Alright, lads, there’s been this “bare minimum” thing that’s been doing the rounds and I think we should talk about it.
It seems like it’s about bashing men, but really it’s about recognising when you might be coasting a bit too much and not putting in much effort in your relationships, particularly when it comes to the woman in your life. If you’re guilty of any of these behaviours, you may need to get your act together.
1. You consider texting back within a reasonable timeframe a grand gesture of affection.
Source: Unsplash I get it, sometimes you’re busy or just not in the mood for a chat. But if your idea of good communication is leaving someone hanging for hours or even days, it might be time to step up your game. A simple text back doesn’t take much effort, and it shows you care enough to keep the conversation going.
2. Your idea of a date night is Netflix and takeaway.
Sure, a cosy night in can be lovely, but if that’s the only kind of date you ever plan, it might be time to shake things up a bit. Putting a bit of effort into planning something special, even if it’s just a picnic in the park or a walk by the river, shows you’re willing to go the extra mile.
3. You only offer compliments when you want something.
Genuine compliments are a great way to show someone you appreciate them. But if your compliments always come with a hidden agenda or a request attached, they lose their sincerity. Try offering compliments just because, and see how it makes both you and the other person feel.
4. You avoid any kind of emotional vulnerability like the plague.
Opening up and sharing your feelings can be scary, but it’s also an essential part of building intimacy and connection. If you constantly bottle up your emotions or deflect any attempts at deeper conversation, it can create distance and prevent your relationships from growing.
5. You think remembering birthdays and anniversaries is optional.
These special occasions are a chance to show the people you care about how much they mean to you. Forgetting them or dismissing them as unimportant sends the message that you’re not willing to put in the effort to make them feel special.
6. You consider basic hygiene and grooming a Herculean effort.
Looking after yourself and presenting your best self shows respect for both yourself and the people around you. If you’re constantly rocking the “just rolled out of bed” look or neglecting basic hygiene, it might be time to step up your grooming game.
7. You never initiate plans or activities.
Always waiting for someone else to make the first move can make you seem passive and uninterested. Take the initiative sometimes and suggest something fun to do. It shows you’re invested in the relationship and willing to put in the effort to keep things interesting.
8. You’re always “too busy” to help out or lend a hand.
Everyone’s busy, but if you’re constantly using “being busy” as an excuse to avoid helping out friends, family, or your partner, it can come across as selfish and uncaring. Even small gestures, like offering to pick up groceries or doing the washing up, can make a big difference.
9. You rarely express gratitude or appreciation.
Saying “thank you” and acknowledging the things people do for you goes a long way in building strong and healthy relationships. If you rarely express gratitude or take people for granted, it can make them feel undervalued and unappreciated.
10. You’re always the one who flakes on plans or commitments.
Consistently cancelling plans or failing to follow through on commitments shows a lack of respect for other people’s time and efforts. It can also make you seem unreliable and flaky, which can damage your relationships and reputation.
11. You’re quick to criticise or complain, but rarely offer solutions or support.
Being negative and focusing on the problems without offering any constructive solutions or support can be draining for the people around you. Try to adopt a more positive and proactive approach, and offer help or encouragement whenever possible.
12. You avoid any kind of personal growth or self-improvement.
Stagnation and complacency can be signs of a bare minimum mindset. Strive to learn new things, develop new skills, and challenge yourself to grow as a person. This not only benefits you, but also makes you a more interesting and engaging person to be around.
13. You expect other people to do the emotional labour in your relationships.
Emotional labour involves the work of managing emotions, providing support, and maintaining healthy communication in a relationship. If you expect your partner or friends to always be the ones initiating conversations, resolving conflicts, or offering emotional support, it can create an imbalance and strain the relationship.
14. You’re always looking for the easy way out or the path of least resistance.
Taking the easy route might seem tempting in the short term, but it can lead to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and embrace challenges. You might be surprised at what you’re capable of achieving.
15. You prioritise your own needs and desires above other people’s.
Healthy relationships involve a balance of give and take. If you’re constantly putting your own needs and desires first, without considering other people’s needs, it can create resentment and strain your relationships.
16. You avoid taking responsibility for your actions or mistakes.
Blaming other people or making excuses for your shortcomings is a classic sign of a bare minimum mindset. Owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions shows maturity and integrity.
17. You’re content with mediocrity and don’t strive for excellence in any area of your life.
Settling for “good enough” and not pushing yourself to reach your full potential can lead to a sense of unfulfilment and dissatisfaction. Strive for excellence in your work, relationships, and personal pursuits. Embrace challenges and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
