Remember those carefree days before you were part of a couple?
Don’t get me wrong, relationships can be wonderful, but sometimes we can’t help missing certain aspects of single life. If you’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic for your pre-relationship days, it’s worth questioning why that might be. Here are some signs that might show you’re pining for your old life, even if you don’t realise it.
1. You daydream about having the entire bed to yourself.
Sure, cuddling is nice, but do you find yourself longing for those starfish-sleeping days? If you’re constantly thinking about how lovely it would be to sprawl across the entire mattress without an elbow in your ribs, it might be a sign you’re missing your solo sleeping arrangements.
2. You’re reluctant to merge your belongings.
Still keeping your books separate? Hesitant to mingle your music collections? If you’re finding it hard to create shared spaces, it could be because you’re clinging to your independent identity. It’s okay to have your own things, but being overly protective of your stuff might indicate you’re not fully embracing the ‘ours’ aspect of your relationship.
3. You keep your old single-person routines, even when they don’t fit your new life.
Still meal prepping for one, or loving your Sunday morning lie-ins when your partner wants to go for brunch? Keeping routines that don’t accommodate your partner might be a way of preserving your old life, but relationships do require compromise, you know!
4. You’re constantly checking social media updates from your single friends.
Source: Unsplash If you obsessively scroll through the profiles of your unattached friends, it’s a clear sign you might be missing the single life. It’s natural to be curious, but if you’re living vicariously through their posts, it might be time to examine why.
5. You’re reluctant to make couple friends.
You avoid double dates and always turn down invitations from other couples. You’re avoiding making new connections as part of a pair, and it could be because you’re holding on to your old social dynamics. Don’t you want to grow and evolve?
6. You compare everything to how it was when you were single.
“I used to be able to watch whatever I wanted on telly.” “I never had to compromise on holiday destinations before.” Idealising your past, are you? Try to appreciate your current situation for what it is, rather than measuring it against your memories.
7. You’re holding on to items that don’t fit your current lifestyle.
Still have that ‘single and ready to mingle’ t-shirt, or a wardrobe full of clothes more suited to nights out than nights in? Keeping items that don’t fit your current life might be a way of clinging to your past identity. It’s okay to let go of things that no longer serve you.
8. You’re resistant to trying new things with your partner.
If you’re always saying “no” to new experiences your partner suggests, it might be because you’re comfortable with what you know, but relationships often grow through shared experiences. Doing new things together can help strengthen your bond.
9. You daydream about “what if” scenarios of your single life.
Caught yourself wondering what would have happened if you had stayed single? While it’s normal to have occasional thoughts like these, if they’re consuming a lot of your mental energy, it’s a sign you might be struggling to fully embrace your relationship.
10. You’re overly nostalgic about your old flat or living situation.
If you’ve moved in together, it’s natural to miss your old space sometimes. But if you find yourself constantly talking about how great your old flat was and how nothing measures up, it might be preventing you from creating a happy shared home.
11. You don’t like to make long-term plans with your partner.
Hesitant to commit to future plans like holidays or bigger commitments? This could be a sign that you’re not fully invested in your relationship. Making plans for the future can help you feel more connected and give you things to look forward to together.
12. You’re maintaining ‘single’ habits that don’t suit a relationship.
You still flirt with the barista at your local cafe, and you never mention to people that you’re coupled up. Some habits that were fine when you were single might not be appropriate now. If you’re clinging to these behaviours, it might be time to reflect on why.
13. You’re overly critical of your relationship.
Finding fault with everything your partner does is not a good look. It’s easy to be critical when you’re comparing everything to an idealised version of your past. Try to approach your relationship with an open mind and look for the positives.
14. You avoid couple-y activities or public displays of affection.
Do you cringe at the thought of holding hands in public, or avoid typical couple activities like romantic dinners or weekend getaways? If you’re hesitant to engage in couply behaviour, it might be because you’re not fully comfortable with your new status.
15. You never want to share details about your relationship with friends.
If you’re always downplaying your relationship when talking to friends, it might be because you’re not fully embracing your new life as part of a couple. It’s okay to be excited about your relationship — true friends will be happy for you, even if things have changed. The question is, do you want them to?
