Whether it’s a new friend or a potential romantic interest, it can be tough to know when someone just isn’t feeling you.
They might not come right out and say that your personality doesn’t gel with theirs or that they don’t feel a spark with you, but their true feelings are easy enough to pick up on if you know what you’re looking for. If any of these things are happening, they’re not your biggest fan.
1. They take ages to reply to your messages.
Source: Unsplash You’ve sent them a text, and now you’re waiting… and waiting… and waiting. When they finally do reply, it’s usually with a short, vague message that doesn’t really invite further conversation. This isn’t about being busy — e all have our phones glued to our hands these days. If they’re consistently slow to respond, it might be a sign they’re not particularly excited to chat with you.
2. They’re always “too busy” to hang out.
Every time you suggest meeting up, they’ve got some excuse. Work’s mental, they’ve got family commitments, their cat needs a bath — whatever it is, they always seem to have a reason why they can’t see you. While everyone has busy periods, if this is a constant pattern, it might be their way of avoiding spending time with you without having to say it outright.
3. Their body language screams “get me out of here”.
When you do manage to meet up, pay attention to their body language. Are they constantly checking their phone? Do they seem fidgety or distracted? Are they angling their body away from you? These subtle physical cues can speak volumes about how comfortable (or uncomfortable) they feel in your presence.
4. They never initiate contact.
Think about it — when was the last time they reached out to you first? If you’re always the one starting conversations or suggesting plans, it might be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you are. A healthy connection involves effort from both sides, after all.
5. They give you one-word answers.
Source: Unsplash When you’re trying to have a conversation, their responses are shorter than a Tesco receipt. “Yeah”, “Nah”, “Dunno” — it’s like pulling teeth trying to get more than a word or two out of them. This lack of engagement in conversation is often a sign that they’re not particularly interested in what you have to say.
6. They avoid physical contact.
Source: Unsplash If you’re in a romantic or potentially romantic situation, pay attention to their physical boundaries. Do they shy away from hugs? Do they seem uncomfortable if you touch their arm while talking? While everyone has different comfort levels with physical touch, a noticeable aversion could be a sign they’re not feeling a connection.
7. They don’t remember details about you.
Source: Unsplash You’ve told them about your upcoming job interview three times, but they still ask, “Oh, when is that again?” When someone’s genuinely interested in you, they tend to remember the important stuff. If they’re constantly forgetting key details about your life, it might be because they’re not paying much attention.
8. They’re always looking for an escape route.
Source: Unsplash When you’re together, do they seem to be constantly on the lookout for a reason to leave? Maybe they keep mentioning how early they need to be up tomorrow, or they’re always the first to suggest calling it a night. If they’re eager to end your time together, it might be a sign they’re not enjoying it as much as you are.
9. They don’t make future plans with you.
When you mention something coming up in the future — a concert next month, a holiday you’re planning — they don’t show any interest in being part of it. They might nod along, but they never suggest making concrete plans to join you. This reluctance to commit to future events could be their way of signalling that they don’t see you in their long-term picture.
10. They’re vague about their own plans.
On the flip side, they’re incredibly vague about their own schedule. When you ask what they’re up to at the weekend, they give non-committal answers like “Oh, not sure yet” or “Probably just chilling”. This could be their way of keeping their options open — and keeping you at arm’s length.
11. They don’t introduce you to their friends or family.
Source: Unsplash If you’ve been seeing each other for a while, but you’ve never met any of their mates or family members, that could be a red flag. When someone’s genuinely interested in you, they usually want to integrate you into their life. If they’re keeping you separate, it might be because they don’t see the relationship progressing.
12. They’re hot and cold.
One day, they’re all chatty and friendly, the next they’re distant and aloof. This inconsistency can be maddening, but it’s often a sign that they’re not fully committed to the relationship. They might enjoy your company sometimes, but not enough to maintain a consistent connection.
13. They don’t ask you questions about yourself.
Source: Unsplash When you’re chatting, do you find that you’re doing all the heavy lifting in the conversation? If they rarely ask you questions about your life, your thoughts, or your feelings, it could be because they’re not particularly interested in getting to know you better.
14. They’re always on their phone when you’re together.
Source: Unsplash In this day and age, it’s normal to check your phone occasionally. But if they’re constantly scrolling through social media or texting other people when you’re supposed to be spending time together, it’s a pretty clear sign that you don’t have their full attention — or interest.
15. They don’t seem to care about your opinions.
When you’re discussing something — whether it’s a film you’ve just watched or a more serious topic — do they seem dismissive of your views? If they’re not interested in hearing your perspective or engaging in meaningful discussions with you, it might be because they’re not invested in the relationship.
16. They don’t make an effort with their appearance around you.
While nobody needs to dress up all the time, if they consistently look as if they’ve just rolled out of bed when they see you, it might be a sign they’re not trying to impress you anymore. This is especially telling if you know they make more of an effort for other people or events.
