Everyone has flaws — that’s just human nature.
However, there’s a major difference between having some shortcomings and being toxic. Those in the latter camp don’t just have imperfections — they have habits and behaviours that make them unbearable to be around. Here are the qualities that paint a person in an extremely poisonous light.
1. Constantly playing the victim
Toxic people are really good at twisting situations to make themselves look like the wronged party. Even when they’ve clearly contributed to the problem, they shift the blame and expect sympathy. This kind of behaviour creates a cycle where nothing gets resolved because they’re too focused on how unfair life is to them rather than owning their part in the conflict.
2. Manipulating to get what they want
Using guilt trips, lies, or emotional blackmail, toxic people know how to bend situations to their benefit. It’s rarely obvious at first, but over time their tactics become clearer—especially when you realise how often you feel used or taken advantage of. Being around someone like this can leave you second-guessing everything, including your own boundaries.
3. Never apologising sincerely
When a toxic person does something wrong, don’t expect a heartfelt apology. Instead, you’ll likely hear excuses, deflections, or even a “sorry” that’s only meant to avoid consequences. Refusing to genuinely own up to mistakes makes it nearly impossible to rebuild trust or move forward in any meaningful way.
4. Thriving on drama
Some people genuinely enjoy stirring the pot, and toxic ones are often the culprits. They exaggerate problems, create conflicts, or insert themselves into situations just to keep the chaos going. For those around them, it’s exhausting and makes it hard to find any sense of calm or stability.
5. Being endlessly critical
Toxic people seem to have a comment for everything—and it’s rarely positive. Whether it’s nitpicking someone’s choices or pointing out flaws in an effort to bring them down, their negativity can be relentless. Over time, this constant criticism chips away at confidence, leaving people feeling small and undervalued.
6. Gaslighting to undermine people
Gaslighting is a favourite tactic of toxic people, making you doubt your own perceptions and feelings. They might say, “You’re imagining things” or “That’s not what happened” when you confront them about their behaviour. The manipulation can leave you feeling disoriented and unsure of yourself, which is exactly what they want.
7. Making everything about themselves
Conversations with toxic people tend to follow one pattern: no matter the topic, it ends up revolving around them. They dominate discussions, show little interest in what anyone else has to say, and steer the focus back to their own experiences. It’s draining to deal with someone who can’t give anyone else the spotlight, even for a moment.
8. Holding grudges forever
If a toxic person feels slighted, they won’t let it go. Ever. They bring up old grievances at the most inconvenient times, using them as ammunition in unrelated arguments. Not being able (or willing) to move on creates a toxic atmosphere where past issues overshadow any chance of progress.
9. Exploiting people’s kindness
Toxic people are experts at pushing boundaries, especially with those who are kind or empathetic. They’ll lean on your generosity, expecting endless support without offering much in return. Over time, this one-sided dynamic leaves the other person feeling drained and unappreciated.
10. Refusing to listen to anyone
Conversations with toxic people often feel like talking to a wall. They dismiss your perspective, interrupt constantly, or steer the discussion back to themselves. The lack of interest in what other people have to say isn’t just frustrating—it’s a clear sign they don’t respect you enough to listen.
11. Always needing to one-up everyone
Whether it’s a better holiday story or a worse day at work, toxic people always find a way to make things about them. Instead of celebrating someone else’s success or empathising with their struggles, they turn it into a competition. The constant need to outshine everyone creates resentment and ruins relationships.
12. Being overly controlling
From micromanaging every detail to dictating how other people should behave, toxic people can’t handle not being in charge. This kind of behaviour leaves those around them feeling suffocated and powerless. It’s not about helping or guiding—it’s about keeping everyone under their thumb.
13. Sabotaging other people’s happiness
When someone else is thriving, toxic people feel threatened. They might make cutting remarks, downplay achievements, or create unnecessary drama to pull the focus back to themselves. It’s as if they can’t handle anyone else feeling good about their life.
14. Refusing to respect boundaries
No matter how clearly you set a boundary, toxic people will find a way to push past it. They’ll disregard your needs, prioritising their wants over your comfort or consent. Being around someone who refuses to respect limits leaves you feeling unheard and undervalued.
15. Constantly playing mind games
Toxic people thrive on keeping people guessing. Whether it’s mixed signals, guilt-tripping, or deliberately confusing behaviour, they use these tactics to stay in control. Dealing with someone like this leaves you constantly second-guessing what’s real and what’s manipulation.
16. Dismissing people’s feelings
When someone shares how they feel, toxic people often brush it off with comments like “You’re overreacting” or “You’re too sensitive.” Invalidating people all the time makes it hard to feel heard or understood, destroying trust and creating emotional distance.
17. Turning everything into a competition
Instead of celebrating other people’s success, toxic people feel the need to one-up them or dismiss their achievements entirely. The constant rivalry creates tension, turning what could be supportive relationships into something shallow and strained. It’s hard to connect when everything feels like a contest.
