At some point, most people have been shamed for something, whether it’s about their body, choices, lifestyle, or even their personality.
Some comments people make are subtle and disguised as “concern,” while others are outright rude. The challenge is knowing how to respond in a way that sets boundaries without letting their words get under your skin. The next time someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself in any way, here are some things you can say in response — don’t let anyone get you down.
1. “I’m happy with my choices, and that’s what matters.”
One of the most common types of shaming comes in the form of unwanted opinions about your decisions, whether it’s about your career, diet, relationships, or even the way you dress. People love to act like they know what’s best for you, but they don’t. This is simple, direct, and leaves no room for debate. It reminds them that you don’t need their approval and that your happiness is your own responsibility. Confidently owning your choices makes it clear that their judgement won’t change anything.
2. “That’s interesting, but I see things differently.”
Sometimes, shaming comes from people who genuinely believe they’re helping. They might think their advice is useful, even when it’s not. Instead of getting defensive, this acknowledges their opinion without agreeing with it. It subtly shuts down further discussion while keeping things civil. If they try to push their point, you can simply repeat it — eventually, they’ll realise you’re not going to argue, and they’ll drop it.
3. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”
Some people just can’t resist giving unsolicited advice, often in a way that feels more like criticism than genuine concern. Whether it’s about your body, lifestyle, or personal choices, they assume their opinion is needed when it really isn’t. This is blunt but effective. It immediately calls out their behaviour without escalating the situation. It lets them know that you’re not interested in their input, and if they have any self-awareness, they’ll back off.
4. “I choose to focus on the things that make me feel good.”
Shaming often comes with negativity, whether it’s about your appearance, abilities, or lifestyle. People who shame others usually want to make them feel self-conscious or unsure of themselves. Instead of letting that energy affect you, this response flips the focus back onto positivity. It tells them that their negativity has no place in your mindset. By making it clear that you prioritise feeling good about yourself, you set a boundary without getting caught in their trap of self-doubt.
5. “You might want to think about why you feel the need to say that.”
People who shame other people rarely stop to think about why they’re doing it. Sometimes, they’re projecting their own insecurities, and other times, they just like to feel superior. Either way, putting the focus back on them forces them to reflect if they’re willing to. Even if they don’t answer, this makes them uncomfortable enough to reconsider their words. It also subtly reminds them that their behaviour isn’t going unnoticed, which can stop them from doing it again.
6. “I prefer to surround myself with people who are supportive.”
If someone consistently shames you, it’s worth reminding them that their negativity isn’t welcome. Sometimes, people don’t realise how harmful their words are, and a simple statement like this can make them reconsider how they treat you. Saying this also sets a boundary — it makes it clear that if they want to be in your life, they need to be respectful. If they can’t handle that, then maybe they’re not the kind of person you need to keep around.
7. “That’s your opinion, but I don’t share it.”
Shaming often comes disguised as “just stating facts” or “saying what everyone else is thinking.” But just because someone says something confidently doesn’t make it true. This reminds them that their opinion is just that—an opinion, not a fact. It also keeps things from turning into an argument. Instead of engaging in a debate, you’re calmly dismissing their statement, making it clear that their words hold no weight over your self-worth.
8. “I don’t base my self-worth on other people’s opinions.”
Some people shame others because they assume their opinion matters more than it does. They expect their words to have power over you, to make you second-guess yourself. This reminds them that they don’t have that kind of influence over your confidence. It sends a clear message that you don’t need their validation. Once they realise that their words aren’t affecting you, they’re less likely to keep pushing their negativity on you.
9. “That’s not something I feel the need to change about myself.”
Shaming often implies that there’s something wrong with you that needs fixing. Whether it’s about your body, personality, or lifestyle, people who shame others assume that their judgement is enough to make you reconsider who you are. This makes it clear that you’re not looking for their approval. You’re content with yourself, and their opinion doesn’t change that. It removes their power and keeps the conversation from turning into self-doubt.
10. “I don’t see how this is any of your business.”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people act like they have a right to comment on your life choices when they really don’t. Whether it’s about what you eat, how you dress, or how you live, they insert themselves into things that don’t affect them in the slightest. This one immediately calls them out. It reminds them that their input wasn’t invited and that you’re not obligated to entertain their opinion. It’s a direct but firm way of shutting down unnecessary judgement.
11. “It’s strange that you care so much about this.”
Source: Unsplash Shaming often says more about the person doing it than the person on the receiving end. If someone is going out of their way to criticise you, it raises the question: why do they care so much? Pointing this out flips the power dynamic. Instead of you being the one put on the spot, they’re the ones left looking defensive. It also makes it clear that their words don’t bother you as much as they expected.
12. “I don’t engage in conversations that bring people down.”
Source: Unsplash Some people shame others just to get a reaction. They want to stir up negativity, whether for control, attention, or their own amusement. This response makes it clear that you won’t play along. It subtly tells them that you won’t be pulled into their toxic behaviour. If they continue, you can simply walk away or disengage. Most people lose interest once they realise they’re not getting the reaction they want.
13. “I’d rather focus on things that actually matter.”
Source: Unsplash Shaming often revolves around things that don’t actually affect anyone else — how someone looks, what they eat, or their personal preferences. When you put it into perspective, it’s ridiculous how much energy some people spend on judging other people. Reminding them that their criticism is trivial puts things into perspective. It shows that you’re focused on things that actually matter, rather than wasting energy on pointless negativity.
14. “You don’t have to like it, but you do have to respect it.”
Source: Unsplash Not everyone will agree with your choices, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is when people think their disapproval gives them the right to shame or disrespect you. This makes it clear that while opinions are allowed, disrespect isn’t. It sets a firm boundary — people don’t have to love everything about you, but they do need to treat you with basic decency. If they can’t do that, then their presence in your life might not be necessary.
