Your self-worth isn’t something you earn — it’s something you already have.
However, recognising it and building it up takes work, and sometimes you let things slide that eat away at your confidence and make you feel small. That’s no good! It’s time to stop tolerating these behaviours and situations for the sake of your own dignity. You deserve better, so you have to demand it.
1. People who constantly disrespect your boundaries
When someone ignores your “no” or pushes your limits, it chips away at your self-respect. Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re guidelines that show people how to treat you. If someone keeps testing those lines, it’s not you being unreasonable; it’s them being disrespectful. You’re allowed to protect your peace.
2. Relationships that leave you drained
Friendships, family dynamics, or romantic relationships shouldn’t feel like a constant battle. If someone leaves you feeling exhausted, overlooked, or emotionally empty, it’s okay to reassess that connection. You deserve relationships that fill your cup, not drain it dry.
3. Apologising for things that aren’t your fault
Stop saying “sorry” when you’ve done nothing wrong. Apologising for things beyond your control — like someone else’s bad mood — chips away at your self-worth. Save your apologies for when they matter, and learn to stand firm when you know you’re not in the wrong.
4. Making yourself small to make other people comfortable
Don’t downplay your achievements, ideas, or personality to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. You’re not “too much,” and your success or confidence isn’t something to hide. The right people won’t be intimidated by your light — they’ll cheer you on and shine alongside you.
5. Negative self-talk
That little voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough? It’s lying. Constantly criticising yourself destroys your confidence, bit by bit. Replace negative thoughts with kinder, more balanced ones. You deserve the same compassion you give to other people.
6. Settling for less than you want
Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a lifestyle, settling for less than you truly want sends a message that you don’t believe you deserve better. You’re allowed to have standards. Wanting more doesn’t make you demanding — it makes you self-aware.
7. People who only reach out when they need something
If someone only contacts you when they need a favour or emotional support, that’s not a balanced relationship. You’re not a convenience store. Real friendships are give-and-take, not just take. You deserve to be valued for who you are, not just what you can provide.
8. Environments that constantly stress you out
Whether it’s a toxic workplace, an uncomfortable living situation, or a draining social scene, constant stress isn’t worth sacrificing your mental health. Your environment matters, and it should support you, not wear you down. Sometimes, change is necessary for your peace of mind.
9. Comparing yourself to other people
Scrolling through someone else’s highlight reel and measuring your life against it is a fast track to feeling inadequate. Your journey is *yours* — unique, valuable, and incomparable. Focus on your path and what makes you happy, not on someone else’s curated version of life.
10. Belittling jokes at your expense
“I’m just joking!” isn’t an excuse for making you feel small. If someone constantly makes jokes that undermine you or hit a little too close to home, it’s okay to call it out. You deserve to be around people who lift you up, not those who chip away at your confidence for a laugh.
11. Taking on too much just to please everyone else
Being helpful is great, but constantly saying “yes” when you’re overwhelmed is a fast way to burn out. Your time and energy are valuable. It’s okay to say “no” without guilt. Protecting your well-being isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
12. Making excuses for other people’s bad behaviour
“They’re just having a bad day” doesn’t justify someone treating you poorly. Everyone has rough days, but that doesn’t give them a free pass to disrespect you. Hold people accountable for how they treat you, and remember that your feelings matter, too.
13. Sticking with habits that no longer serve you
Sometimes, the things we’ve always done start to hold us back. Whether it’s procrastinating, doomscrolling, or staying up too late, if a habit makes you feel worse, it’s time to reassess. Small changes can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself.
14. Ignoring your own needs
Your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. Whether you need rest, alone time, or a bit of fun, don’t put your well-being on the back burner. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and looking after yourself helps you show up better for everyone else.
15. Fear of speaking up for yourself
Holding back your thoughts or needs just to avoid conflict diminishes your self-worth. Your voice matters, and expressing yourself isn’t a problem — it’s part of being true to who you are. You have every right to say what you feel and ask for what you need.
