By Ever felt a little restless and suddenly found yourself swiping right or saying yes to a date?
While it’s fun to meet new people, sometimes we get into relationships for reasons that aren’t particularly romantic. If you’re wondering if boredom is the driving force behind your latest dating adventures, here are some signs that might be the case. It’s totally normal to have these feelings, but that doesn’t mean you should act on them!
1. You have a habit of comparing your current interest to past flames.
It’s easy to romanticise past relationships when you’re feeling a little bored in the present. If you find yourself constantly measuring your current love interest against the “good old days,” it might be a sign that you’re not fully invested in the new person. Instead of focusing on the present, you’re stuck reminiscing about the past.
2. The idea of being single again fills you with a sense of dread.
Source: Unsplash Being alone with your thoughts can be daunting, especially when boredom strikes. If the mere thought of going back to solo life sends shivers down your spine, it’s possible you’re looking for a relationship to fill the void rather than genuine companionship. Remember, being single can be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
3. You’re more interested in the idea of a relationship than the actual person.
Source: Unsplash Think about it: Are you genuinely excited about getting to know this new person, or are you more enamoured with the idea of having someone around? If you find yourself daydreaming about romantic gestures and couple activities without really considering who you’re with, it might be a sign that you want a relationship as a distraction from boredom.
4. You find yourself scrolling through dating apps even when you’re already seeing someone.
Source: Unsplash We all get curious sometimes, but if you’re constantly checking dating apps while you’re already in a relationship, it’s worth pausing to consider why. Are you subconsciously looking for something “more exciting” to cure your boredom? Remember, a healthy relationship involves focusing on the connection you’re building, not looking for alternatives.
5. You’re hesitant to introduce your new partner to your friends or family.
If you’re not eager to share your new relationship with the important people in your life, it could be a red flag. It might mean that, deep down, you’re not truly invested in the relationship and see it as a temporary fix for your boredom. True excitement about a partner usually involves wanting to shout it from the rooftops!
6. You’re not actively trying to deepen the connection with your current interest.
Source: Unsplash Relationships take effort and nurturing. If you find yourself going through the motions but not actively looking for ways to connect on a deeper level, it’s a sign that you might be more interested in the surface-level aspects of a relationship. When you’re genuinely excited about someone, you naturally want to learn more about them and build a stronger bond.
7. You find yourself initiating plans and activities just to avoid being alone.
Source: Unsplash It’s okay to enjoy company, but if you’re constantly pushing for dates or outings simply to avoid spending time alone, it’s worth considering if boredom is the real motivator. Healthy relationships involve a balance of togetherness and independent time, allowing each person to thrive individually.
8. You’re quick to overlook red flags or incompatibilities.
Source: Unsplash When boredom is the driving force behind a relationship, it’s easy to turn a blind eye to potential problems. If you find yourself brushing off warning signs or ignoring obvious differences in values or interests, it’s a clue that you might be more focused on filling a void than finding a compatible partner.
9. You feel a sense of relief when plans with your partner get cancelled.
Source: Unsplash While everyone needs a break now and then, feeling consistently relieved when dates are cancelled could indicate a lack of genuine interest in spending time with your partner. It’s normal to enjoy some alone time, but if you consistently feel relieved when plans fall through, it’s a sign you might be using the relationship as a distraction from boredom.
10. You find yourself fantasising about other people or possibilities.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural for our minds to wander, but if you’re frequently caught up in daydreams about other potential partners or what-if scenarios, it might be a sign that you’re not fully present in your current relationship. These fantasies could be a way of escaping boredom or looking for excitement elsewhere.
11. You’re more focused on the physical aspects of the relationship than emotional intimacy.
Source: Unsplash While physical attraction is important, a fulfilling relationship involves emotional connection as well. If you prioritise the physical aspects over getting to know your partner on a deeper level, it could be a sign that you’re using the relationship as a temporary escape from boredom rather than looking for genuine intimacy.
