The longer you’re with someone, the more inevitable it becomes that you’re going to fight sometimes.
It happens — but disagreeing in healthy, respectful ways is important. No matter what they’ve done or how upset you are, there are certain things that are never okay to say to your partner. Not only are they completely disrespectful, but you may find that you can’t take them back, and they just might derail your relationship entirely.
1. “I wish I never met you.”
In the heat of the moment, this might slip out, but it’s a hurtful thing to say to someone you’ve shared so much with. It implies that everything you’ve built together means nothing, and it can be hard for them to forget. Even in an argument, acknowledging what they mean to you keeps the focus on fixing the issue instead of tearing each other down.
2. “You’re just like your (parent, ex, etc.).”
Bringing up someone they might have a complicated relationship with never helps the situation. Comparing them to someone else, especially a parent or ex, usually touches on deep insecurities. It can feel like a low blow, suggesting they’re doomed to repeat someone else’s mistakes. Instead, stick to what’s actually happening between the two of you.
3. “I can do better than you.”
Nothing kills trust and security like telling your partner they’re replaceable. This comment is both hurtful and dismissive, implying that you don’t really value who they are. Even in frustration, there are kinder ways to express your needs without making them feel small.
4. “You always/never do this.”
“Always” and “never” are rarely true and tend to make people feel attacked rather than understood. It paints them in a corner, forcing them to defend themselves rather than listen to what you’re actually upset about. Being specific about what’s bothering you instead of exaggerating goes a long way toward finding a solution.
5. “You’re acting crazy.”
Calling someone “crazy” is a quick way to invalidate their feelings, making them feel dismissed rather than understood. This term can make people feel like they’re overreacting, even when their feelings are completely valid. Instead, try to understand what’s behind their reaction rather than label it.
6. “I don’t care.”
Even if you feel overwhelmed, saying “I don’t care” can come across as cold and indifferent. It suggests you’re giving up on the relationship or don’t value their perspective, which can hurt deeply. Taking a moment to collect yourself and then communicating calmly usually keeps things from spiralling.
7. “You’re being too sensitive.”
This phrase tells your partner that their feelings aren’t valid, which can create a lasting sense of insecurity. Everyone’s entitled to their emotions, and dismissing them only shuts down communication. Acknowledging their perspective, even if you don’t fully understand, shows respect and keeps the door open for a healthy conversation.
8. “Why can’t you be more like…?”
Comparing your partner to someone else—whether it’s a friend, sibling, or even an idealised version of themselves—is one of the quickest ways to make them feel inadequate. It suggests they’re not good enough as they are, which can lead to resentment. Appreciating them for who they are is essential, especially when things get tough.
9. “This is all your fault.”
In any disagreement, there’s usually a shared responsibility. Blaming your partner entirely ignores your own role and makes them feel unfairly targeted. Relationships work best when both sides are open to looking at their actions. A little self-reflection goes a long way in solving issues together.
10. “I’m done with this.”
Throwing out ultimatums during a fight can make your partner feel constantly on edge. It sends a message that the relationship is disposable, which can destroy trust over time. If you need space, communicate that without threatening the foundation of the relationship.
11. “You’re just being dramatic.”
LLabellingtheir feelings as “dramatic” downplays their experience and shuts down honest communication. Even if you don’t agree with their reaction, brushing it off only makes them feel dismissed. Listening, even if it’s uncomfortable, builds more trust than dismissing their emotions.
12. “I can’t believe I put up with you.”
This phrase implies that being with them is a burden rather than a choice. It’s hurtful and can leave a lasting sting, as it suggests they’re somehow “less” than what you want. Instead, focus on the issue at hand without dragging their entire worth into question.
13. “You’ll never change.”
Telling someone they’re incapable of change can be incredibly disheartening, especially if they’re actively working on themselves. It sends the message that they’re stuck in your eyes, no matter what they do. Recognising small efforts and progress can make a world of difference.
14. “I’m not attracted to you when you act like this.”
Bringing attraction into a disagreement can make your partner feel insecure about themselves and the relationship. It’s a personal critique that can leave lasting wounds, even after the fight is over. Focusing on behaviour without tying it to attraction keeps the issue from feeling too personal.
15. “You’re lucky I’m with you.”
This line is basically saying, “You’re not good enough for me,” which is a deeply damaging thing to hear. It can chip away at their self-worth, making them feel as though they don’t deserve respect. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual appreciation, not lopsided “gratitude.”
16. “If you really loved me, you would…”
Using love as a bargaining chip or a test can be incredibly manipulative. It creates a conditional atmosphere that makes them feel they have to “prove” their love. Genuine love isn’t about meeting demands or proving loyalty; it’s about supporting each other, even through disagreements.
17. “Whatever, I don’t care if you leave.”
Even in a heated moment, dismissing the relationship as disposable can be devastating. It suggests that you’re indifferent to the future together, which can make your partner feel unimportant. Instead, taking a break to cool off before speaking shows respect for the bond you’ve built.
