“Dark Energy” doesn’t mean you’re some sort of real-life Voldemort, casting death glares and causing destruction wherever you go.
Generally speaking, it’s a lot more subtle than that. Dark energy is basically another way of saying bad ju-ju, so to speak — having a negative attitude, being stand-offish or pushing people away, not being very friendly or empathetic, etc. You might not even realise you’ve cultivated this kind of aura, but if you have, the signs will be pretty obvious. If these things are happening, your overall vibe needs a serious overhaul.
1. People seem to avoid you or keep conversations short.
If you’ve noticed people seem to be cutting conversations short or are a bit more distant than usual, it might be that your vibe is coming across as a little too intense or draining. Sometimes, people won’t outright say anything, but their body language or the way they act can give it away. If most of your chats are filled with negativity or frustration, it can make people feel a bit uncomfortable or reluctant to engage. You don’t have to force positivity, but maybe try to keep the conversation a little lighter and see if that changes things.
2. You feel drained a lot, even after socialising.
If you’re feeling wiped out after spending time with people, it might not just be the usual social fatigue. It could be that you’re carrying a bit of emotional weight without even realising it. Stress, unresolved feelings, or just a lot going on in your head can take a toll not only on you but on those around you too. Taking a bit of time to check in with yourself, whether that’s journaling, going for a walk, or just taking a breath, can help clear some of that emotional fog and leave you feeling more energised.
3. People mirror your low mood or seem tense around you.
It’s crazy how much energy we can pick up from one another without even meaning to. If you find that people are getting quieter, more serious, or just a bit more tense when you’re around, it could be that they’re picking up on your mood. It doesn’t always have to be obvious – sometimes, people can absorb your vibe without realising it. If you sense the energy in a room change when you walk in, it might be a sign to check in with yourself. Finding little moments to enjoy or feel grateful for can help change things for everyone.
4. You get stuck on problems and don’t bother to think about fixes.
Everyone has challenges to deal with, but if you’re always focused on what’s going wrong, it can start to feel like there’s no way out. It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of complaining or feeling frustrated, but if your energy is always around problems, it can make you feel stuck. Try flipping your focus, even just a little. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do to make this situation better?” A tiny change in perspective can give you a sense of progress and lighten the mood all around.
5. You complain all the time about everything.
It’s normal to vent now and then, but if complaining becomes your go-to, it can quickly build up a cloud of negativity. If your conversations seem to revolve more around setbacks or annoyances, everyone around you might start to feel that negativity too. Instead of focusing only on what’s wrong, try to bring in something more positive or neutral. Even something as simple as sharing something you found interesting or something you’re grateful for can make a big difference.
6. You just can’t bring yourself to feel happy for other people.
If you’re finding it tough to be genuinely happy for someone else when something good happens to them, it might be a sign that your energy’s feeling a little heavy. It’s hard to celebrate someone else’s success if you’re caught up in your own stuff. But you can change that! Even if it’s just a quick “That’s great!” or a short message to say you’re happy for them, it can start to lighten both your energy and your relationships.
7. You regularly replay past negative experiences in your head on a loop.
Constantly reliving bad experiences or holding onto old disappointments can weigh you down without you realising it. If you’re carrying that emotional baggage, it can affect how you feel in the present, and other people might pick up on that. It’s not about forgetting the past but learning to let go of the hold it has on you. Whether it’s talking it out, writing it down, or just finding some closure, releasing those old frustrations can help clear the air.
8. People aren’t all that keen to share good news with you.
If you’ve noticed that people seem to avoid sharing their happy moments with you, it could be because they’re expecting you to be less than enthusiastic. Without meaning to, sometimes we come off as uninterested or dismissive when we’re feeling off. Pay attention to how you react when someone shares their good news. A smile, a quick “That’s amazing!” or a short comment of support can really change the energy in the room and make people feel comfortable opening up to you.
9. You usually feel misunderstood or disconnected from people.
When it feels like no one really “gets” you or you’re always on a different wavelength, it could be tied to the energy you’re putting out. If you’re feeling heavy or emotionally distant, it can create an invisible barrier between you and those around you, making it harder to connect. If that’s happening, try opening up with small positive interactions – sharing something fun, asking how someone’s day’s been, or even just mentioning something you’re looking forward to. Those little efforts can bridge the gap and make you feel more connected to the people around you.
10. You have a lot of tension in your body.
It’s not just emotional energy that gets trapped – it’s physical too. If you’re constantly feeling tense, whether that’s tight shoulders or a clenched jaw, it could be a sign you’re carrying stress and negativity in your body. Taking time to relax and release that physical tension can make a massive difference. Try stretching, deep breathing, or just taking breaks to relax your body. When you feel more physically relaxed, it can translate to a lighter energy that other people pick up on.
11. Conversations feel one-sided or emotionally heavy.
If most of your conversations feel like they’re all about venting or tackling difficult topics, they can get emotionally draining for both you and the other person. While it’s important to talk about what’s on your mind, it’s also helpful to mix in lighter, everyday topics. It doesn’t always have to be deep – sometimes, sharing something funny, random observations, or things you’re looking forward to can make the conversation feel more balanced and enjoyable.
12. You’re not thankful very often (or at least you don’t express it).
Gratitude is such a simple yet powerful way to change your energy, but when life’s feeling tough, it’s easy to forget to be thankful. If you’re struggling to appreciate what’s going right in your life, it could be weighing down your vibe. Try taking a moment, even if it’s just for a second, to think of something you’re grateful for – big or small. That little refocusing can lighten your mood and bring a more positive energy to your day and the people you’re around.
13. You struggle to find joy in the little things.
When you’re feeling weighed down, it can be hard to enjoy the little things, like a good cup of coffee or a sunny day. But those small moments of joy can actually make a huge difference. Make a conscious effort to notice those little things –your favourite song on the radio, hitting all the green lights on your way home from work, etc. These small acts can brighten your mood and help you change your energy in a really positive way.
14. You resist change and trying new things.
If you find yourself avoiding new things or resisting change, it might be because you’re feeling stuck. Stagnation can keep your energy heavy, and the people around you can pick up on that too. Embracing small changes, like trying something new, meeting someone new, or even saying yes to an unexpected invitation, can help change that energy. Being open to fresh experiences can make you feel lighter and more open, which everyone will notice and appreciate.
