Checking in with yourself isn’t some woo-woo, new-agey practise, or at least it shouldn’t be.
Source: Unsplash Self-reflection isn’t just healthy, it’s a must if you want to process your experiences and grow as a person. It also increases self-awareness, which helps you live more intentionally. Naturally reflective people know this, which is why they always ask themselves these questions. We should take a page from their book!
1. Am I scrolling my life away on social media?
Source: Unsplash Reflective people always pause to consider how much of their precious time is being gobbled up by the social media monster. They ask themselves if those hours spent double-tapping and retweeting are adding value to their lives, or just filling a void. They don’t demonise technology, but they do want to be intentional about how they use it.
2. What would my younger self think of me now?
They’re not interested in living up to childhood fantasies of being an astronaut or a rock star; they just want to reconnect with the core values and dreams that shaped them. Reflective people use this question to check if they’re still aligned with their authentic selves, or if they’ve strayed off course.
3. Am I surrounding myself with people who challenge me to grow?
Your social circle can be your biggest cheerleader or your biggest anchor. Reflective people regularly question whether their relationships are pushing them to evolve or keeping them stagnant. They don’t cut everyone out who disagrees with them, but they do make sure they’re not just living in an echo chamber.
4. What’s the last new skill I learned just for the joy of it?
Everyone is obsessed with productivity and side hustles, but reflective people remember the importance of learning for learning’s sake. They ask themselves when they last picked up a new hobby or skill simply because it interested them, not because it would look good on a CV or generate income. That’s what makes life worth living, after all.
5. How often do I say ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no’?
Boundaries are the unsung heroes of mental health, and reflective people know this well. They regularly check in with themselves about their people-pleasing tendencies and whether they’re overextending themselves. They never want to be selfish, but they do want to be honest with themselves and other people about their limitations and needs. Don’t we all owe ourselves at least that?
6. What’s the story I keep telling myself that’s holding me back?
We all have internal narratives, those little voices in our heads that shape how we see ourselves and the world. Reflective people make a habit of examining these stories and questioning their validity. Maybe it’s the belief that you’re ‘not a maths person’ or that you’re ‘too old to change careers’. These self-limiting beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies if left unchecked. Don’t let that happen!
7. When was the last time I did something that scared me?
Source: Unsplash Comfort zones are cosy, but they’re not where growth happens. Reflective people regularly push themselves to step outside of that space, even in small ways. They don’t take unnecessary risks, but they do challenge themselves to be better, which is something we should all aspire to do.
8. How am I contributing to the world beyond my own needs?
Source: Unsplash It’s far too easy to get caught up in our own problems and forget the bigger picture, which is why reflective people regularly ask themselves how they’re making a positive impact on the world around them. They’re not trying to solve the world’s problems, but they would like to find ways to contribute, however small.
9. Am I treating my body like a temple or a skip?
Source: Unsplash Reflective people know that their physical health impacts every other aspect of their lives. They regularly check in on their relationship with their body. Are they fuelling it with healthy food or relying on Deliveroo and caffeine to get through the day? Is exercise a regular part of their routine, or something they always plan to start ‘next week’? They’re all about treating their bodies with the respect they deserve.
10. What’s the last book that changed my perspective?
Despite all the clickbait headlines and 280-character hot takes out there, reflective people make time for deeper, more nuanced thinking. When was the last time you read something that made you reconsider your stance on an issue, or introduced you to a completely new way of thinking? If you can’t remember, it might be time to diversify your reading list.
11. How often do I catch myself playing the comparison game?
Thanks to celebrities and now social media influencers, it’s far too easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Reflective people are aware of this tendency and regularly check themselves. Recognising when you’re playing the comparison game is the first step to breaking free from it.
12. What’s my relationship with silence?
Reflective people understand the value of quiet and regularly assess their comfort level with it. Do you immediately reach for your phone when there’s a lull in conversation? Do you always have the TV on for background noise? Learning to be comfortable with silence can lead to deeper self-awareness and better connection with the world around us, too.
13. Am I living my values, or just talking about them?
It’s easy to espouse grand ideals, but living them out is a whole other story. Reflective people regularly examine whether their actions align with the values they claim to hold. Do you pride yourself on being environmentally conscious, but still use single-use plastics? Do you value honesty, but find yourself telling white lies to avoid confrontation? Figuring out where your discrepancies lie doesn’t mean beating yourself up, but it does give you opportunities to live more authentically.
14. What would I do differently if I knew no one would judge me?
Source: Unsplash Fear of judgment can be a powerful force, and it can hold us back from living the life we really want. Reflective people use this question to uncover their true desires, free from societal expectations. Would you quit your stable job to pursue a creative passion? Would you express yourself differently if you weren’t worried about fitting in? You don’t need to throw caution to the wind, but figure out where you might want to take some more calculated risks.
