The pain of being cheated on can be overwhelming, and it’s tempting to want to “get back” at your partner.
Revenge cheating seems good when you’re feeling hurt and angry. You give your partner a taste of their own medicine and then, this way, you’re “even.” Of course, things don’t actually work like that. Here’s why you should either work through the issues that led to the cheating and the loss of trust it called, or end the relationship altogether.
1. It won’t make you feel better in the long run.
Sure, there might be a fleeting moment of satisfaction, but that feeling is temporary. In the long run, revenge cheating often leads to more guilt, shame, and emotional turmoil. It doesn’t address the root of the problem, and it certainly won’t heal your broken heart.
2. It will damage your already fragile relationship even more.
If there’s even a glimmer of hope for reconciliation, revenge cheating will likely extinguish it. Infidelity, even when done in retaliation, is a breach of trust that’s hard to come back from. It can create a cycle of hurt and betrayal, making it even harder to rebuild a healthy relationship.
3. It can complicate your own emotional healing process.
Cheating, even as a form of revenge, creates some complex and often overwhelming emotions. You might feel guilty, ashamed, or even more confused about your own feelings. It can distract you from the important work of processing your own pain and healing from the original betrayal.
4. It might not even have the desired effect on your partner.
Your partner might not react the way you expect them to. They might not care, they might be relieved, or they might even use it as justification for their own actions. Revenge cheating rarely leads to the remorse or regret you might be hoping for.
5. It can damage your self-respect and sense of integrity.
Cheating, even in retaliation, goes against your own values and principles. It can leave you feeling compromised and morally conflicted. It’s important to maintain your own sense of integrity, even in the face of betrayal. Don’t let someone else’s actions dictate your own moral compass.
6. It can create unnecessary drama and complications in your life.
Revenge cheating can open a Pandora’s box of drama and complications. It might involve lying, sneaking around, and dealing with the emotional fallout of a new entanglement. It’s rarely a clean break and can create more problems than it solves.
7. It can distract you from focusing on what you truly need and deserve in a relationship.
Instead of focusing on healing and moving forward, revenge cheating can keep you stuck in a cycle of negativity and resentment. It’s important to take the time to reflect on what you truly need and deserve in a relationship, and to focus on finding a partner who will treat you with love and respect.
8. It can set a negative precedent for future relationships.
If you resort to cheating as a way to deal with betrayal, it can create a pattern of unhealthy behaviour that might carry over into future relationships. It’s important to break the cycle and learn healthier ways to cope with hurt and disappointment.
9. It doesn’t address the underlying issues in your relationship.
Infidelity is often a symptom of deeper problems within a relationship. Revenge cheating doesn’t address those underlying issues; it merely masks them with a temporary distraction. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, go to couples counselling if necessary, and work together to address the root causes of the betrayal.
10. It can lead to feelings of emptiness and regret.
The initial thrill of revenge cheating often fades quickly, leaving you feeling empty and unfulfilled. You might regret your actions and wish you had handled the situation differently. It’s important to make choices that align with your values, not just your immediate emotions.
11. It can create a sense of moral ambiguity and confusion.
Cheating, even in retaliation, can blur the lines between right and wrong. It can make you question your own moral compass and create a sense of internal conflict. It’s important to stay true to your values and avoid actions that compromise your integrity.
12. It can be a distraction from focusing on your own healing and self-worth.
Healing from betrayal takes time and effort. Revenge cheating can distract you from the important work of rebuilding your self-esteem and finding inner peace. Focus on self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and work with a professional if you really do want to get through this.
13. It can lead to further emotional pain and heartbreak.
Engaging in a new relationship while still reeling from the pain of betrayal can be emotionally risky. You might end up getting hurt again, or you might find yourself unable to fully commit to the new relationship due to unresolved feelings from the past. It’s important to give yourself time to heal before jumping into another relationship.
14. It doesn’t guarantee that your partner will change their behaviour or feel remorse.
Revenge cheating is not a magic solution to make your partner suddenly see the error of their ways. They might not even care or feel remorse for their actions. Focus on your own healing, and don’t rely on external validation or change from your partner to find closure.
15. It can create a toxic cycle of revenge and retaliation.
If you cheat on your partner in retaliation, they might feel justified in cheating again, creating a never-ending cycle of hurt and betrayal. It’s important to break the cycle and choose a path of healing and growth, rather than perpetuating the negativity.
16. It can damage your reputation and relationships with other people, too.
Cheating, even as a form of revenge, can have consequences for your reputation and relationships with friends and family. People might judge you or question your character. It’s important to consider the potential long-term impact of your actions on your social circle and personal life.
