When we talk about toxic behaviour, it’s usually in reference to the things other people do to us.
However, what about the things we do to ourselves? Sure, we’re all supposed to love ourselves and treat ourselves like we’re our own best friends, but how many of us actually do that? Here are some truly toxic behaviours you may be guilty of inflicting on yourself. If you catch yourself in action, stop, assess what’s really going on, and work on reshaping these bad habits. You deserve better!
1. Comparing yourself to everyone
When you constantly size yourself up against other people, it’s a fast track to feeling inadequate. It’s easy to forget that social media and conversations only show the highlights, not the struggles. Instead of comparing, focus on the small wins in your life. You’re doing better than you think. Trust that your journey is just as valuable as anyone else’s.
2. Saying yes to everything
Agreeing to every favour or commitment can be draining. While helping people is great, saying “yes” too often usually means you’re stretching yourself too thin. Start practising saying “no” without guilt. You’ll have more energy for the things you really care about. Saying “no” to some things allows you to say “yes” to what truly matters.
3. Dwelling on mistakes
We all make mistakes, but replaying them repeatedly only makes you feel worse. Dwelling doesn’t change what happened; it just robs you of peace. Learn what you can, then give yourself permission to move on. You deserve it. Life keeps moving forward, and so should you.
4. Neglecting self-care because you’re “too busy”
Skipping out on rest, exercise, or even a moment to relax because of a packed schedule isn’t sustainable. Eventually, it catches up with you, often as stress or burnout. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Even small acts of self-care can refresh your mind and body.
5. Aiming only for perfection
Striving for perfection sounds noble, but it’s exhausting and unrealistic. Aiming to be “good enough” or “better than yesterday” is a healthier, more rewarding approach. Let go of perfect; embrace progress. Accepting imperfections allows you to find joy in growth.
6. Avoiding confrontation at all costs
Shying away from conflict might keep things smooth temporarily, but bottled-up feelings don’t disappear. They build and eventually burst out. Healthy communication, even if it’s uncomfortable, actually strengthens relationships in the long run. Speaking up creates clarity and encourages real understanding.
7. Ignoring your own boundaries
When you let other people cross your boundaries, you’re teaching them that your needs don’t matter. Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away; it’s about respecting yourself. Remember, boundaries show self-respect. Honouring them helps you protect your energy and peace of mind.
8. Relying on external validation
If you constantly seek approval from other people, you’re handing over control of your happiness. Self-worth should come from within, not from other people’s opinions. Aim to value your own perspective more; it’s the one that truly matters. By valuing yourself, you build confidence that doesn’t rely on anyone else.
9. Overthinking everything
Analysing every detail can make simple decisions feel monumental. Constant overthinking often leads to anxiety and second-guessing yourself. Sometimes, you have to trust your gut and take a leap, knowing it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly. Trust that you can handle whatever comes next.
10. Assuming the worst
When you’re quick to expect the worst outcome, you end up stressing over things that may never happen. Shifting to a more balanced perspective can lighten your mental load. Not every cloud has a storm brewing. You might find peace by giving things the benefit of the doubt.
11. Putting off your happiness until “someday”
Source: Unsplash Waiting for the “perfect” moment to be happy can keep you stuck indefinitely. There’s always a reason to postpone joy, but learning to find happiness now makes life richer. Today has something good in it, if you look for it. Don’t let life slip by while you wait for it to feel right.
12. Letting fear drive your decisions
When fear is in the driver’s seat, it keeps you from taking risks that could lead to growth. Small steps forward are more rewarding than staying in the same spot out of fear. Embrace courage; you might surprise yourself. You’re capable of more than fear allows you to see.
13. Blaming yourself for everything
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re responsible for every mishap, but that’s a heavy burden to carry. Some things are simply beyond your control. Self-compassion can go a long way toward healing this habit. Remember, being kind to yourself is an essential part of resilience.
14. Not celebrating your progress
If you’re always focused on what’s next, you miss out on appreciating how far you’ve come. Recognizing your wins, no matter how small, builds motivation. Celebrate your steps—they’re part of the journey, too. Acknowledging your efforts fuels the confidence to keep moving forward.
