You likely already know that expressing how you’re feeling is healthy, but actually doing it is easier said than done.
For many people, talking about what’s going on inside doesn’t come naturally. In fact, it can be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. However, the alternative is bottling up your feelings, which could really come back to bite you in the long run. Here are some signs you’re guilty of this self-sabotaging behaviour.
1. You often say “I’m fine” when you’re not.
If “I’m fine” is your go-to response, even when you’re anything but fine, it might be a red flag. It’s an easy way to dodge talking about your real feelings. Over time, always putting on a brave face can create a gap between how you feel inside and what you show to the world. This can make you feel isolated or misunderstood because people don’t see the real you.
2. You experience frequent headaches or unexplained pain.
Ever notice how stress and emotions can manifest physically? Recurring headaches, back pain, or other unexplained aches might be your body’s way of saying something’s up. When you suppress your feelings, they often find another way to express themselves. It’s like your body is waving a flag, trying to get your attention.
3. You find it hard to identify your emotions.
If someone asks you what’s wrong, and you genuinely don’t know what to say, it could be because you’re not in touch with your emotions. Pushing aside your feelings can make it hard to identify them over time. You might feel numb or disconnected, unsure of what you’re actually experiencing inside.
4. You often feel irritable or short-tempered.
Find yourself getting annoyed over little things or snapping at people for no big reason? Bottled-up emotions can leak out as irritability or anger. It’s like the feelings you push down are looking for any escape route they can find. This can strain your relationships and leave you feeling guilty or confused about your reactions.
5. You avoid conflict at all costs.
If you go out of your way to dodge disagreements or tough conversations, you might be suppressing your true thoughts and feelings. Avoiding conflict can seem easier in the moment, but it often means important issues go unresolved. This can lead to resentment and misunderstandings down the line.
6. You have sudden emotional outbursts.
Ever had a moment where you suddenly break down or explode with emotion, seemingly out of nowhere? When you keep your feelings bottled up, they can build up pressure until they burst. These unexpected outbursts might catch you and other people off guard, and they can be overwhelming to deal with.
7. You have trouble sleeping or have a lot of nightmares.
Struggling to fall asleep, waking up a lot during the night, or having vivid, unsettling dreams? Suppressed emotions can mess with your sleep. It’s like your mind is trying to process those feelings while you’re not consciously blocking them. Poor sleep can make everything feel harder, adding to stress and emotional strain.
8. You use food, alcohol, or other substances to numb your feelings.
If you find yourself reaching for a drink, overeating, or turning to other substances to escape how you’re feeling, it’s a sign you might be avoiding your emotions. These coping mechanisms might offer temporary relief, but they don’t solve the underlying issues. Plus, they can lead to other problems down the road.
9. You can’t accept compliments or positive feedback.
Do you brush off compliments or feel uncomfortable when someone praises you? This might stem from deeper feelings about your self-worth. If you’re bottling up emotions related to how you see yourself, positive feedback can feel undeserved or awkward. It might be hard to believe the good things people say about you.
10. You overthink and overanalyse everything.
Do you replay conversations in your head or obsess over decisions you’ve made? Overthinking can be a way to avoid feeling your emotions directly. By staying in your head, you might be trying to intellectually process feelings instead of experiencing them. This can be mentally exhausting and keep you stuck in a loop.
11. You struggle with intimacy in relationships.
If opening up to people or getting close feels challenging, it might be because you’re holding back emotionally. Keeping your feelings bottled up can create distance between you and everyone around you. This can make it hard to build deep, meaningful relationships, leaving you feeling lonely or disconnected.
12. You often feel tired or low on energy.
Suppressing emotions takes a lot of effort, even if you don’t realise it. This constant internal work can leave you feeling drained or exhausted without a clear physical reason. It’s like carrying around an invisible weight that wears you out over time.
13. You have a perfectionistic streak.
Do you feel the need to have everything just right or worry about making mistakes? Striving for perfection can sometimes be a way to avoid dealing with feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure. By focusing on keeping everything perfect, you might be sidestepping deeper emotions that make you uncomfortable.
14. You rarely cry or express strong emotions.
If you find it hard to cry or express feelings like anger, joy, or sadness—even when it’s appropriate—it might be a sign you’re bottling things up. Holding back emotions can prevent you from experiencing and processing them naturally. This emotional restraint can make it harder to connect with other people and yourself.
