‘Loving’ Things Narcissists Say And What They Really Mean

You already know that narcissists are incredibly manipulative, but they’re also sickeningly charming at times.

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As such, they somehow manage to say the right things at the right time, winning even the most sceptical and jaded among us. They’re just so convincing, and if you actually like them, it’s no wonder you want to believe that all the sweet, loving things coming out of their mouths are actually true. Unfortunately, narcissists are rarely if ever sincere, and when they blurt out these phrases, there’s usually an underlying motive or message.

1. “You’re the only one who truly understands me.”

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This might sound romantic, but it often serves as a way for the narcissist to pull you in and make you feel special. What they really mean is that they want you to be emotionally invested in them so they can keep your attention. It’s less about connection and more about control.

2. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

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While it might feel like you’re their one and only, narcissists often use this phrase to create a sense of urgency and exclusivity. What they’re really saying is that they want you to let your guard down quickly so they can solidify their influence over you.

3. “I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you.”

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This might sound self-deprecating, but it’s often a way to fish for reassurance and praise. They want you to insist on their worth and shower them with validation. It’s less about humility and more about looking for affirmation.

4. “I just want to make you happy.”

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While this phrase seems generous, it often comes with strings attached. What they really mean is that they’ll do what it takes to make you happy—as long as it aligns with their own interests or keeps you indebted to them.

5. “You’re perfect in every way.”

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This over-the-top compliment can feel amazing, but it’s often a setup for unrealistic expectations. What they really mean is that they’re putting you on a pedestal—for now. When you inevitably fall short of “perfection,” they may use it against you.

6. “We’re meant to be together.”

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Declaring destiny might seem romantic, but narcissists use this to fast-track emotional intimacy. What they’re really saying is that they want you to ignore red flags and dive head-first into the relationship without questioning their motives.

7. “No one else has ever treated me as well as you do.”

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This is supposed to make you feel indispensable in their life. What they really mean is that they want you to keep prioritising their needs above your own. It’s a subtle way of ensuring you stay invested in pleasing them.

8. “I’ve been hurt so many times before.”

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Opening up about past pain might seem vulnerable, but narcissists often use it to draw sympathy and justify their behaviour. What they really mean is that they want you to feel responsible for “healing” them or excusing their flaws.

9. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

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This flattering line is often used to make you feel extraordinary. What they really mean is that they want you to feel special enough to overlook their self-centred tendencies. It’s all about keeping you hooked.

10. “You’re my everything.”

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While this might sound romantic, it can actually be a red flag for dependency. What they really mean is that they want to monopolise your time, attention, and energy. It’s less about love and more about control.

11. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

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This phrase is often used to create a sense of obligation or fear of leaving. What they really mean is that they want you to feel irreplaceable—so you’ll stay even when the relationship becomes difficult or toxic.

12. “You’re so much better than everyone else.”

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Compliments that compare you to other people can feel great at first, but they often come with a hidden agenda. What they really mean is that they’re creating a sense of competition or exclusivity to keep you focused on them.

13. “I’ve never been able to trust anyone like this before.”

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On the surface, this seems like a sign of deep trust, but it’s often used to make you feel uniquely important in their life. What they really mean is that they want to bind you emotionally to them while making you overlook any signs of manipulation.

14. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

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This might feel like the ultimate compliment, but it can also be a tool for emotional leverage. What they really mean is that they want to keep you invested in the relationship by making you feel like their saviour or key to happiness.

15. “You’re too good for me.”

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On the surface, this might sound like humility, but it’s often a tactic to make you prove them wrong. What they really mean is that they’re fishing for reassurance and want you to convince them of their worth.

16. “I just want us to be happy.”

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This phrase can seem like a shared goal, but it’s often used to dismiss any concerns or conflicts. What they really mean is that they want to avoid accountability by redirecting the focus onto a vague idea of happiness.