Making a big life change can be overwhelming, even if it’s exciting and/or necessary.
Whether you’re thinking about switching careers, moving to a new place, or making a major personal decision, the fear of the unknown can make you hesitate. But fear doesn’t always mean something is wrong; it just means it matters. If you’re feeling stuck, these questions will help you work through your worries and figure out your next move.
1. What’s the worst that could happen?
Source: Unsplash Fear has a way of making everything feel bigger than it actually is. When you picture making this change, what’s the absolute worst outcome you can imagine? Losing money? Failing? Feeling embarrassed? Now ask yourself: how likely is that, really? And even if the worst-case scenario did happen, what would you do? Chances are, you’d deal with it, adjust, and find a way forward, just like you always have. Breaking down your fears like this makes them feel less intimidating.
2. What’s the best that could happen?
It’s easy to focus on what could go wrong, but what if it all goes right? What if this change brings more happiness, freedom, or success than you expected? What if it’s the thing that finally makes you feel alive again? We spend so much time trying to avoid failure that we forget to imagine the best possible outcome. Shifting your mindset to consider what you could gain, rather than what you could lose, can make the decision feel more exciting than terrifying.
3. Am I staying where I am because it’s comfortable or because it’s right?
Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it’s where you’re meant to be. Sometimes, we stay in the same job, relationship, or situation simply because it’s easier than taking a risk. But comfort and happiness aren’t always the same thing. If you’re only staying because it’s familiar, ask yourself if you’re willing to trade long-term happiness for short-term ease. If the answer is no, then it might be time to move forward.
4. If I wasn’t scared, what would I do?
Fear can cloud your thinking and make it hard to see what you actually want. So strip fear out of the equation for a moment. If you knew for certain that everything would work out, what choice would you make? Your gut reaction to this question says a lot. It’s not about ignoring risks, but about recognising what you truly want before fear has a chance to talk you out of it.
5. What regrets might I have if I don’t do this?
It’s normal to fear making the wrong decision, but have you considered what it would feel like to never even try? Five or ten years from now, will you be looking back and wondering what could have been? Regret can be harder to live with than failure. At least when you try, you get an answer. But when you let fear hold you back, you’ll never know what could have happened. That’s something worth thinking about.
6. Am I making this decision based on fear or excitement?
Fear and excitement feel surprisingly similar — both can make your heart race and your mind spin. But they lead to very different choices. Are you hesitating because this isn’t right for you, or just because stepping into the unknown feels scary? Excitement often comes with a bit of fear. It means you’re about to do something that stretches you. If there’s even a small part of you that feels a buzz of possibility, that’s a sign it’s worth considering.
7. What’s stopping me from believing I can handle this?
If you’re doubting yourself, ask why. What’s making you believe you’re incapable of handling this change? Is it past failures? A lack of support? The fear of messing up? Now, think about everything you’ve already overcome in your life. You’ve handled tough situations before, and you’ll handle this too. The only difference is whether you choose to trust yourself this time.
8. Have I been in this situation before, and what did I learn?
This probably isn’t the first time you’ve faced a big decision. Think back — have you ever been scared to take a step before? What happened when you did? Even if things didn’t go exactly as planned, chances are you figured it out, learned something, and moved forward. Your past experiences are proof that you’re stronger than you think. If you’ve done it once, you can do it again.
9. Who do I know that has made a similar change?
Sometimes, seeing that someone else has done it makes all the difference. Do you know anyone who has taken a similar leap? What was their experience? Reaching out to someone who has been in your shoes can give you valuable insight, reassurance, or even practical advice. If they found a way to make it work, it’s proof that it’s possible for you too.
10. What small steps can I take instead of making one huge leap?
Big changes can feel overwhelming when you view them as one giant decision. But what if you broke it down into smaller, more manageable steps? Instead of quitting your job overnight, can you start networking or taking courses on the side? Instead of moving abroad immediately, can you visit first? Breaking the change into bite-sized steps makes it feel far less intimidating.
11. Am I waiting for the “perfect” time?
It’s easy to put things off, telling yourself you’ll do it “when the time is right.” But be honest, is there ever going to be a time when you’re 100% ready? Life is always going to be a little messy. There will always be reasons to wait. But waiting doesn’t guarantee a better outcome, it just delays it. The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll see progress.
12. What would I tell a friend in my position?
If your best friend came to you with the same fear, what advice would you give them? Chances are, you’d be much kinder, more encouraging, and more logical than you’re being with yourself. Sometimes, we’re our own worst critics. But if you’d tell a friend to go for it, maybe it’s time to take your own advice. You deserve the same encouragement you’d give to someone else.
