prioritise tasks to avoid unnecessary stress for everyone involved.
4. “I told you so.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase might be satisfying to say in the moment, but it ultimately comes across as smug and unhelpful. No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes, so try offering support or solutions instead of rubbing it in.
5. “This is unacceptable.”
Source: Unsplash While standards are important, using this phrase too often can make you sound overly critical and hard to please. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, try highlighting what could be improved or offering constructive feedback.
6. “Why wasn’t I informed about this?”
Source: Unsplash It’s frustrating to be left out of the loop, but phrasing it this way can make you sound accusatory and demanding. Instead, calmly ask for clarification and express your desire to be kept in the loop in the future.
7. “That’s not my job.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s important to have defined roles and responsibilities, saying this phrase too quickly can make you seem inflexible and unwilling to help. Instead, offer to assist if you can or suggest someone who might be better suited for the task.
8. “We’ve always done it this way.”
Source: Unsplash Tradition has its place, but clinging to old habits can stifle innovation and growth. Instead of being resistant to change, be open to exploring new ideas and approaches that might be more effective or efficient.
9. “That’s not what I heard.”
This phrase can come across as passive-aggressive and undermining. Instead of questioning someone’s account, try clarifying what you heard and asking for further information.
10. “There’s no point in arguing about it.”
While not every disagreement needs to turn into a heated debate, shutting down conversation completely can be frustrating for the people around you. Instead of dismissing someone’s concerns, try listening to their perspective and finding common ground.
11. “This is ridiculous.”
Dismissing something as ridiculous shuts down dialogue and belittles people’s opinions. Instead of using this dismissive phrase, try to understand the reasoning behind the idea and offer alternative solutions if necessary.
12. “Because I said so.”
Source: Pexels This phrase might have worked when you were a kid, but as an adult, it comes across as patronising and dismissive. Instead of relying on authority, try explaining your reasoning calmly and respectfully.
13. “I don’t have time for this.”
We’re all busy, but saying this phrase makes it seem like you’re not willing to make time for people or their concerns. Instead, try suggesting an alternative time to talk or offering a brief explanation of your current workload.
14. “That’s not my problem.”
Source: Unsplash While you can’t solve everyone’s problems, saying this phrase makes you seem uncaring and unhelpful. Instead, offer a sympathetic ear or suggest resources that might be of assistance.
15. “Just relax.”
Source: Unsplash Telling someone to relax when they’re clearly stressed or upset is often unhelpful and can even be invalidating. Instead, offer support, listen to their concerns, or suggest ways to alleviate their stress.
16. “You’re overreacting.”
Brushing off someone’s feelings or reactions can be hurtful and dismissive. Instead, try to understand their perspective and validate their emotions, even if you don’t agree with their intensity.
17. “I’m not in the mood.”
While it’s okay to have off days, constantly using this phrase can make you seem difficult to please and unwilling to participate in social activities. Instead, try communicating your needs directly and suggesting alternative activities that you might enjoy.
18. “Don’t be so sensitive.”
Telling someone they’re too sensitive invalidates their feelings and experiences. Instead, acknowledge their emotions and try to understand why they’re reacting the way they are.
19. “You need to calm down.”
Telling someone to calm down when they’re already upset can escalate the situation and make them feel even more agitated. Instead, try to de-escalate the situation by speaking calmly and offering support.
20. “This is the wrong way to do it.”
There’s often more than one way to approach a task or solve a problem. Instead of being critical of someone’s method, try offering suggestions or alternative approaches that might be helpful.
21. “That’s a stupid idea.”
This phrase shuts down creativity and discourages people from sharing their thoughts and ideas. Instead of being dismissive, try asking questions to understand the idea better and offering constructive feedback.
22. “It’s not a big deal.”
While it’s important to keep things in perspective, saying this phrase can minimise someone’s concerns or feelings. Instead, acknowledge their worries and offer support or reassurance.
23. “Why can’t you just be normal?”
Source: Unsplash There’s no one definition of “normal,” and using this phrase can be hurtful and judgmental. Instead, embrace individuality and appreciate the unique qualities that make each person special.
