Not everyone is going to be a sparkling conversationalist, and that’s okay.
However, there’s a big difference between lacking tons of charisma and charm and being… well, a bit boring. If you’re worried that you might fall into the latter camp, that’s not a good feeling. However, your suspicions may be right if you’re guilty of any of these behaviours. The good thing is, it’s never too late to change!
1. You tell every story with too much detail.
If you’re recounting a trip to the shop and start with, “So, first I put on my shoes,” people might be zoning out before you reach the punchline. While details can add colour, too many can drown out the excitement. Instead, focus on the highlights—and maybe skip the bit about what colour socks you wore.
2. You only talk about work.
Your job might be fascinating to you, but if every conversation circles back to your boss or your latest spreadsheet, people might start wishing for a power outage. Try sprinkling in topics like hobbies, current events, or even a funny video you saw. Variety keeps things engaging.
3. You never take risks in conversations.
Playing it safe by sticking to generic topics like the weather or what’s for dinner can be comforting, but it won’t win you any awards for excitement. Toss in a playful or unexpected comment once in a while—it keeps people guessing and more interested in what you’ll say next.
4. Your go-to response is, “I don’t know.”
Not every conversation requires deep expertise, but leaning too heavily on “I don’t know” or shrugging can feel like conversational quicksand. Even if you’re unsure, try offering a guess, a joke, or a “What do you think?”—it keeps things moving.
5. You stick to the same routine—always.
If your idea of excitement is getting a different brand of tea this week, it might be time to shake things up. A predictable routine can make for stale conversation. Try exploring new activities, places, or experiences—you’ll have more to share, and other people will be curious to learn more about you.
6. You overuse clichés.
Phrases like “It is what it is” or “Another day, another dollar” are fine occasionally, but overusing them can make you sound like a walking bumper sticker. Mix it up with personal anecdotes or fresh perspectives—it’s more engaging and shows a bit of your personality.
7. You avoid personal stories.
Keeping things surface-level might feel safe, but it can also come across as, well, uninspired. Sharing personal experiences or thoughts—even small ones—adds depth and relatability. Plus, it gives people a chance to connect with you on a more meaningful level.
8. You rarely show enthusiasm.
If you approach every topic with the energy of a sloth on a hot day, people might not stick around for long. Enthusiasm is contagious, so don’t be afraid to show genuine excitement, even about the little things. Passion can make any topic interesting.
9. You avoid humour at all costs.
Not everyone is a stand-up comedian, but avoiding humour altogether can make conversations feel like chores. A little joke, pun, or self-deprecating comment can lighten the mood and keep people engaged. Laughter really is the universal language.
10. You only ask closed questions.
“Did you have a good weekend?” invites a short “yes” or “no,” and the conversation fizzles. Swap those for open-ended gems like, “What was the highlight of your weekend?” It gives people more to work with and keeps the dialogue alive.
11. You repeat stories—often.
If you’re sharing that hilarious holiday story for the fifth time this month, your audience might be less than thrilled. Pay attention to people’s reactions, and try to bring fresh material to the table. Repeating is fine for sitcom reruns, but not for conversations.
12. You avoid trying new things.
If your life is a loop of the same restaurants, TV shows, and routines, you might not have much new to talk about. Stepping outside your comfort zone adds excitement to your life and, by extension, your conversations. Even a small adventure can spark interest.
13. You dominate the conversation.
Talking non-stop without giving everyone else a chance to chime in can feel more like a lecture than a chat. Make space for someone else to share—it’s in the back-and-forth that conversations become memorable. Plus, showing interest in other people is always a win.
14. You avoid opinions at all costs.
Source: Unsplash Being neutral might feel safe, but it can also come across as disinterested. Sharing your opinions (kindly and respectfully) shows you’re engaged and adds flavour to the conversation. Don’t be afraid to spice things up a bit!
15. You resist spontaneity.
If you need a plan for everything and shy away from spur-of-the-moment fun, life—and your conversations—can feel a bit rigid. Embrace the unexpected; it keeps life interesting and shows people your playful side.
