Going out with someone for the first time can be exciting as well as terrifying.
It’s natural to feel some level of anxiety on a first date, but if it becomes so overwhelming that you almost want to cancel altogether, something has to change. Here’s how to calm your panic so you can actually enjoy yourself.
1. Choose a familiar venue for your date.
Picking a place you’re comfortable with can make the whole experience way less anxiety-inducing. If you’re familiar with the menu, atmosphere, and layout, you’ll feel more at ease. This could be your favourite café, a local park, or a museum you’ve visited before. Knowing your surroundings allows you to focus more on your date and less on navigating a new environment.
2. Remind yourself that it’s just a conversation.
At its core, a first date is simply a chat with someone new. Try not to build it up into something more intimidating in your mind. Remember, your date is probably feeling nervous too. Approaching the date as a casual conversation can help take the pressure off and allow you to be more relaxed and authentic.
3. Plan a pre-date ritual.
Developing a calming routine before your date can help settle your nerves. This could involve listening to your favourite music while getting ready, doing some light exercise, or practising deep breathing exercises. Having a ritual can give you a sense of control and help you transition into a more positive mindset.
4. Avoid caffeine overload before the date.
While you might be tempted to grab an extra coffee for an energy boost, too much caffeine can amplify feelings of anxiety. It can make you jittery and increase your heart rate, which might be mistaken for nervousness. Stick to your usual caffeine intake, or consider a calming herbal tea instead.
5. Try to arrive a bit early.
Source: Unsplash Anxiety often stems from overthinking about how we’re coming across. Try shifting your focus to your date instead. Be genuinely curious about them — ask questions, listen attentively, and show interest in their responses. This takes the pressure off you and helps create a meaningful connection.
7. Have some conversation starters ready.
Source: Unsplash Having a few topics in mind can ease the worry of awkward silences. Think about current events, shared interests, or fun, light-hearted questions. Remember, the goal isn’t to script the entire conversation, but to have a few go-to topics if the chat naturally lulls.
8. Try to reframe your nervous energy as excitement.
Source: Unsplash Physiologically, anxiety and excitement are quite similar. Both can cause a racing heart and butterflies in your stomach. Try telling yourself you’re excited rather than anxious. This simple mental shift can help you view the date more positively and approach it with enthusiasm rather than dread.
9. Remember that perfection isn’t the goal.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to put pressure on yourself to be the perfect date, but that’s not realistic or necessary. Everyone has awkward moments or says things they wish they hadn’t. It’s part of being human. Embrace the imperfections — they can often lead to genuine, endearing moments that create a real connection.
10. Plan a post-date activity.
Source: Unsplash Having something planned for after the date can give you something to look forward to and prevent you from obsessing over how the date went. Whether it’s meeting a friend, watching your favourite show, or taking a relaxing bath, having a plan can help you stay grounded and not get too caught up in analysing every moment of the date.
11. Try some discreet calming techniques during the date.
If you feel anxiety creeping in during the date, there are subtle techniques you can use to calm yourself. Try taking a few deep breaths, grounding yourself by focusing on your surroundings, or excusing yourself to the restroom for a quick moment to collect yourself. These small actions can help you regain your composure without drawing attention.
12. Wear something that makes you feel confident.
Choosing an outfit that you feel comfortable and confident in can boost your self-assurance. This doesn’t mean you need to dress formally — just pick something that makes you feel like the best version of yourself. When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows in your body language and overall demeanour.
13. Set realistic expectations.
Source: Unsplash Remember, the purpose of a first date is simply to meet someone new and see if there’s a connection. It’s not about determining if this person is ‘the one’ or if you’ll have a second date. By keeping your expectations realistic, you can take some of the pressure off and enjoy the experience for what it is.
14. Indulge in a little self-care before the date.
Source: Unsplash Taking care of yourself before the date can help you feel more centred and confident. This could involve taking a relaxing shower, doing some light stretching, or even treating yourself to a small indulgence. When you feel good physically, it can have a positive impact on your mental state.
15. Try to be present in the moment.
Source: Unsplash Anxiety often involves worrying about the future or overthinking the past. Try to focus on the present moment during your date. Engage fully in the conversation, savour your food or drink, and take in your surroundings. Being present can help reduce anxiety and allow you to enjoy the experience more fully.
16. Remember that it’s okay if it doesn’t work out.
Source: Unsplash Finally, remind yourself that it’s perfectly fine if there isn’t a spark or if you don’t click with your date. Not every date will lead to a relationship, and that’s okay. Viewing the date as an opportunity to meet someone new, rather than a make-or-break situation, can help alleviate a lot of pressure and anxiety.
