When confronted on their behaviour, some people deflect blame by immediately throwing themselves a pity party.
Instead of owning up to what they’ve done and making amends, they play the victim to manipulate the situation or avoid accountability. You’ll know someone’s doing this because it’s blatantly obvious — largely because they tend to say these things every time without fail.
1. “I guess I can’t do anything right.”
Instead of acknowledging their mistake, they throw out this blanket statement. It turns the conversation into a pity party, making you feel guilty for bringing up the issue. It’s a way to avoid dealing with the real problem by making you reassure them instead.
2. “I’m such a terrible person.”
This overdramatic claim makes it seem like you’re accusing them of being fundamentally flawed rather than addressing a specific behaviour. It shifts the focus from their actions to their entire character, making it harder to have a productive discussion. It leaves you feeling like you have to comfort them.
3. “Everyone’s always against me.”
By suggesting that the world is conspiring against them, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This paints them as a constant victim and can make you feel like you’re part of some unjust group rather than addressing a valid concern. It’s designed to shut down criticism.
4. “I guess you just hate me now.”
When they say this, they escalate a minor issue into a full-blown emotional catastrophe. It pushes you into a corner where you feel forced to reassure them, deflecting from the actual problem. It’s a tactic to make the conversation about their feelings instead of the issue at hand.
5. “Why does this always happen to me?”
They make it seem like they’re perpetually unlucky or misunderstood, rather than acknowledging their role in the situation. This turns their mistake into a pattern of unfair misfortune. It deflects from the issue and makes you question whether you’re being too harsh.
6. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
This makes it sound like your confrontation is a personal betrayal rather than a justified reaction. It implies that you’re intentionally trying to hurt them, which can make you feel guilty for even bringing up your concerns. It turns their accountability into your “wrongdoing.”
7. “I guess I’ll just leave you alone.”
They resort to this phrase to make you feel like you’re pushing them away, even when all you want is an open conversation. It puts you in the awkward position of having to convince them to stay, effectively derailing the issue. It’s a way to escape the discussion without resolving it.
8. “You’re making me feel like I’m the worst.”
This exaggerates your criticism, twisting it into a personal attack. Rather than addressing their behaviour, they make it about how badly you’re making them feel. It subtly shifts the blame, forcing you to defend your intentions instead of resolving the problem.
9. “I guess I’ll never be good enough for you.”
They make it seem like you have impossible standards, painting themselves as a hopeless case. This pushes you to reassure them, diverting attention from the issue you’re trying to address. It leaves you feeling guilty for having any expectations at all.
10. “Fine, I’m always the bad guy.”
By labelling themselves as “the bad guy,” they dismiss your concerns and frame themselves as unfairly judged. It’s a defensive move that discourages further discussion and leaves you feeling like you’re being overly critical. The real issue gets buried under this deflection.
11. “I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”
Instead of taking responsibility, they turn your criticism into a reflection of their worthlessness. This is supposed to make you feel like the “bad guy” for expressing your feelings. It replaces accountability with emotional guilt-tripping, shutting down any meaningful conversation.
12. “You’re always picking on me.”
This implies that your concerns are part of a pattern of unfair treatment. It dismisses your issue by framing it as constant harassment rather than a valid grievance. You end up defending yourself instead of discussing the real problem.
13. “I guess I’ll just stop trying.”
This passive-aggressive statement implies that your feedback is so harsh, it’s not worth the effort to improve. It places the blame on you for making them feel defeated. Instead of addressing the issue, you’re left trying to convince them to keep trying.
14. “I’m always the one who gets blamed.”
This turns accountability into a complaint about being unfairly targeted. It suggests a pattern of victimhood, making it seem like your criticism is just another example of injustice. It avoids responsibility by casting you as the accuser and them as the perpetual victim.
