Finally getting an official autism diagnosis can feel like a mixture of relief, confusion, and horror.
For a lot of people, it’s confirmation of a suspicion they’ve held for a long time, and a moment of understanding their past and behaviours. That being said, it can also bring a flood of questions about the future and what your condition means for your life moving forward. If you’re struggling to deal with this new reality, take a deep breath. You don’t have to have everything figured out today (or ever). Instead, offer yourself grace, kindness, and compassion — and do these things to start coming to terms with your neurodivergence.
1. Let yourself feel everything.
Getting a diagnosis like this can stir up a whole heap of emotions — everything from relief to grief. You might feel like everything suddenly makes sense, but at the same time, it can leave you feeling a bit overwhelmed, too. It’s completely normal to feel all sorts of things, and sometimes they’ll probably conflict with each other. Don’t judge yourself for feeling what you’re feeling. Just let those emotions flow and take your time to process them.
2. Learn more about autism.
Now that you’ve got a clearer understanding of what’s going on, you might feel the urge to dive into learning more about autism. The more you know about what autism actually is, the more comfortable you might feel with your diagnosis. It can help you make sense of your experiences and even give you the tools to advocate for yourself when needed. Plus, there’s a big, supportive community out there, and learning from people who’ve been through the same thing can help you feel a lot less isolated.
3. Look at your past through a new lens.
Once you have the autism diagnosis, it’s like putting on a new pair of glasses and seeing everything clearly for the first time. Looking back at your life with the knowledge that you’re autistic can help you understand things that were confusing before. Behaviours, struggles, even past frustrations — suddenly, they all make sense. You’re finally able to reframe your story and see it through a kinder, more compassionate lens.
4. Celebrate your upsides — there are plenty!
Autism often comes with strengths you might not have fully recognised before. Things like creativity, focus, or problem-solving skills could actually be tied to how your brain works. Noticing these strengths can boost your confidence and help you feel proud of who you are. It’s about seeing autism as part of what makes you unique, not something that holds you back.
5. Connect with people who get what you’re going through.
It can really help to talk to people who’ve gone through something similar. Whether it’s online communities or local groups, there’s a real sense of camaraderie when you find people who understand what you’re going through. Hearing other people’s stories can give you new ideas on how to navigate your own situation, and those connections can make you feel more grounded and less alone.
6. Set boundaries that work for you.
Source: Unsplash After getting a diagnosis, you’ll probably find that some things drain you more than they used to. Whether it’s certain environments or social situations, it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your energy. Learning to say “no” when something doesn’t feel right is a form of self-care, and it’s important for your well-being. Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away — they’re about giving yourself the space you need to thrive.
7. Be patient with yourself.
Adjusting to this new understanding of yourself takes time. There’ll probably be moments of doubt or frustration, especially as you figure out what this diagnosis means for your day-to-day life. Be patient with yourself — this is a process, and it’s okay to take small steps. Every little bit of self-acceptance counts, so don’t feel like you need to have it all together immediately.
8. Challenge stereotypes about autism.
There are so many stereotypes about autism that just aren’t true. Once you have your diagnosis, you might feel a need to educate people and break down these outdated views, though don’t feel pressured if that’s not your thing. By sharing your experiences and talking openly about autism, you can help challenge misconceptions and create a more supportive environment. It’s also a way to stand up for yourself and other people who might not have a voice.
9. Adjust your expectations for yourself.
Getting a diagnosis can make you rethink what success and personal goals look like. It’s totally fine to adjust your expectations for yourself, but that doesn’t mean lowering your standards — it’s about being realistic and kind to yourself. Redefining success based on your unique strengths and needs can help you move forward without the pressure of comparing yourself to other people. It’s all about finding balance.
10. Consider talking to a therapist if you’re struggling.
If things feel overwhelming, it might help to talk to a therapist or coach who has experience with autism. They can give you some practical tools for managing challenges and give you a chance to work through any emotions you’re struggling with. Having someone who understands can make this transition a lot smoother and less stressful.
11. Be open with people about what you need.
Letting people know what you need can make a huge difference in your relationships. Whether it’s being open about sensory sensitivities, social preferences, or things that help you thrive, clear communication can help the people in your life support you better. Sharing this part of yourself helps build understanding and stronger connections with the people you care about.
12. Embrace the idea that autism is part of who you are.
At the end of the day, your diagnosis doesn’t define you, but it’s definitely a big part of who you are. Embracing autism as part of your identity allows you to move forward with confidence. It’s about owning who you are, without feeling the need to fit into anyone else’s idea of “normal.” This mindset will help you live authentically and proudly, knowing that being yourself is more than enough.
