Relationships should get better with age, just like wine, but that’s only if you care for them properly.
It’s easy to slip into autopilot mode when you’ve been with someone for a while, forgetting the little things that made your relationship special in the first place. The good thing is that you can fix things before they’re broken irreparably. Here are some subtle ways you might be taking your partner for granted and how to change things.
1. You assume they’ll always be there.
Life is unpredictable, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. That “important” work email can wait, the laundry can pile up, and the dishes can soak. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through your phone, take a moment to look at your partner. Really look at them. Appreciate the way their eyes crinkle when they laugh, the sound of their voice, the warmth of their touch. Remind yourself of why you fell in love with them, and let them know how much they mean to you.
2. You’ve stopped flirting.
Remember those early days, filled with stolen glances, playful banter, and butterflies in your stomach? Flirting isn’t just for new couples; it’s a way to keep the spark alive in any relationship. Tease them, compliment them, and remind them of the fun, happy side of your love. Send a cheeky text, leave a flirty note on the mirror, or simply wink at them from across the room. Flirting is a fun and easy way to reconnect and remind yourselves why you’re together.
3. You’ve stopped trying new things together.
When was the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone as a couple? Trying new things together creates shared experiences, strengthens your bond, and keeps things exciting. It could be anything from taking a cooking class together to trying a new sport or even just exploring a new part of your town. Shared adventures create lasting memories and remind you why you’re the perfect team.
4. You take their quirks for granted.
The things that once made you laugh or smile might now seem annoying or irritating. Maybe it’s their messy desk, their tendency to leave socks on the floor, or their loud chewing. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to see the charm in their quirks. Remember, these are the little things that make them unique and lovable. Embrace their imperfections, and they’ll likely embrace yours too.
5. You don’t celebrate their achievements.
Whether it’s a work promotion, a personal milestone, or simply a good day, celebrating your partner’s achievements shows you’re their biggest cheerleader. It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget to acknowledge their wins, but taking the time to celebrate their successes, no matter how big or small, is a simple way to show you care and that you’re proud of them. Crack open a bottle of bubbly, cook their favourite meal, or simply give them a heartfelt hug and tell them how amazing they are.
6. You’ve stopped asking about their day.
It’s easy to fall into a routine where conversations revolve around chores, errands, and to-do lists. But taking a few minutes to genuinely ask about their day shows you’re invested in their life and want to be a part of their ups and downs. Ask open-ended questions, listen attentively, and offer support or advice when needed. A simple conversation can go a long way in strengthening your connection and reminding your partner that you’re there for them.
7. You’ve lost the element of surprise.
Remember the excitement of unexpected gifts, surprise dates, or spontaneous adventures? Bringing back that element of surprise can reignite the spark and remind your partner that you’re still thinking of ways to make them happy. It doesn’t have to be anything grand; a small gift, a handwritten note, or even just a surprise cup of tea can go a long way. The key is to show your partner that you care enough to put thought and effort into making them smile.
8. You don’t prioritize intimacy.
Intimacy is more than just physical touch; it’s about emotional connection, vulnerability, and shared moments of closeness. Whether it’s cuddling on the sofa, having a heart-to-heart conversation, or simply holding hands while walking, prioritizing intimacy is essential for a healthy relationship. It’s a way to deepen your bond, encourage trust, and remind yourselves why you’re each other’s safe haven.
9. You neglect your own needs.
It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship, putting your partner’s needs before your own. But remember, a healthy relationship is built on two whole individuals, not two halves trying to make a whole. Make time for your own hobbies, interests, and self-care. Pursue your own goals, spend time with friends, and nurture your own well-being. When you’re happy and fulfilled as an individual, you bring positive energy and vitality to the relationship, making it even stronger.
10. You forget to laugh together.
Laughter is the glue that holds relationships together. It lightens the mood, reduces stress, and creates a sense of shared joy. Make time for silliness, inside jokes, and playful banter. Watch a funny movie together, tell each other jokes, or simply reminisce about funny moments from your past. Laughter is a powerful bonding tool that can strengthen your connection and remind you of the joy you bring to each other’s lives.
11. You take their support for granted.
Whether it’s a listening ear, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on, your partner’s support is invaluable. But it’s easy to take it for granted, especially when it’s always been there. Take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate their unwavering support. Thank them for always being there for you, for believing in you, and for lifting you up when you’re down. Knowing that they have your back, no matter what, is a precious gift, and it’s important to express your gratitude for it.
12. You stop being their biggest fan.
Remember when you used to be your partner’s biggest fan, cheering them on in their pursuits and celebrating their accomplishments? That enthusiasm can wane over time, but it’s important to reignite it. Be their biggest cheerleader, encourage their dreams, and celebrate their successes. Your support can give them the confidence and motivation they need to achieve their goals and feel truly loved and appreciated.
13. You don’t express your love in their love language.
Everyone has a unique way of feeling loved and appreciated. Some people value words of affirmation, while others prefer acts of service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch. If you’re not speaking your partner’s love language, your efforts might be falling flat. Learn what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated, and make a conscious effort to express your love in ways that resonate with them. This will make them feel seen, heard, and cherished.
14. You don’t have any shared dreams anymore.
Shared dreams and aspirations are what keep a relationship moving forward. But as the years pass, it’s easy to lose sight of those dreams and settle into a comfortable routine. Take some time to reconnect with your shared vision for the future. Talk about your hopes, dreams, and goals, both individually and as a couple. Set new goals together, whether it’s planning a dream holiday, starting a new hobby, or simply growing old together. Shared dreams create a sense of purpose and excitement, keeping the spark alive and reminding you of the beautiful future you’re building together.
15. You’ve forgotten to simply have fun.
Remember when your relationship was filled with laughter, spontaneity, and carefree adventures? As life gets busier and responsibilities pile up, it’s easy to forget to have fun together. But fun is the fuel that keeps a relationship vibrant and exciting. Make time for playful activities, silly games, and spontaneous outings. Dance in the kitchen, have a pillow fight, or go on a spontaneous road trip. Remember, love is meant to be enjoyed, so let loose, laugh together, and create memories that will last a lifetime.
