Relationships have their ups and downs, but some behaviours are just not okay, no matter what.
Without a very firm foundation of trust, respect, consideration, and basic human kindness, there’s no way you can stay together and enjoy a happy, healthy connection. Sure, you love them, and they probably love you in their own warped way, but that doesn’t mean it’s meant to be. Here are a few things you should never feel you have to put up with from a partner.
1. Dismissing your feelings
It’s frustrating when you try to open up, and they shrug it off or say you’re “overreacting.” Everyone deserves to feel heard and validated. When your feelings are constantly brushed aside, it can make you feel invisible. A partner who truly cares will listen, even if they don’t agree. You deserve someone who values your emotions, not one who ignores them.
2. Constant criticism
Source: Unsplash We all have quirks, but a partner who’s always pointing out what you do “wrong” can chip away at your confidence. Whether it’s your clothes, your friends, or your choices, criticism that’s constant isn’t helpful—it’s hurtful. Constructive feedback is one thing, but constant criticism can feel like you’re never good enough. Relationships should feel supportive, not like you’re under a microscope.
3. Refusing to communicate
Source: Unsplash Communication is a huge part of any relationship, so when a partner refuses to talk things out, it creates a wall. It can leave you feeling alone and frustrated, especially when problems go unresolved. Shutting down discussions doesn’t solve anything; it just leaves things hanging. Open communication isn’t a lot to ask for—it’s necessary for a healthy relationship.
4. Gaslighting your experiences
Source: Unsplash When someone tries to make you doubt your own reality, saying things like “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things,” it’s manipulative. Gaslighting makes you question your own memory and instincts, which can be deeply damaging. You deserve a partner who respects your perspective, even if they don’t agree. Don’t let anyone convince you that your feelings or memories aren’t valid.
5. Ignoring your boundaries
Source: Unsplash Boundaries are there for a reason, and a partner who regularly crosses them is showing a lack of respect. It’s not okay to feel pressured into things you’re uncomfortable with, whether it’s physical, emotional, or even social boundaries. Healthy relationships respect each person’s limits. A partner who cares will work with your boundaries, not push past them.
6. Making you feel guilty for their mistakes
Source: Unsplash If they mess up, but somehow it always becomes your fault, that’s a red flag. It’s unfair to carry guilt for things you didn’t cause, and it can lead to a toxic cycle. A partner who takes responsibility for their actions is showing maturity and respect. Don’t let anyone twist situations to make you feel guilty when you’re not at fault.
7. Withholding affection as punishment
When affection becomes conditional on you “earning” it, it creates insecurity. Love and affection shouldn’t be used as tools to control or punish. Relationships should be a safe space where affection is given freely. Withholding it to manipulate you isn’t just unfair—it’s unhealthy.
8. Acting secretive about major parts of their life
Everyone deserves privacy, but there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy. If they’re constantly hiding things or getting defensive when you ask about their plans or friends, it creates distrust. Openness is key for any relationship to thrive. If they’re secretive without a reason, it can leave you feeling left out and anxious.
9. Not supporting your goals and dreams
A partner should be someone who lifts you up, not someone who belittles your ambitions. When they’re dismissive of your dreams, it can feel discouraging and isolating. Support is essential, even if your goals are different. A healthy relationship means rooting for each other’s growth, not holding each other back.
10. Disrespecting your friends and family
Your loved ones are important, and a partner who constantly disrespects them or tries to drive a wedge is showing a lack of respect for you. It’s hurtful when they disregard people you care about. While they don’t have to love your family or friends, respecting them shows they value you. No one should make you choose between a partner and the people you care about.
11. Blaming you for their emotions
If your partner constantly blames you for how they feel, it’s not only unfair but also emotionally exhausting. Everyone is responsible for managing their own emotions. A partner who holds you accountable for their happiness or frustration is deflecting responsibility. Healthy relationships involve shared emotions, not forced accountability.
12. Disregarding your achievements
Whether it’s a promotion, finishing a project, or personal growth, achievements deserve recognition. A partner who downplays or ignores your successes isn’t supportive. Celebrating each other’s wins, no matter how big or small, strengthens the bond. If they can’t celebrate with you, it may be time to reconsider their place in your life.
13. Using jealousy to control you
A little jealousy is natural, but when it becomes a tool to restrict who you talk to or what you do, it’s toxic. Constantly questioning your actions or friendships isn’t about love—it’s about control. You deserve trust and freedom in a relationship, not constant suspicion. Healthy relationships don’t involve policing each other’s every move.
14. Refusing to compromise
No two people agree on everything, but a partner who never bends is difficult to build a future with. Refusing to compromise creates an imbalanced relationship where one person always sacrifices. Compromise shows respect for each other’s wants and needs. Relationships work best when both people are willing to meet halfway.
15. Downplaying your accomplishments or contributions
When a partner belittles or brushes off the things you’re proud of, it’s hurtful. Everyone deserves to feel that their hard work and contributions matter. If they’re constantly diminishing your efforts, it’s a sign of insecurity or a lack of appreciation. You deserve someone who values and respects what you bring to the table.
16. Making you feel alone even when you’re together
Feeling alone in a relationship is one of the loneliest experiences. If your partner is emotionally unavailable or makes you feel like you’re carrying the relationship alone, it’s draining. Real partnerships make you feel seen, valued, and supported. You deserve to feel connected, not isolated.