12. You avoid discussing the future or making long-term plans together.
Source: Unsplash If the idea of discussing future goals or making plans beyond the next weekend makes you uncomfortable, it’s worth considering why. Are you subconsciously aware that this relationship is temporary? Avoiding discussions about the future could indicate that you’re not truly invested in the long-term potential of the connection.
13. You feel a sense of emptiness even when you’re with your partner.
Source: Unsplash Even when you’re physically together, do you still feel a lingering sense of boredom or dissatisfaction? This could be a sign that the relationship isn’t fulfilling your emotional needs. While relationships can’t cure all boredom, they should ideally bring joy and contentment, not a sense of emptiness.
14. You’re easily distracted or unengaged during dates or conversations.
Source: Unsplash Do you find your mind wandering during dates or conversations with your partner? Are you more interested in checking your phone or thinking about other things? If you’re not fully present and engaged, it’s a red flag that you might be using the relationship as a filler for your time rather than genuinely enjoying the company of your partner.
15. You haven’t made any effort to integrate your partner into your daily life.
Source: Unsplash If you’re not making an effort to include your partner in your everyday routines or activities, it could be a sign that you’re not truly invested in the relationship. When you’re excited about someone, you naturally want to share your life with them, not keep them separate from your daily experiences.
16. You prioritise your own needs and desires over your partner’s.
Source: Unsplash In a healthy relationship, there’s a balance of give and take. If you consistently put your own needs and desires above your partner’s, it can create an imbalance and lead to resentment. This self-centred approach might stem from a desire to alleviate your boredom without truly considering your partner’s feelings or needs.
17. You feel like you’re “settling” for this relationship.
Source: Unsplash If you have a nagging feeling that you’re settling for less than you deserve, it’s important to listen to that intuition. Settling for a relationship out of boredom can lead to unhappiness and missed opportunities for genuine connection. It’s okay to wait for a relationship that truly excites and fulfils you.
18. You avoid deep conversations or emotional vulnerability.
Emotional intimacy is a key component of a healthy relationship. If you shy away from discussing your feelings, fears, or dreams with your partner, it could be a sign that you’re not truly invested in building a deeper connection. This avoidance might stem from a fear of getting too close or a lack of genuine interest in your partner’s inner world.
19. You don’t feel a strong sense of excitement or anticipation about the future of the relationship.
When you’re genuinely excited about someone, you can’t help but imagine a future together. If you’re not feeling that spark of anticipation or envisioning a shared future with your partner, it’s a sign that you might be more focused on the present moment and using the relationship as a temporary solution to boredom.
20. You’re more interested in the attention and validation that comes with being in a relationship.
Being in a relationship can boost our self-esteem and make us feel desirable. However, if you’re primarily motivated by the external validation and attention that comes with having a partner, it’s a red flag. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and genuine affection, not the need for external approval.
21. You’re reluctant to commit to exclusivity or define the relationship.
If you’re hesitant to commit to exclusivity or put a label on the relationship, it could be a sign that you’re not fully invested in the connection. This reluctance might stem from a fear of missing out on other options, or a subconscious awareness that you’re not truly ready for a committed relationship.
22. You find yourself easily irritated or annoyed by your partner’s quirks or habits.
Everyone has their little quirks and habits, and in a healthy relationship, we learn to accept and appreciate those differences. However, if you find yourself constantly irritated or annoyed by your partner’s idiosyncrasies, it could be a sign that you’re not truly invested in the relationship and are looking for reasons to distance yourself.
23. You feel a sense of guilt or unease about the reasons you got into the relationship.
Deep down, if you have a nagging feeling that your motivations for starting the relationship weren’t entirely genuine, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings. Honesty with yourself is crucial for building healthy relationships. If you recognise that boredom played a significant role, it’s okay to re-evaluate the situation and make choices that align with your true desires and needs.
