Every relationship—whether it’s with a partner, a friend, or a family member—works best when expectations are clear and fair.
While people who aren’t up to the task of treating you well, they’ll try to tell you that you’re being unrealistic or that your standards are too high, but don’t listen to them. These are totally reasonable things you should be able to expect from the people in your life — just make sure you’re willing to offer the same in return, of course.
1. Respect for your boundaries
Your boundaries are like personal property lines. Whether it’s your time, space, or emotional limits, people in your life should respect them. If you say, “I need some alone time,” or “Please don’t bring up that topic,” a reasonable expectation is that they honour it. Boundaries keep relationships healthy, not restrictive.
2. Honest and open communication
It’s not asking too much to expect people to be straightforward with you. Whether it’s expressing feelings, addressing misunderstandings, or sharing important news, honesty builds trust. It’s okay to expect people to say what they mean and mean what they say—no mind-reading required.
3. Support during tough times
Life isn’t all sunshine and smooth sailing, and a reasonable expectation is that people will show up when you need them most. Whether it’s a kind word, a listening ear, or just being present, support is the glue that holds relationships together. You shouldn’t have to weather every storm alone.
4. Celebration of your wins—big and small
If you’re excited about something, the people who care about you should be excited too. Whether you nailed a big project or finally assembled flat-pack furniture without swearing, your victories deserve applause. Expecting your cheer squad to show up is perfectly reasonable.
5. Time and effort in the relationship
Relationships are two-way streets. If you’re always the one making plans, checking in, or keeping the connection alive, that’s not fair. It’s reasonable to expect other people to invest their time and energy too. You’re worth the effort, and relationships thrive on mutual care.
6. Apologies when they mess up
No one’s perfect, and mistakes happen. But a genuine apology is a reasonable expectation. It shows they care about your feelings and the health of the relationship. A simple, “I’m sorry, I messed up,” can go a long way. No need for grand gestures—just sincerity.
7. Listening without judgement
Sometimes, you just need to vent or share something personal without getting side-eye or unsolicited advice. A reasonable expectation is that people will listen and hold space for you. Being heard without judgement helps you feel safe and valued. If you ask for advice, great. If not, just a nod and a “That sucks” can be enough.
8. Loyalty and trustworthiness
Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. You should be able to count on people to have your back and keep their word. Whether it’s keeping a secret or standing by you when things get tough, loyalty is a fair expectation. Betrayal shouldn’t be part of the package deal.
9. Mutual respect for each other’s individuality
You’re your own person, and that’s a beautiful thing. Expecting people to respect your interests, opinions, and quirks is perfectly reasonable. You don’t have to be twinsies on everything. Your uniqueness adds flavour to the relationship, and respect keeps things balanced.
10. Consistency, not just grand gestures
Sure, big surprises are nice, but consistency is where it’s at. A reasonable expectation is that people will show up regularly in small ways—checking in, being reliable, and showing they care. A consistent cup of tea made just the way you like it beats a once-a-year grand gesture any day.
11. Emotional safety
You should feel like you can be yourself without fear of ridicule or rejection. Emotional safety means knowing you won’t be laughed at for your feelings or shamed for your struggles. In a healthy relationship, you can be vulnerable and know you’ll be met with kindness, not criticism.
12. Space to grow and change
People grow, learn, and change—and that’s a good thing! A reasonable expectation is that your relationships will make room for this growth. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, changing your career path, or evolving your beliefs, the people in your life should support your journey, not cling to an old version of you.
13. Fairness and balance
It’s reasonable to expect balance in your relationships. If you’re always the one giving, and they’re always the one taking, that’s not fair. Whether it’s emotional support, chores, or decision-making, healthy relationships are about give and take. You shouldn’t have to carry the load alone.
14. Genuine kindness
This one’s basic but crucial. It’s reasonable to expect the people in your life to be kind—not just when things are good, but always. Even during disagreements, kindness should stay in the mix. A little compassion and thoughtfulness go a long way in making relationships feel good.
