You might prefer to see the best in people, but not everyone is worthy of your optimism.
Some people will take any chance they get to screw you over, so long as it means they get their own way in life. Trust has to be earned, not given, and there are some people who don’t deserve yours ever, under any circumstances. How do you know when you’re dealing with one? Look for these behaviours — if you notice them, guard yourself in their presence.
1. The story always changes when they retell it.
Source: Unsplash At first, you might think they’re just remembering details differently. But then you notice how their version of events shifts depending on who’s listening. The facts get tweaked, roles get reassigned, and somehow they always end up looking better in each retelling. When stories become this fluid, there’s usually an agenda behind the edits.
2. They feed off your secrets but never share their own.
These people have an uncanny ability to get you to open up while remaining completely closed off themselves. They collect personal information like trading cards, yet you realise you know nothing substantial about their own life. They’ve mastered the art of deflection so well you might not even notice it’s happening until you’ve already shared too much.
3. Their actions never match their social media life.
Online, they’re living their best life with perfect relationships and endless achievements. In reality, they’re dodging bills and burning bridges. The gap between their digital persona and real-life behaviour isn’t just a highlight reel – it’s a complete work of fiction. This level of conscious deception usually extends far beyond their Instagram feed.
4. They turn every favour into future leverage.
The help they offer always comes with strings attached, but you won’t see them until later. They keep a mental ledger of every kind thing they’ve done, ready to cash in when they need something. What looks like generosity is actually an investment in future manipulation.
5. Their empathy switches off when they don’t need you.
Watch how they treat people once they’ve got what they want. One day they’re incredibly understanding and supportive, the next they’re cold and dismissive. This selective empathy reveals that their compassion is just another tool they use to get ahead.
6. They create chaos and then disappear.
These people have a talent for stirring up drama between other people while keeping their own hands clean. They’ll drop inflammatory information, hint at betrayals, or plant seeds of doubt, then step back to watch the fallout. By the time everyone realises what happened, they’re nowhere to be found.
7. Their mistakes are always someone else’s fault.
Life somehow always happens to them, never because of them. Every failed project, broken relationship, or missed deadline has an elaborate explanation involving other people’s shortcomings. They’ve built an impenetrable fortress of excuses that makes genuine accountability impossible.
8. They give advice they never follow themselves.
They’re full of wisdom about how other people should live, work, and manage relationships, yet their own life is a masterclass in doing the opposite. This disconnect between what they preach and practice shows they don’t actually believe in the principles they’re selling you.
9. Their charm intensifies when they want something.
The sudden increase in attention, compliments, and interest isn’t random. They’ve perfected the art of turning up the charm like a dimmer switch, precisely calibrated to what they’re trying to get. Once they succeed, watch how quickly that warmth cools off.
10. They remember every detail except their commitments.
These folks have an impressive memory for information they can use to their advantage, but develop convenient amnesia about their own promises. They’ll remember an offhand comment you made months ago but completely forget they agreed to help you move. This selective memory isn’t a coincidence.
11. Their responses feel rehearsed rather than genuine.
There’s something just slightly off about how they react to things. Their emotions and responses seem to come from a script rather than the heart. They’ve learned to mimic normal reactions without actually feeling them, making every interaction feel like a performance.
12. They rush intimacy but avoid real vulnerability.
They push for quick closeness through intense attention and seemingly deep conversations. And yet, despite all the time together, you realise you’ve never seen them truly vulnerable or uncertain. Real intimacy takes time, and anyone rushing it usually has reasons for skipping the authentic connection part.
13. They treat privacy like it’s optional for other people.
While they guard their own information carefully, they treat other people’s private matters as public domain. They share confidences without hesitation, not seeing (or caring about) the breach of trust. This disregard for boundaries shows they view relationships as transactions rather than connections.
14. They make you doubt your own reality.
The most dangerous ones don’t just lie – they make you question your own perceptions and memories. They’ll deny saying things you clearly remember, twist past events, or make you feel unreasonable for having concerns. When someone works this hard to destabilise your reality, they’re usually covering up something bigger.
