When you meet a man you truly connect with, it can be tempting to overlook the red flags that not all is as it seems.
However, as the old saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Here are some signs a man isn’t who he’s pretending to be — proceed with caution!
1. He’s always got an excuse for why you can’t meet his mates.
If he’s constantly coming up with reasons why you can’t hang out with his friends, it might be because they don’t exist — or worse, they don’t know about you. A genuine bloke would be eager to show you off to his social circle. Constant excuses could mean he’s hiding something or someone.
2. His social media presence is practically non-existent.
In today’s digital age, it’s a bit odd if someone has zero online footprint. While not everyone is glued to their phone, a complete lack of social media presence might indicate he’s trying to keep his life under wraps. He could be hiding a partner or crafting a false identity.
3. He’s overly defensive when you ask about his past.
We all have baggage, but if he gets his knickers in a twist every time you bring up his history, something’s amiss. A man with nothing to hide should be open about his past, even if it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Excessive defensiveness often means there are skeletons in the closet.
4. His stories don’t quite add up.
Pay attention to the details he shares about his life. If you notice inconsistencies or catch him changing his story, it’s a red flag. A truthful person’s tales remain consistent over time. If you find yourself thinking, “Hang on, that’s not what he said last week,” trust your gut.
5. He’s overly secretive with his phone.
While everyone deserves privacy, there’s a difference between respecting boundaries and being suspiciously protective. If he panic-flips his phone face-down when you’re around or never leaves it unattended, he might be hiding messages or dating apps that he doesn’t want you to see.
6. He’s a chameleon, changing his personality to fit the crowd.
If you notice he acts completely different around various groups of people, it could be a sign he’s not comfortable in his own skin. A genuine man maintains a consistent personality regardless of who he’s with. Drastic changes might indicate he’s putting on an act to impress or fit in.
7. He’s vague about his job or financial situation.
A man who’s honest about who he is should be able to clearly explain what he does for a living. If he’s always dodgy about his work or gives conflicting information about his finances, he might be exaggerating his success or hiding financial troubles.
8. He love-bombs you with grand gestures early on.
Whilst romantic gestures are lovely, be wary of a man who goes overboard too quickly. Excessive flattery and lavish gifts early in a relationship can be a tactic to distract you from red flags or to fast-track intimacy before you really know him.
9. He’s always the victim in his stories.
If every tale he tells paints him as the wronged party, it’s worth a second look. Nobody’s always the victim. A man who can’t take responsibility for his actions or admit to his mistakes might be manipulating the truth to make himself look better.
10. He’s oddly reluctant to introduce you to his family.
Family dynamics can be complicated, but if you’ve been dating for a while, and he’s still finding reasons to keep you away from his relatives, it’s suspicious. He might be hiding a whole other life or misleading his family about his relationship status.
11. His future plans are always vague.
A man who’s serious about you should be able to include you in his vision for the future. If he’s always non-committal about plans or avoids talking about where he sees himself down the line, he might not be as invested in the relationship as he claims.
12. He’s overly interested in your finances or personal information.
Whilst it’s normal to share details as you get closer, be cautious if he seems unusually keen on knowing about your bank accounts, passwords, or other sensitive information. This could be a sign of ulterior motives or potential financial exploitation.
13. His emotions seem rehearsed or insincere.
Trust your instincts if his emotional responses feel off. If his reactions seem exaggerated, ill-timed, or just plain weird, it might be because they’re not genuine. Authentic emotions, even when intense, usually feel natural and appropriate to the situation.
14. He’s overly controlling about your appearance or behaviour.
A man who’s comfortable with himself won’t try to mould you into someone else. If he’s constantly critiquing how you dress, who you hang out with, or how you act in public, it could be a sign he’s more concerned with his image than your happiness.
15. He’s reluctant to make the relationship official.
If you’ve been seeing each other for a while, but he’s dragging his feet about making it official, he might not be as committed as he claims. A man who’s actually into you won’t hesitate to let the world know you’re together.
16. He’s oddly knowledgeable about lying and deception.
While it’s not inherently suspicious to understand human behaviour, be wary if he seems to have an unusually deep knowledge of manipulation tactics or how to spot lies. He might be such an expert because he has personal experience in deceiving people.
17. He’s quick to accuse you of cheating or lying.
Often, those who are dishonest themselves project their behaviour onto other people. If he’s constantly accusing you of being unfaithful or dishonest without any evidence, it might be because he’s guilty of those things himself.
18. His grand promises rarely materialise.
Actions speak louder than words. If he’s full of big talk about future plans or promises but rarely follows through, it’s a sign that his words might be empty. An authentic man will make efforts to keep his word, even if things don’t always go to plan.
