Not everyone who’s on the spectrum wears their autism diagnosis or struggles on their sleeves.
Whether because they’re naturally high-functioning and don’t want to be judged unfairly by those who don’t understand neurodivergence or because they don’t want their autism to define them, they may partake in masking behaviours as a form of self-protection. Here are some of the most common signs of masking you may not have known about.
1. Mimicking body language
One way autistic people may try to fit in is by copying the gestures and movements of those around them. By mirroring other people’s body language, they hope to appear more approachable and relatable. This technique can make social interactions smoother but can also feel exhausting. Mimicking is a way to bridge the gap, even if it’s not completely natural.
2. Forcing eye contact
Eye contact can be uncomfortable or even overwhelming for some autistic people, yet they may feel pressured to maintain it to avoid seeming rude or distant. Forcing eye contact helps them meet social expectations, but it often takes significant mental energy. This behaviour can appear natural to other people, yet it may feel far from comfortable or easy.
3. Suppressing stimming
Stimming (self-stimulating behaviour)—like hand-flapping or rocking—can be a natural way to relieve stress, but some autistic people hide it to avoid drawing attention. Suppressing these behaviours helps them blend in, though it often requires intense self-control. Without these natural outlets, they may feel more stressed. Masking stims is a way to meet social norms, even if it means feeling less comfortable.
4. Adopting scripted responses
To handle social interactions smoothly, some autistic people rely on “scripts,” or pre-planned phrases for different situations. These scripts help them navigate conversations without feeling caught off guard. While it may look like casual chat, it’s often a carefully rehearsed approach. Scripts help with predictability but can feel limiting if the conversation shifts unexpectedly.
5. Imitating facial expressions
Some autistic individuals may consciously mimic facial expressions to match the emotions they think are expected in a situation. Smiling, nodding, or showing concern can be intentional, rather than instinctive. It helps them appear engaged, but can be mentally exhausting to maintain. Mimicking expressions can feel like acting in social interactions.
6. Avoiding special interests in conversation
Many autistic people have deep passions, but sharing these interests might feel risky, fearing they’ll be judged or misunderstood. Instead, they steer conversations toward more socially acceptable topics. While it helps them blend in, it can also feel stifling to avoid discussing something they genuinely love. This subtle choice keeps them under the radar but can feel like hiding part of themselves.
7. Practising “small talk”
Small talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but some autistic individuals work hard to learn the basics of casual conversation to avoid awkward silences. Engaging in small talk helps them navigate social settings, even if it feels forced. They may memorise typical responses or questions to keep the conversation going. Small talk is a tool for blending in, though it can feel draining.
8. Copying fashion trends
To avoid standing out, some autistic people dress in styles that they observe as “normal” or socially acceptable. By blending in with fashion trends, they feel less likely to be judged for their appearance. While this may make social situations easier, it can sometimes feel restrictive if it doesn’t align with their personal preferences. Fashion becomes less about self-expression and more about fitting in.
9. Using humour as a shield
Humour can be a way to deflect attention or mask discomfort. Some autistic people learn to use jokes or sarcasm to fit in with people, even if it doesn’t always feel natural. It becomes a tool to avoid awkwardness and ease tension in social settings. While it may appear effortless, it’s often a practised way to feel accepted.
10. Carefully planning social outings
For some, social gatherings require careful planning and mental preparation. They might rehearse possible interactions or prepare exit strategies in case things become overwhelming. This planning can help them feel more in control, reducing the anxiety of unpredictable situations. While other people may see them as relaxed, it often takes effort to maintain that ease in social settings.
11. Agreeing to avoid conflict
To sidestep confrontation, some autistic people may go along with other people’s opinions or decisions, even if they disagree. Doing this helps them avoid stress but can also feel disempowering. By agreeing with everyone, they can prevent uncomfortable situations, but might feel they’re sacrificing their true thoughts. Conflict avoidance is often a way to keep interactions smooth and manageable.
12. Masking sensory sensitivities
Bright lights, loud sounds, or strong smells can be overwhelming, but some autistic individuals downplay these sensitivities to avoid standing out. By pretending these sensory inputs don’t bother them, they feel less likely to be singled out. However, hiding this discomfort can add to their stress over time. Masking sensory sensitivities is often done for social ease, even if it’s challenging to sustain.
13. Adjusting speech patterns
Some autistic people consciously alter their tone, volume, or speech rhythm to sound more “typical” in social settings. This adjustment helps them appear more approachable, but often requires extra mental effort. Adapting speech patterns can make conversations feel smoother, but it may feel like performing rather than communicating naturally. This masking behaviour creates a sense of fitting in, even if it’s tiring.
14. Rehearsing social stories
Anticipating future social situations, some autistic people mentally walk through conversations and scenarios beforehand. This preparation can help them feel more at ease, even if real-life interactions don’t always match their expectations. Rehearsing social stories is a way to manage anxiety and prepare for unpredictability. It provides a sense of control, even if it’s not always a perfect fit for every situation.
