A narcissist isn’t just someone who loves themselves a bit too much or takes a few too many selfies.
True narcissism runs a whole lot deeper than that, and it can have a profoundly negative effect on the people in their lives. You’re better off avoiding people like this at all costs, but you can only do that if you recognise them straight away. Here are some warning signs to look out for that will help you do just that.
1. They have an inflated sense of self-importance.
Narcissists usually think they’re better than everyone else, and they have no problem exaggerating their achievements and talents to try to prove it. They constantly talk about themselves, expecting admiration and praise. They’re the main character in their own movie, and everyone else is just an extra.
2. They’re desperate for constant admiration and attention.
Validation and recognition are what narcissists live for, even from perfect strangers. They fish for compliments, brag about anything and everything under the sun, and try to monopolise conversations so that no one else can get a word in edgewise. They’re always looking for the spotlight, even in the most basic circumstances.
3. They lack basic empathy.
Narcissists don’t understand or care about anyone else’s feelings. They completely write off your concerns, belittle your problems, or even exploit your vulnerabilities. These things just don’t interest them.
4. They exploit people to achieve their own ends.
Narcissists use people to get what they want, whether it’s attention, favours, or material things. They manipulate, lie, or charm their way into getting their needs met, without any regard for the consequences for other people. That’s because they see people as tools, rather than human beings with their own needs and desires.
5. They’re insanely jealous of people.
Narcissists feel threatened by other people’s happiness or success. They act like your achievements are no big deal, constantly point out your flaws and failures, and even try to sabotage your efforts. That’s because they’re constantly comparing themselves to other people and feeling resentful when they don’t measure up.
6. They have a serious sense of entitlement.
Special treatment and privileges are the bare minimum of what a narcissist thinks they deserve in life. They expect other people to cater to their every whim, jump at their commands, or make exceptions for them. In their minds, the rules don’t apply to them, and they can do whatever they want, whenever they want.
7. They’re arrogant and haughty.
Narcissists always come across as condescending and dismissive. They interrupt you, talk over you, and roll their eyes when you’re speaking. They think their opinions are the only ones that matter, and everyone else is beneath them.
8. They have fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Narcissists often have grandiose dreams and aspirations that are out of touch with reality. They truly believe they’re destined for greatness, so they constantly fantasise about unlimited wealth and power, or expect to find the perfect partner who will adore them unconditionally. They’re living in a fantasy world of their own making.
9. They believe they’re special and unique.
Narcissists often think they’re different from everyone else, and that only special or high-status people can truly understand them. They look for exclusive clubs, surround themselves with successful people, or look down on those they see as average or ordinary. Little do they realise, they’re no better!
10. They want excessive and constant admiration.
Constant validation and praise are needed to maintain the narcissist’s inflated sense of self. They get upset if they’re not the centre of attention, and they’re always desperate for people to praise them for even the most minor thing. They’re emotional vampires who feed off other people’s admiration to sustain their fragile egos.
11. They’re interpersonally exploitative.
Narcissists often take advantage of people to get what they want. They use charm, manipulation, or even guilt to get their own way, no matter how it affects the person they’re manipulating. It’s like they’re playing a game of chess, and everyone else is just a pawn on their board.
12. They lack boundaries.
Narcissists don’t care about anyone’s personal space or boundaries. They overshare personal information, pry into your private life, and make inappropriate comments. They clearly don’t understand the concept of personal space, and they feel entitled to intrude on your life whenever they please.
13. They’re easily offended and hold grudges.
Narcissists have fragile egos, and they’re quick to take offence at any criticism. They hold grudges for years, even over minor disagreements. They thrive on drama, so letting it go isn’t in their wheelhouse.
14. They have a fragile sense of self-esteem.
Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have deep-seated insecurities and a fragile sense of self-worth. Their need for constant admiration and validation stems from a fear of being exposed as flawed or inadequate. They wear a mask of self-assurance, but underneath, they’re constantly battling self-doubt.
15. They just can’t handle criticism.
Narcissists react badly to any feedback that challenges their inflated sense of self. They get defensive, angry, or even lash out at the person offering the criticism. It’s like they’re allergic to any suggestion that they’re not perfect.
16. They’re often charming and charismatic.
Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic, especially at first. They shower you with compliments, make you feel special, and sweep you off your feet. But this charm is often a facade designed to lure you in and gain your admiration. Don’t fall for it!
17. They gaslight and manipulate.
Narcissists like to twist reality to suit their own needs. They deny things they’ve said or done, twist your words, and make you question your own sanity. It’s like they’re trying to rewrite the script of your shared experiences to make themselves look better.
18. They’re controlling and domineering.
Narcissists often try to control the people and situations around them. They micromanage your every move, make decisions for you, and isolate you from your friends and family. That’s because they want to be the puppeteers pulling the strings to make you dance to their tune.
19. They lack genuine remorse or guilt.
Narcissists rarely feel sorry for their actions, even when they hurt people. They offer insincere apologies or blame other people for their mistakes. They just can’t accept responsibility for their behaviour in any way.
20. They don’t have it in them to maintain healthy relationships.
Narcissists can never seem to keep relationships going for long. Their self-centredness, lack of empathy, and manipulative tendencies can drive people away. It’s like they’re building sandcastles on the beach, constantly watching their creations crumble and wash away.
