When a neurodivergent person loves someone, they don’t necessarily show it in traditional ways.
However, that doesn’t mean their feelings are any less real. Through actions, routines, or thoughtful gestures, their love often shows up in ways that might go unnoticed if you don’t know what you’re looking for. If you’ve ever wondered if a neurodivergent person in your life cares about you (or have had doubts about how much), these subtle but meaningful ways of expressing affection might give you the answer.
1. They remember small details you mentioned in passing.
They might not always express emotions in obvious ways, but if they remember tiny things you’ve said — your favourite snack, a childhood story, or an oddly specific preference — it’s a sign they’re paying attention. That kind of detail-oriented memory is often how they show they care. Even if they struggle with verbal affirmations, their ability to recall these small details means they genuinely value what you share with them. It’s their way of keeping you close, even if they don’t always say it outright.
2. They share their special interests with you.
When someone with ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent condition is passionate about something, it becomes a huge part of their world. If they take the time to share it with you — whether it’s an info-dump about their latest obsession or inviting you to join them — it’s a big deal. It means they trust you enough to let you into something that brings them joy. Even if it seems random or overly intense, their enthusiasm is their way of connecting with you on a deeper level.
3. They adjust their routines to include you.
Many neurodivergent people rely on routines to feel stable, so any kind of change can be a big deal. If they make an effort to fit you into their schedule or adapt their habits for you, it’s a sign of love. Whether it’s making time for you despite needing alone time or shifting their plans to accommodate yours, it shows they’re willing to be flexible because they care about you.
4. They show love through problem-solving.
Instead of traditional romantic gestures, they might express love by fixing things, offering solutions, or trying to make your life easier. If you mention a problem, don’t be surprised if they jump into “let me fix this” mode. Their practical way of showing care is often misunderstood, but it’s their way of helping. They may not always say, “I love you,” but their actions often speak louder than words.
5. They communicate in the way that feels easiest for them.
Not all neurodivergent people are comfortable with face-to-face conversations, so they might show love through texts, voice notes, or even sending you memes. Just because it’s not a deep heart-to-heart doesn’t mean it’s not meaningful. If they go out of their way to communicate with you in the way that works best for them, it’s a clear sign they value your connection. The medium might be different, but the effort is what counts.
6. They give practical gifts instead of traditional ones.
Forget flowers and chocolates — if a neurodiverse person gets you a useful or unexpected gift, it’s probably their way of showing love. They might buy you something that solves a problem you mentioned or that fits into your routine. It might not seem romantic at first, but this kind of thoughtfulness shows they’ve been paying attention. For them, love isn’t always about grand gestures; it’s about making your life better in real, tangible ways.
7. They offer sensory comfort.
Many neurodivergent people are highly sensitive to sensory experiences, so if they notice you’re uncomfortable and try to help, it’s a sign they care. They might offer you their hoodie, adjust the lighting, or suggest a quieter space. Because they know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, they’re often highly aware of when someone else might be struggling. If they go out of their way to make your environment more comfortable, take it as a sign of love.
8. They create inside jokes or references just for you.
If they develop a specific way of talking to you, whether it’s through inside jokes, nicknames, or shared references, it means you hold a special place in their world. Such a personalised way of communicating helps them feel connected. It might not always be obvious to other people, but these little shared moments are their way of reinforcing your bond. If they have a special way of speaking to you that no one else gets, that’s love in their own unique language.
9. They give you space when you need it.
Some people express love by always being around, but neurodivergent people often show love by giving you the space they’d also appreciate. If they notice you’re overwhelmed and let you have time alone, they’re respecting your needs. They understand that sometimes the best way to care for someone is to step back and let them recharge. If they do this, it’s not because they don’t want to be around you; it’s because they value your comfort as much as their own.
10. They open up in their own time.
Many neurodiverse people take a while to fully trust someone, especially when it comes to emotions. If they share personal thoughts, feelings, or struggles with you, it’s a massive sign of trust and affection. It might not be in the way you expect, but if they let you into their world, they see you as someone safe. Being patient with their pace shows them that you appreciate them for who they are.
11. They research things that matter to you.
Source: Unsplash If they look up something they know you love — your favourite TV show, a hobby, or even your favourite snacks — it’s their way of connecting with you. They might not always say, “I love you,” but they’ll show it by learning about the things that make you happy. Taking the time to understand your interests, even if they don’t personally share them, is their way of making an effort. If they suddenly bring up something you love that you never expected them to care about, that’s love in action.
12. They express care through routines or habits.
Source: Unsplash Instead of spontaneous romantic gestures, a neurodivergent person might show love by doing small, consistent things. Maybe they always check in on you at a certain time or send a goodnight text without fail. These routines aren’t just habits; they’re their way of making sure you know you matter. If they include you in their structured world, it’s because they want you to be part of it.
13. They create something just for you.
Source: Unsplash Many neurodiverse people express themselves through creativity, whether it’s art, writing, music, or even coding. If they make something specifically for you, it’s a deeply personal way of showing love. It doesn’t have to be a big masterpiece; even a silly doodle or a custom playlist shows they’re thinking about you. If they take the time to create something just for you, it’s because you’re important to them.
14. They show up in the ways that feel right for them.
Source: Unsplash A neurodivergent person might not always show love in the most traditional ways, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care deeply. Instead of focusing on what they don’t do, paying attention to what they do can reveal just how much they value you. Whether it’s through actions, small gestures, or unique ways of expressing themselves, their love is always there — you just have to know where to look.
