Your personality is probably pretty decent already, but if you’ve always wished it could be better, you can improve it.
Maybe you want to be more outgoing, overthink conversations, less, or be a bit funnier. Whatever ways you want to up your game when it comes to how you express yourself and connect with other people, here are some things to consider and habits to introduce that should help you out.
1. Listening happens when you stop planning your response.
We’ve all caught ourselves rehearsing our next brilliant point while someone else is mid-story. The thing is, those moments when we truly tune in, without planning our response, something shifts. You start picking up on subtle cues you missed before. The speaker feels it too. They open up more, share deeper thoughts, and suddenly conversations have more layers than before. It’s wild how much richer relationships become when you catch yourself planning responses and redirect that energy into genuine curiosity.
2. Uncomfortable emotions are better teachers than distractions.
Picture this: You’re feeling down about a work situation, and your immediate instinct is to scroll through social media or grab a snack to distract yourself. We all do it. But there’s something powerful about pausing and just letting yourself feel what you’re feeling. Like building a muscle, each time you allow yourself to experience an emotion without jumping to fix it, you become more comfortable with the full range of human experience. This doesn’t mean wallowing – it means developing emotional resilience.
3. Changing your mind is a strength, not a weakness.
Remember that time you stuck with a decision just because you’d already announced it? Maybe it was a career path or a relationship that wasn’t working. Here’s the thing about openly changing your mind: it’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of growth. When you get comfortable acknowledging your evolving thoughts, you give other people permission to do the same. Plus, there’s something incredibly freeing about dropping the need to always be right or consistent.
4. Your inner critic can become your best teacher.
That voice in your head that loves to point out every little mistake? Instead of trying to silence it completely (which rarely works anyway), try shifting its role. When you catch yourself in harsh self-judgment, pause and get curious instead. Rather than “I always mess up presentations,” try “Interesting – what made that moment challenging?” This subtle shift from criticism to curiosity opens up space for actual growth rather than self-punishment.
5. Being wrong gracefully opens more doors than being right.
We all hate being wrong, but here’s a game-changer: the next time someone corrects you about a fact or points out a mistake, resist the urge to defend or explain. Instead, try responding with “Oh, I didn’t know that” or “You’re right, I made a mistake there.” Watch how this simple shift changes the entire dynamic of your interactions. People start seeing you as more approachable and authentic.
6. Comfortable silence creates deeper connections.
Think about how often you jump to fill quiet moments because they feel awkward. But some of the deepest connections happen in those pause points between words. Start small – try letting a conversation breathe for a few seconds longer than usual. You’ll notice people often share their most genuine thoughts in these spaces, and conversations naturally become more meaningful.
7. Kindness matters more than winning arguments.
We’ve all been in those situations where we could win an argument, but at what cost? Sometimes you see someone make a small mistake or say something slightly incorrect, and you feel that urge to correct them. Ask yourself: will this correction add value, or am I just proving my knowledge? Choosing to let small things slide often builds stronger relationships than being the person who’s always right.
8. Meaningful compliments change both the giver and receiver.
Move beyond the usual “nice outfit” comments and notice the things that really make someone unique. Maybe it’s how they always manage to ask thoughtful questions, or how they remember small, seemingly inconsequential details about other people’s lives. Pointing out these meaningful qualities makes people feel truly seen and trains you to look for the good in people.
9. Your quirks make you memorable.
Remember trying to hide that weird laugh or unusual hobby? Those distinctive traits you’ve been toning down might actually be what makes you memorable and endearing to people. Start small – let one of your quirks show up naturally in conversation. You might find that people are drawn to your authenticity rather than put off by your differences.
10. Taking up space lets other people do the same.
Think about how often you apologise for expressing needs or sharing opinions. Start noticing when you physically or emotionally make yourself smaller to avoid inconveniencing anyone. Your ideas, feelings, and presence deserve space in this world. Practise stating your needs clearly or sharing your thoughts without downplaying them first.
11. Fear-based decisions keep you playing small.
Look back at your recent choices – how many were driven by fear of failure or judgment rather than potential for growth? Start small: next time you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself what you’d choose if fear wasn’t in the equation. This simple shift can lead to braver choices and unexpected opportunities.
12. Boundaries create stronger connections.
Think of the last time you said yes when you really wanted to say no. Setting boundaries isn’t about building walls – it’s about defining the space you need to be your best self. Start with small nos: “I can’t make it tonight” without adding a lengthy explanation. Watch how respecting your own limits actually strengthens your relationships.
13. Half-baked ideas spark better conversations.
Remember holding back thoughts because they weren’t perfectly formed? Those rough ideas often spark the most interesting conversations. Start throwing out your “what if” thoughts more often. You’ll find that people are more drawn to your authentic thinking process than to polished presentations.
14. People surprise you when you let them.
Source: Unsplash We all make snap judgments, but some of the best connections come from being proven wrong about someone. Next time you meet someone new, catch yourself making assumptions and consciously set them aside. Stay curious about who they might turn out to be. You’d be amazed how often people surprise you in the best ways when you leave room for it.
